therockhandle / CC

As those of you who have been keeping up with your NCAA "March Madness" brackets will know, this year's college basketball championship series is down to the final four schools, all vying for the top spot. Unfortunately, they're all losers.

I say this because, in a tragic irony, the universities that have the most talented athletes also seem to hire some of the cruelest animal abusers in the nation.

Need proof?

Villanova University vs. University of North Carolina

Villanova experimenters inject methamphetamine into rats' stomachs to determine whether the drug influences the rats' response time in behavioral tests (gee, I wonder). Unfortunately, as you might have seen in our "Who Cares?" video, this kind of pointless and cruel test on rats and mice is still legal—in fact, no experiment on them, no matter how painful, is against the law.

Maria Boccia, a vivisector at UNC–Chapel Hill, removes rat pups—at 2 to 14 days old—from their mothers for extended periods of time in order to induce a deep depression in the mother rats. She then places the mothers in cylinders of water from which they can not escape in order to see how quickly they are overcome with a sense of helplessness and stop swimming.

University of Connecticut vs. Michigan State University

At University of Connecticut, experimenters implant steel rods into rabbits' spines to keep them immobile. They then shock the rabbits with electrodes and measure the animals' brainwaves while they are still awake.

Not to be outdone, the returning "champion" from last year's contest, MSU vivisector Arthur Weber has continued his "work" removing the eyes of cats while the animals are still alive. Weber attempted to justify his cruel and pointless experiments last year; on Weber's behalf, an MSU official stated, "The animals are completely anesthetized, receive painkillers, and once the animals come out of the anesthesia, 10 minutes later you can't tell the difference." Yeah, you're probably right. I'm sure eyes are overrated anyway. What?! And don't forget the part where you keep them alive for a week after the operation and then kill them—I'd be willing to bet my March Madness pool money that they notice that too!

Of course, it's not the basketball players' fault that their schools hired such colossal creeps—animal experimentation is big business. As shown above, though, no amount of money can keep animal abusers from being morally bankrupt.

Posted by Ryan Huling

It's been almost a year in the making, but three lions and two tigers in Kansas will soon be on their way to new homes after PETA pressured local authorities to act. We were first alerted to the big cats' plight back in May 2008, when a passerby informed us that the animals were being kept in what essentially amounts to a junkyard. Behold, the "Prairie Cat Animal Refuge" in all its splendor:

In June, we sent a team of exotic-animal experts to assess the situation, and their reports were included in the local sheriff's case, which recommended that charges be filed against the cats' "owner" and that authorities take custody of the animals. Unfortunately, the case encountered reams of politically-charged red tape. Then, last month, a man "under the influence" who was working and staying at a so-called "hotel" on the property (it's called the "Free Breakfast Inn"—infer what you will from that), wandered up to the cages and was promptly bitten by a lion. That incident, while not so good for the man (he was hospitalized for surgery on his arm), finally galvanized the authorities into action.

In the meantime, PETA was lining up homes for the animals to be taken to once they were given a clean bill of health: The Detroit Zoo (a progressive zoo that closed its elephant exhibit for humane reasons and has provided a home for numerous rescued exotic animals, including one of the Suarez polar bears) has agreed to take all three lions, and the tigers will go to Carnivore Preservation Trust, a sanctuary in North Carolina. The zoo is covering all expenses for testing and transporting the lions, while PETA is covering the cost of testing and transporting the tigers. That cost is estimated at $3,000. We're hoping that the animals will be moved at the end of the month—we'll keep you posted.

So there you have it—the latest installment of "Your PETA Dollars at Work." Just doin' our job, folks.

Posted by Alisa Mullins