It’s that time of year again, folks. PETA has teamed up with Johnny Rockets to bring the world “buy one, get one free” veggie burgers throughout the month of May. If you have a Johnny Rockets near you, grab a friend, a loved one, or some random dude off the street, head over to the restaurant with your coupon, and get your companion to order a Veggie Streamliner and a soda, so you can get the second one for freezie. Seriously—the free ones taste better.

And if you don’t have any friends or loved ones, bring the coupon anyway so you can get two delicious veggie burgers for yourself. Sounds like you probably need them.

Details here.

For anyone who still has doubts about the power of the internet, check out this AP story about 14-year-old Amy Bareijan. Amy wanted to go vegetarian after watching Meet Your Meat on YouTube, so she posted her own video asking for people’s advice and personal experiences that may help her. The response was overwhelming, to say the least. Check out the story here.

The video that started it all:

While the rest of us were working our fingers to the bone responding to the Michael Vick indictment yesterday, PETA Campaigner Mike Brazell got to traipse off to DC to live out my greatest fantasy—eating veggie dogs with a pair of Playboy Playmates (hey, I'm a man of simple desires.) I will keep you up to date throughout the week as the Vick case develops, but I think something a bit more lighthearted is in order for this morning's entry. Besides, these pictures, from yesterday's "Congressional Veggie Dog Lunch" are just too good to pass up.

Positively dreamy.

And now, with those pictures to bolster you up against the trials of the day, back to Michael Vick …

Vick News

Sign Russell Simmons and Al Sharpton's pledge to stamp out dogfighting

Sun Times Columnist says Vick must go

Court date is set for next week

ESPN talks animal rights

And finally, despite leading The Girls of Norfolk High to the Fantasy Super Bowl last year (we lost), Michael Vick will definitely not be making my fantasy roster when the draft begins in August. I can only hope the Falcons management makes the same smart decision to suspend him from their team.

How am I just hearing about this? Come on, the first ever veggie dog eating contest, I would have been on a plane to get there faster than the Olsen twins throw up their lunch. Seriously.

The soon to be annual event happened last Saturday in Austin, TX, and the report I got said that over 300 people attended, and 40 contestants devoured some 600+ veggie dogs in about 24 minutes. Not bad, eh? The inaugural World Veggie Hot Dog Eating Champion, at a count of 16 ½ veggie dogs, is Colin "the Tim Duncan of Competitive Eating" Kalmbacher, a vegan.

Full results and photos will be posted here soon. And of course, mad props go out to ilovemikelitt for putting this event on. Fair warning to you, Colin, I’ve already started training for next year. I’m coming for your title. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I want to start off today by talking about the veggie burger I created at a barbeque last night. Here's how it worked: 1 Boca burger, 1 Chik'n patty, a ton of Bac'n bits, 2 slices of soy cheese, a healthy dose of vegenaise, guacamole, lettuce, and tomatoes. In just one sitting, I devoured three different fake animals, and it was amazing. Word on the street is that the folks over at PETA's Veg Cooking website are going to be coming out with a food blog in the next couple of months, so I expect that—since it seems fairly clear that I am some kind of culinary genius—they will be wanting me as a consultant. If they ask nicely, I may even share with them my recipe for tater tots and ketchup.

Anyway, as today is day 5 of Be Kind to Animals Week, it seemed like as good a time as any to make the point that the single easiest and most effective way of being kind to animals is only eating fake ones. They've got pretty much every kind of fake animal these days, and I like to cook the little suckers up with garlic and douse them in steak sauce. And for anyone who holds themselves to a higher culinary standard than me (which, honestly, most people do), there are a ton of great vegan recipes on the aforementioned Veg Cooking website. Also, if you haven't come across it already, you should check out the Vegan Lunchbox blog. That lady seriously knows what she's doing.

By now, most people in the country, and certainly everyone in the blogosphere, have heard about the letter we sent Al Gore urging him to face the reality that while the steps he asks people to take in An Inconvenient Truth are certainly important, the most effective way to stop climate change is through diet change. So, for Big Al (oh and by the way, vegetarians weigh, on average, 10 percent less than their meat eating-counterparts … I'm just saying) we want to make the veg thing easy by offering to cook him food and giving him recipes.

The story has been covered all over the world, but my favorite by far is the Fox News piece that starts with “Can Al Gore be a meat-eating environmentalist? PETA says no… and is offering to cook the following meal for the former vice president to prove it!” and goes on to list the vegan recipes we are offering to cook for him. Brit Hume also talked about the issue on his show last night, which is pretty cool too.

Anyway, since this whole thing made the news, we’ve been getting tons of requests for the recipes, so here you go. Have fun!

Fried 'Chicken'
(Makes 4 servings)

Ingredients:
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. garlic powder
2 cups unbleached white flour
4 Tbsp. nutritional yeast (optional)
3 Tbsp. yellow mustard
1/2 cup water
2 Tbsp. baking powder
1 lb. soy chicken (Morningstar farms chicken strips)
3 1/2 cups vegetable oil

Method:
Mix together the salt, onion powder, pepper, garlic powder, flour, and nutritional yeast in a deep bowl.
In a separate bowl, dilute the mustard with 1/2 cup water.
Add 1/3 cup of the flour mixture to the mustard mixture and stir. Add the baking powder to the dry flour mixture and mix.
Dip chunks of the soy chicken into the mustard batter, then drop each chunk into the flour mixture and coat with the desired amount of "crust."
Fry the chunks in hot oil on medium-high heat in a large skillet or deep fryer until crispy and golden brown, turning as needed.

