Hey, I had to use that subject line at some point. Cut me some slack here. The reference is to a fantastic piece by Bill Maher that appeared in yesterday’s Huffington Post, asking George Bush to pardon all the turkeys. Here’s an excerpt:

"I ask you to do what I'm going to do and pardon a turkey this Thanksgiving. It's not hard. Just eat something else (ideas here and here). Not someone else, because it doesn't seem fair to spare a turkey and roast a hunk of pig or cow instead. If we can bow our heads in gratitude for our families, our friends and our big screen TVs, and then carve into a creature who lived a miserable life and died a horrible death, then our ethics are about as sensible as Britney's parenting skills."

You can read the full post here, and be sure to leave a comment telling Bill Maher he’s a badass. Or something more eloquent. In making the case for a vegetarian Thanksgiving, Bill’s piece refers to our investigation into a Butterball factory farm that was a central theme of the recent HBO documentary about PETA, as well as a brand-new PETA investigation into a standard American turkey slaughterhouse, which is required viewing for anyone who is still thinking about cooking a turkey for dinner this Thanksgiving:

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Despite some of the morbid rituals that it’s often associated with, Thanksgiving has long been my very favorite holiday, because (unlike its overrated rival, Christmas) you don’t have to buy anybody presents for it. There are also not one, but two football games on Thanksgiving, which gives the day another powerful edge over the more popular December holiday (which is often embarrassingly devoid of sporting events), and its central theme—eating—is simple, but consistently satisfying. So, I put it to you that Thanksgiving is in fact the greatest holiday of all—or it would be, if they could only get over that whole unfortunate turkey thing. For more on that, check out this awesome ad we made a little while back to encourage people to give turkeys a break on Thanksgiving Day.

Citypages/Creative Commons

On Wednesday of this week, President Bush will be performing one of the more morbid rituals this country celebrates—the annual “Turkey Pardon” ceremony in the Rose Garden, in which he will be magnanimously sparing the lives of two turkeys (out of a field of 12 animals whose lives were put up for a vote this month) and then sending the birds to Disneyland, where they will probably die within a year due to inadequate care. I suppose the turkeys in question will be more enthused about this turn of events than they would be about the alternative, but I have to say I can think of a number of ways that I’d rather spend my Thanksgiving than being manhandled by politicians and then sent to Disneyland to die...

As we normally do at this time of year, we sent a letter to the President this morning asking him to take steps to ensure that the "pardoned" birds receive the care they will need to live out the year. You can read that letter here, and for more information about the conditions endured by the 50 million other turkeys who will be killed this Thanksgiving season, click here.

Update: The event was a huge success! Pam dished out plate after plate of the faux turkey, which was a big hit with the guests at the homeless shelter. Check out these exclusive pics:

Pamela Anderson will be spending some time at a homeless shelter in Las Vegas this evening to serve an early Thanksgiving dinner to homeless families in the area. And Pam’s act of charity will also be setting an example for people who want to make Turkey Day a bit kinder on the turkeys, as the dinner she’s serving is 100 percent vegetarian, with Garden Protein’s amazing faux turkey as its centerpiece. All of the veggie turkey (which you can get in any Whole Foods, btw) was donated by the folks at Garden Protein. Here’s what Pam had to say about the event,

"The holiday season can be especially hard for those who find themselves homeless. And it's murder on turkeys. With so many healthy and delicious options nowadays, it's easy to have a holiday meal that gives even turkeys something to be thankful for."

Pam was inspired to host the event after she saw video footage from PETA's recent investigation at a turkey slaughterhouse, which showed workers striking and handling birds so roughly that the animals suffered broken bones. Not to be too much of a downer here since this is a really positive story, but the footage is heartbreaking, and it shows standard practices in turkey slaughterhouses around the country, which should make anyone think twice about eating turkeys this Thanksgiving.

The good news is that there are some wonderful alternatives, and if you’re trying to come up with a menu for your Thanksgiving dinner this year, you could do a whole lot worse than the feast that Pam is serving tonight, including Veggie Stuffed Turkey Roast with wild rice and cranberries donated by Garden Protein, mashed potatoes with veggie gravy, and garlic-braised collards.

I’ll have pictures of the event up later tonight, so be sure to check back!

And if you’re still undecided about whether to have an all-vegetarian Thanksgiving this year, this is the footage from our recent investigation which inspired Pam to host the event.

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Tofurky

Thanksgiving is a special time for my family. Every year, just before the holiday, we gather in my parents' living room to swap stories, reminisce about Thanksgivings past, and desperately try to figure out what suckers are going to invite us to their family Thanksgiving this year. Because there's no way in hell my Dad's going to be doing any cooking, and I have a very strict policy against doing dishes when I'm on vacation. This year we have our sights set on the Papageorgiou family. They have a nice house in D.C., and preliminary reports indicate that they make excellent cranberry sauce. The one thing we do provide for our chosen hosts though is a frozen Tofurky for them to cook, so I can do my vegan thing in style. Along with the Thanksgiving football games, the Tofurky is the highlight for me of an already kickass holiday. I really, really like Tofurky.

Manoles Papageorgiou

Turns out I'm not the only one. As of January 1, 2006, Turtle Island foods (the geniuses responsible for Tofurky) have sold 882,310 Tofurkys. They're currently holding a contest on their site to see who can guess what that number will be by January 1, 2007. The person who comes closest will win an Evader electric scooter, and all you have to do to enter is send your guess to info@tofurky.com, or fill out the form here. We're also holding our own contest with Turtle Island to give away a free Tofurky Feast, so you might want to check that out too. I'm apparently not allowed to enter that one because of some stupid "conflict of interest" crap. Maybe if you win, you can invite my family over for Thanksgiving this year.

Related Links

Turkey Terror!
Turtle Island Foods
Take the Thanksgiving Pledge