Those of you who still need convincing that fish sea kittens are smarter than a 5-year-old should check out today's New York Times. Molecular biologist and geneticist Sean B. Carroll writes about recent studies indicating that fish who inhabit coral reefs can learn to differentiate between targets marked with different designs and colors in order to obtain food. Other studies of coral-reef fish in their natural habitat show that fish are more drawn to "dummies" that closely resemble beneficial "cleaner fish" than to dummies with similar coloring but different markings.

animal-world / CC

If you can stand the cuteness, check out this photo of a teeny-tiny damselfish poking a target marked with an asterisk with his (or her) teeny-tiny nose.

Of course, it comes as no surprise to us here at Sea Kitten Central that fish are smart cookies. Previous studies have shown that fish have long-term memories and can learn to avoid nets by watching what other fish do. "[T]hey are capable of learning quickly," says Dr. Chris Glass, director of marine conservation at the Manomet Center for Conservation Sciences in Massachusetts. Dr. Phil Gee, a psychologist at the University of Plymouth in the U.K., says that fish can even tell what time of day it is: Dr. Gee trained fish to collect food by pressing a lever at specific times.

Still not convinced? You leave me no choice but to unleash … goldfish soccer.

Posted by Alisa Mullins

Starting with Tricky Dick, every president in office has issued proclamations supporting America's "sportsmen and women," i.e. wildlife killers. President Obama recently followed suit by naming September 26 "National Hunting and Fishing Day."

In response, PETA president Ingrid E. Newkirk has asked President Obama to declare a "National Wildlife Amnesty Day" in honor of the 95 percent of us who prefer to shoot wildlife with cameras, not guns. That's right: Only a puny 5 percent of Americans stalk, maim, and slaughter deer, bears, and other animals—and many former fishers have cast their rods aside after learning that fish sea kittens feel pain.

Folks, "wildlife management" and "conservation" are euphemisms used to describe programs that ensure inflated numbers of animals for hunters to harass, maim, and kill. If left alone, animal populations would regulate their own numbers. Those who truly care about wildlife donate money to save habitats—without expecting a dead body as a trophy in return.

I can think of a handful of descriptors for these men, but "conservationists" isn't one of them.

Posted by Karin Bennett

McDonald's billboards boast "Billions [of patties of slaughtered animal bits] Served." But in a recent New York Times article, the restaurant chain tries to downplay the slaughter of millions of hoki, a breed of fish sea kitten, for its restaurants each year.

Why is McCruelty so shy all of a sudden?

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The fast-food giant, which refuses to ease the worst cruelties inflicted on the billions of chickens killed for its restaurants, now finds its Filet-O-Fish Sea Kitten under scrutiny. Hoki, the main ingredient in McDonald's fish sandwich, are dragged (along with other "unintended" victims) from the depths of their ocean homes by huge factory trawlers off the coast of New Zealand. Now alarm bells are ringing as environmentalists realize that hoki populations are dwindling.

Considering McDonald's indifference to the suffering of the factory-farmed animals who are killed for the cheap, unhealthy crap it sells, we suspect that the company won't give a hoot about hoki either.

But there is hope for hoki (and other animals)—if you go vegetarian and join our McCruelty campaign.

Posted by Karin Bennett

Freeda Fish has transformed into Sammy the Sea Kitten.

Lookin' fierce with her new do, Freeda Fish—er, I mean Sammy the Sea Kitten—has hit the road and is handing out plush sea kitten toys across the country to children visiting aquariums. She wants the kiddies (and their parents) to know that sea kittens, like land kittens and puppies, are sensitive, intelligent animals who feel pain and deserve respect—and who definitely shouldn't be cruelly confined to aquariums, violently killed for food, or painfully hooked for "sport."

So far, kids have been eager to embrace Freeda's new persona, but who do you prefer—Freeda Fish or Sammy the Sea Kitten?

Posted by Liz Graffeo

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Caravans of caring Phish phans are sure to put their phins, er, hands together and cheer when they learn that PETA has asked the legendary jam band to change its name to Sea Kittens.

After all, sea kittens are phriends, not phood—they are intelligent beings who have unique personalities, and they feel pain, just as puppies do. People would be outraged if billons of Phidos were dragged out of their homes in massive nets and left to suffocate to death.

I'm crossing my fingers that Phish will agree. Check out these lyrics from the band's live track, "A Song I Heard the Ocean Sing":

(Run away, run away, run away, run)
A song I heard the ocean sing
(Run away, run away, run away, run)
Shining light in darkness deep

Swap "run away" with "swim away" and it appears that Phish is warning sea kittens to escape the fishing trawlers, doesn't it?

Posted by Karin Bennett

Orlando Magic center Dwight "Superman" Howard recently revealed that his favorite movie is Finding Nemo. (Pause for the resounding "aww" as readers imagine this 6' 11" Defensive Player of the Year watching the animal-friendly animated classic.)

sportsillustrated.cnn / CC

While that's great all by itself, Howard has also reportedly said, "Fish are friends." Dwight, we couldn't agree more, and we hope that your kind words will inspire fans and other athletes to realize how awesome sea kittens are.

