Update: You can now place your order for bin Laden Bites by clicking here. Orders will not ship until January. Proceeds from the chocolate sales will be used for our programs—such as our spay-and-neuter clinic—that help dogs.

I've heard my fair share of oxymorons, but never one as (literally) delicious and biting as this one: cruelty-free beheading.

When we heard that our troops in Afghanistan hungered for some chocolate, we jumped at the opportunity to send them some dairy-free delectable delights and even made a tastily topical design just for the occasion:

When the troops sink their teeth into our savory, vegan chocolate Bin Laden Bites, they'll satisfy their confectionary craving while getting some sweet revenge by taking a bite out of Osama's head.

Who ever thought that chocolate could be this cathartic?

Posted by Logan Scherer

borders / CC

What's the only thing better than the most soyous time of year? Vegan chocolate. Every day.

This year, we've found a gift that really does keep on giving. With the Advent calendar from Amanda's Own Confections, each day of December offers a new door and a small wonder behind it: a piece of scrumptious, cruelty-free chocolate. And it culminates in the best Christmas miracle ever: a big dairy-free chocolate Santa.

You can win the sweetest calendar ever—simply post a comment with your funniest holiday greeting.

We've got two Advent calendars to give away to the commenters who make us laugh the hardest. The contest ends on November 23, 2009, and we'll pick the winner on November 25, 2009. Be sure to read our privacy policy and terms and conditions, as you're agreeing to both by commenting. Good luck!

Posted by Logan Scherer

Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might
Eat an entire Chocoholic Basket tonight.

Seriously, I bet I could eat this Pangea gift basket in one sitting. But it sucks to be me right now because I can't enter "Win It" Wednesday contests*. You, however, can win this chocolate-lover's dream—simply post a comment to submit your clever, funny dialogue, à la Go Fug Yourself, for the picture below:

commons.wikimedia / CC

We've got one Chocoholic Basket to give away to the author of the caption that makes us laugh the hardest. The contest ends on October 28, 2009, and we'll choose one winner on October 30, 2009. Be sure to read our privacy policy and terms and conditions, as you're agreeing to both by commenting. Good luck!

Posted by Karin Bennett

*Actually, that's probably a good thing.

My rescued beagle, Lulu, RIP, was determined to devour every piece of chocolate she laid her big baby browns on. I once foolishly thought that a huge dark chocolate bar I'd put in a file cabinet at the office was safe from discovery. Wrong. No opposable thumb? No problem. Somehow she still managed to push the small latch to the side while simultaneously opening the drawer.

After that incident—which involved a visit to the emergency vet—the chocolate went into the fridge, and the baster, hydrogen peroxide, and activated charcoal went into the bathroom cabinet, just in case.

The prize for this week's "Win It" Wednesday contest is sure to come in handy for emergency situations like Lulu's. It's this handy and stylish emergency kit for your pooch:

supercoolpets / CC

How do you win it? Post a comment to share the preventative action(s) you use to keep your dog safe. We've got one kit to give away, and the person who provides the most thorough plan of action wins.

The contest ends on October 21, 2009, and we'll choose one winner on October 23, 2009. Be sure to read our privacy policy and terms and conditions, as you're agreeing to both by commenting. Good luck!

Posted by Karin Bennett

Thanks for all of your wonderful comments on this Win It Wednesday. The winners of the vegan chocolate bars are Heather, Saucy, and Mary L. Congratulations!

Raise your hand if you're a junk-food junkie. Yeah, me too. Candy, chips, fried stuff—whatever your fix is, we're all in this together.

Luckily for those of us with a major sweet tooth, Go Max Go Foods has a brand-new line of chocolate bars that mimics some popular candies—but without all those unhealthy animal products, trans fats, and hydrogenated oils. But wait, it gets better: You could win a chance to taste-test them yourself!

vegblog / CC

How do you win? Leave us a comment about your favorite vegan junk food. Check out this list if you need help with ideas. Three winners will win a pack of all four candy bars from Go Max Go.

The contest ends on June 3, 2009, and we'll choose the three most mouthwatering comments as the winners on June 5, 2009. Be sure to read our privacy policy and terms and conditions, as you're agreeing to both by commenting. Check back every Wednesday for new prizes. Good luck!

Posted by Lianne Turner