epets / CC

If you were paying attention to the news yesterday, you may have seen quite a few stories about PETA—apparently, we were quite busy!

The biggest story came from NPR, which reported on our efforts to save animals from the humiliation of having losing sports teams named after them. Our joint effort with the Humane Society, "Stop Teams Everywhere From Animal Mascots (STEAM)," has reportedly supported legislation in Michigan, Maryland, and Tennessee.

Meanwhile, Tor.com discussed our indecision regarding the Furry community (Animal-friendly? Unfriendly? Too-friendly?), and Aero-News.net announced our intention to seek $250,000 in damages (as well as an apology) for the geese killed in the "Miracle on the Hudson."

Our friends at ecorazzi highlighted Al Gore's new and non-environmentally-hypocritical line of organic vegan frozen foods—first up, "Al Gore's Vegan Nubs." And Groovy Vegetarian lamented the sad news that our president, Ingrid E. Newkirk, was caught chowing down on a Burger King Whopper.

Now, come on, people, you didn't really believe any of these stories, did you? I mean, everybody knows that we'd ask for way more than $250,000 … I kid, I kid. So, yes—we found ourselves the subject of a number of April Fool's jokes. And don't worry, we had our share of the fun too. C'mon—squirrel underpants? Pheromone-fueled hunter-targeting snake attacks? A Photoshop job this bad on a PETA ad?

I hope you all knew better than to fall for that one!

Posted by Amanda Schinke

squirrelunderpants / CC

Our friends at PETA Europe are fed up with how "culling animals" is hailed as a solution to so-called population "crises." The latest proposal comes from Scotland, where plans are in place to conduct a £1.3 million cull (read "mass slaughter") of the gray squirrel population. To satisfy everyone's needs—both the Scots' and the squirrels'—PETA Europe has come up with a humane alternative.

Squirrel underpants.

The idea for the teeny-tiny tighty-whities wasn't PETA Europe's—the kudos goes to the Squirrel Underpants Company. But PETA Europe is urgently calling for squirrel lovers everywhere to help it purchase thousands of pairs of those pants, which are specially made to fit squirrels, so that the mischievous little creatures will find it exceedingly difficult, if not impossible, to mate. Call them chastity pants, if you so wish.

Gray squirrels were introduced to the U.K. from the U.S. in the 19th century and have since been blamed for decimating the population of native red squirrels. But, in actuality, deforestation, epidemic diseases and harsh winters have all had an effect on red squirrels' numbers (not to mention hunters, who, let's face it, were killing them for bounties long before gray squirrels even arrived in Britain).

"The idea of exterminating millions of friendly and adaptable bushy-tailed squirrels is madness," says PETA Europe Director Robbie LeBlanc. "We want Americans also to help buy squirrel underwear and so stave off a Scottish attack on these little animals, as, after all, this is the peaceful solution to a problem that they created!" Mee-oww!

Posted by Shawna Flavell

greglasley / CC

While the Western cottonmouth usually preys on small warm-blooded animals, this spring, during mating season, these venomous snakes may be going after a different type of quarry: small-minded, cold-blooded Missouri duck hunters.

Rumor has it that water blinds (duck hunters' huts that are camouflaged to look like the water) in Oregon, Howell, Carter, Pulaski, Phelps, Wayne, Pemiscot, Mississippi, Scott, and Stoddard counties have been sprayed with the pheromones of female cottonmouths. The pheromones, taken from excrement evacuated from the cottonmouth's cloacal chamber, are guaranteed to attract aggressive males looking for some tail. I'm not a herpetologist, but I'm guessing that these randy reptiles are going to be pretty ticked-off when their booty call turns out to be a couple of dudes dressed like bushes.

So how can duck hunters avoid being bitten or, God forbid, part of a coital coil? We suggest that they hang up hunting and consider taking up golf or baseball instead. If they don't, then I agree with my friend and PETA's waterfowl specialist Hans Offdemall when he says, "PETA opposes gun violence, so when a 250-pound man hides on the water so that he can blow to pieces one of a bonded pair of 1-pound birds, we think that he should get a taste of his own medicine."

Posted by Amy Elizabeth