Maybe Dwight's next step will be to consult John Salley about fish-free cuisine …?

Posted by Christine Doré

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The American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA)—the same group that refuses to denounce the cruel force-feeding of ducks and geese for foie gras or the confinement of mother pigs to metal crates barely larger than their own bodies—have yet again proven that their hearts are as cold as their stethoscopes.

The AVMA plans to team up veterinarians and employees of Pike Place Fish Market for a dead fish sea kitten toss at its upcoming convention in Seattle. The event organizers promise that the event will be "outrageously fun."

Come again?

My gut tells me that the AVMA wouldn't dare try to organize a dead cat toss—so why not show the same consideration for sea kittens? The AVMA is turning a blind eye to the deaths of billions of sea kittens who suffocate on boat decks or are cut open while they are still conscious—all thanks to the cruel fishing industry. And those sea kittens feel pain, just like land kittens do.

Conventiongoers could get a uniquely Seattle experience by spending a few hours at the Experience Music Project and then visiting the Space Needle—a fun and cruelty-free afternoon.

Posted by Karin Bennett

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On Sunday, a group of visitors to Chicago's Shedd Aquarium took part in what can only be described as one of the most morbid lessons in fish appreciation that we've heard of.

After aquarium patrons had had their fill of staring at aquatic animals in glass prisons, they were taken to a back room and taught how to cut up and make raw sushi out of the dead cousins of the fish and crabs they'd just oohed and aahed over.

It's all part of the aquarium's "Right Bite" program, which aims to teach people that they can continue eating fish as long as it's not an "overfished" species. What the program fails to teach its students is that all ocean animals, whether bluefin tuna or Dungeness crabs, feel pain when they are drug up from their watery home in a net and forced to suffocate on the deck of a ship. Did they miss the recent study about crabs?

This institution says it "connects people to the living world," but it actually teaches visitors—including children—that fish are just things: food without feelings. Any way you slice it, that's just plain wrong.

Posted by Karin Bennett

made-in-china / CC

From the category of "Well, duh" comes this story out of Copenhagen: A Danish journalist was found guilty this week of deliberately killing 12 guppies and, logically, of violating animal protection laws.

In an effort to demonstrate the toxicity level of a shampoo, TV host Lisbeth Koelster poured shampoo into an aquarium and, lo and behold, almost all the guppies were poisoned to death.

I'd say that's about as far from protection as you can get.

Of course, the journalist's lawyer argued that the charges were erroneous—I guess sea kittens don't warrant protection? "Fish are killed by suffocation in industrial fisheries and we throw live lobsters into boiling water," he said, "but we don't press charges against fishermen or restaurant owners."

Well! If that doesn't just give us ideas ….

Posted by Amanda Schinke

You may have noticed that PETA has been working hard to give our finned friends a PR boost. Well, it seems that some sea kittens in South Korea may have heard about our campaign and decided to do their own makeover. According to an article in the U.K.'s Telegraph, two female carp in a small pond in Chongju have adapted to look like humans! Check out their distinctive noses, eyes, and lips:

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We already knew that sea kittens have complex social systems, communicate with each other using low-frequency sounds, and use tools just like humans do, but now they even look like us! Cannibalism is generally frowned upon, so do you think this might persuade people to finally stop eating sea kittens, once and for all?

P.S. If this story has inspired you to give up fish for good, try out this recipe for grilled tofu with blackened seasoning. Looks just like grilled fish, tastes a million times better, and I promise it never resembled Mr. Limpet.

Posted by Liz Graffeo

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Not content with the reams of newsprint that have already been dedicated to our Save the Sea Kittens campaign, we're going for a little more face time for our finned friends by asking Lance Bass, the former 'N Sync singer and "Dancing With the Stars" alum, to change his last name from "Bass" to "Sea Kitten." We hope Lance goes for it hook, line, 'N Sync-er. (Badump-bump.)

Yes, we know that "bass" can also refer to a long-necked guitar or a really big violin-like instrument, and it can also refer to a certain shoe company, but when most people hear the word "bass," they might think "large mouth." And while that’s nice on fish … we love you, Lance, and we have your back!

Lance, if you're reading this, please know that it was your friends at PETA who got most upset when judge Len Goodman called you "pigeon-toed." Don't even get us started on the disrespect that pigeons are forced to endure.

And bear in mind that prepubescent girls just love kittens. Can you say, "'N Sync reunion"?

Posted by Alisa Mullins

The design used on the T-shirts that we sent to Principal Morford

While America is cozying up to the idea of the Sea Kitten Revolution, apparently some people at Spearfish High School (aka "Sea Kitten High") are just being grumps about the whole thing. I would think they'd have been honored when we suggested that they change the name of their school from Spearfish to Sea Kitten. I mean, it rolls off the tongue so much nicer, and it doesn't promote the hideous abuse of our lil' underwater friends.

The school's sourpuss attitude went to a whole new level when Spearfish students created T-shirts that poke fun at our request for the name change. Pshaw.