Slow-Cooked Collard Greens
(Makes 8 servings)

Ingredients:
4 bunches collard greens
4 Tbsp. olive oil
4 medium onions
4 cloves garlic, minced
4 carrots, minced
1 1/2 cups vegetable stock
2 chipotle peppers
Salt, to taste

Method:
Heat the oil in a large saucepan. Add the onions and the garlic cloves. Sauté until the onions are soft.
Add the collard greens, carrots, and vegetable stock. Cook until tender.
Season with the salt.

Cornbread
(Makes 6 to 8 servings)

Ingredients
6 Tbsp. water
2 Tbsp. ground flax seed
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup cornmeal
1/4 cup sugar
4 tsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. salt
1 cup plain soy milk
1/4 cup canola oil
Walnut halves, optional

Method:
Preheat the oven to 425ºF. Lightly oil an 8-inch square baking dish.
Bring the water to a boil in a small saucepan. Add the ground flax seed and reduce the heat to medium-low. Stirring occasionally, simmer for 3 minutes, or until thickened.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cornmeal, Florida Crystals, baking powder, and salt.
Add the flax seed mixture, soy milk, and canola oil to the flour mixture. Combine just until smooth.
Pour the batter into the prepared baking dish and place the walnut halves on top. Bake for 20- 25 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean.

Creamy Chive Mashed Potatoes
(Makes 4 to 5 servings)

Ingredients:
5 large potatoes, diced
1 cup liquid nondairy creamer (try Silk brand)
2 Tbsp. margarine
1/4 cup fresh chives, chopped
Salt and pepper, to taste

Method:
Place the potatoes in a large pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil and cook for 20 minutes.
Drain the potatoes, place in a bowl with the remaining ingredients, and mix until smooth.
Serve hot.

Chicken-less Gravy
(Makes 6 to 8 servings)

Ingredients:
2 cups boiling water
2 Tbsp. vegetable oil
3 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
1 vegetable bouillon cube
1/2 cup fresh mushrooms, diced
1/2 cup onion, finely chopped
Onion salt, to taste
Unbleached all-purpose flour

Method:
In a large saucepan, simmer all ingredients except the flour for approximately 5 minutes.
Slowly add the flour by tablespoons, whisking after each addition, until the desired thickness is reached.
Keep warm.

Preparation time: 10 minutes

All-American Apple Pie
(Makes 8 servings)

Ingredients for the Crust:
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tsp. salt
1/4 cup cold water
3/4 cup solid vegetable shortening

Ingredients for the Filling:
1 3/4 lbs. Golden Delicious apples, thinly sliced
1 3/4 lbs. Granny Smith apples, thinly sliced
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp. fresh lemon juice
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 Tbsp. unbleached flour

3 Tbsp. Earth Balance margarine, diced
1 Tbsp. soy milk
1 Tbsp. Florida Crystals sugar
Large pinch of ground cinnamon

Method for the Crust:
In a bowl, combine the flour and the salt. Mix the water with 1/3 cup of the flour mixture to make a paste. Set aside.
With a pastry cutter or a fork, cut the vegetable shortening into the remaining flour mixture until the texture is "pebbly." Add the paste and mix well. Shape into a ball and divide into 2 parts.
Lightly flour a clean countertop and rolling pin. Roll 1 portion of the dough at a time. Roll from the center out, lifting the roller at the end of the dough (rather than rolling back and forth). Roll to a 1/8-inch thickness.
Have an 8- or 9-inch pie pan ready. The rolled dough should be at least 2 inches larger than your pie pan. Loosen from the rolling surface, fold in half, and place in the center of the pie pan. Unfold and gently work into the pan, pressing lightly. Trim any excess dough with a knife.

Method for the Filling:
Preheat the oven to 400°F.
In a large bowl, combine the apples, sugar, lemon juice, vanilla extract, and cinnamon. Let stand for approximately 15 minutes, or until juices form. Add the flour and mix.

To Assemble:
Spoon the filling into the bottom crust and dot with margarine.
Roll out the second ball of dough to form a 13-inch round circle. Drape over the filling.
Seal the top and bottom crust edges together and trim any excess dough, leaving a 1/2-inch overhang. Fold under and crimp decoratively with a greased fork.
Brush the pie with the soy milk. Combine the sugar and the cinnamon in a small bowl and sprinkle over the pie.
Transfer to a baking sheet and place in the oven.
Immediately reduce the temperature to 375°F. Bake for approximately 2 hours, or until the crust is golden brown, the apples are tender, and the filling is thick and bubbling. If the edges are browning too quickly, cover with foil.
Serve warm or at room temperature.

And if you’ve read this far, chances are you’d like some more ozone-friendly vegan recipes, so here you go.