Not ones to back down, we got our creative juices flowing and pumped out some very fine "Save the Sea Kittens" shirts, which we shipped off yesterday to Spearfish Principal Steve Morford, along with a letter urging him to provide them as an alternative to students who are sympathetic to the plight of sea kittens. You can read our full letter here.

While the whole name-change request may be a bit tongue-in-cheek (Did you like the line about how it's better to be tongue-in-cheek than have a hook in the mouth? Someone deserves a raise!), our message that our finned friends deserve compassion is certainly serious.

Haters, if you're reading this, just note that all the proud "carnivores" who poked fun at my vegetarian ways when I was in high school are still living in their parents' basement and have gained about 50 pounds each. Best of luck to you.

Posted by Christine Doré

Yesterday we wrote to Whitefish High School and suggested that it change its name to Sea Kitten High in order to let people know that sea kittens are just as deserving of love as their land-dwelling counterparts. We were so excited to hear back from Jerry House, the Whitefish schools Superintendent. Superintendent House announced that he thinks the change would be a great idea, not just for the high school, but for the whole city!

House suggested that instead of "Sea Kitten," it might be more appropriate to call the city "White Kitten," given Montana's lack of proximity to the ocean. "White Kitten High School, the White Kitten City Council, the White Kitten Fire Department—it has a certain ring to it, don't you think?" We really do think so, Superintendent House, and we love that you can see our point so clearly.

And if you break the law, House warns, "[Y]ou'll be arrested by the White Kitten Police Department, and taken to the White Kitten Jail, where you'll be treated with soft, furry paws and a purr of compassion." Aww … I'm totally moving to Montana.

He even suggested that the new name would bring new business to the town—perhaps the National Federation of Sea Kittens, instead of the outdated National Federation of Fly-Fishers that they're used to? House looks forward to it: "The fur will be flying, and they'll have scratching post exhibits." They'd better get started on that name change, because it looks like they've got some prep work ahead of them. As our new favorite superintendent said, "[W]e're going to have to bring in lots and lots of litter boxes."

Posted by Lianne Turner

It's no secret that sea kittens stay in their schools far longer than humans do. That's why it struck us as odd that Whitefish High School in Montana has failed to stay up to date with the Sea Kitten Revolution. So we wrote to them, tongue-in-cheek (which is better than hook-through-lip), to ask them to consider changing their name to something a tad more sea kitten–friendly. We can see it now: Sea Kitten High School! The coolest school in the whole country.

In his letter, our Dan Shannon included lots of reasons why sea kitten hunting hurts. "We're hoping that this name change will encourage people young and old to start treating these gentle 'kittens of the sea' with respect—and show them the kindness that they deserve."

Because we know that sea kittens are smart, we thought of a few courses that they might like to take at Sea Kitten High—besides marine biology. For instance, some sea kittens are avid gardeners. They'd love a botany class in which they could learn about cultivating their algae patches! And why not give them a choir class to exercise their vocal talents? Some sea kittens sing to their romantic interests.

Any ideas for a sea kitten curriculum?

Posted by Lianne Turner

First there were sea kittens. Now, I give you sea puppies:

Volkswagen's commercial for the new SpaceFox car shows a half-dog, half-fish animal and his loving guardian. We think it's sweet that this "sea puppy" (as I like to call him) is his human's best friend, and it even reminded us a little of our campaign! The sea puppy reminds viewers that fish have personalities, just like dogs—even if they aren't so great at playing fetch. And that's why we are nominating Volkswagen for a Glitterbox Award! Glitterbox Awards are given to companies that portray animals in a positive manner, and we think VW is quite deserving in this case.

We know that dogs and fish both need love, so it's awesome that Volkswagen can encourage the world to think of them as intelligent creatures who can be part of the family—not part of dinner.

Posted by Lianne Turner

I am thrilled to announce the launch of the cutest campaign ever to exist: Save the Sea Kittens! In an effort to get people to think about fish in a whole new way, we decided to change their name for a while. If people had to order "sea kitten sticks" at a restaurant, I guarantee that the world would think a bit differently. Imagine that you open your menu and decide on the salmon—and then this image pops into your head:

Yeah, I think you'd go with a different menu item after that little reminder (might I recommend this dish if you're craving that flavor, as it's delicious and causes none of the cruelty).

It's easy to order and purchase meat when it's wrapped in neat, clean little packages, void of all the blood and pain that goes into creating it. Fish get an especially bad deal. People go fishing (a.k.a. sea kitten hunting) all the time without a care in the world—because fish can't scream and force people to think about the cruelty of their actions.

So we're changing things up a bit now and helping to give fish everywhere a voice. When people realize how fascinating (and adorable) fish can be, they might think twice. I took it a step further and dressed up my own sea kitten (which you can do, too, by clicking here). I'm pleased to introduce you to Ruth, my new swimmy lil' pal:

Isn't she grand? Probably the best sea kitten ever created—but you can try to prove me wrong. Dress up your own sea kitten and leave me a comment to tell me his or her name. We'll have ourselves a little sea kitten party up in here! In our new feature, we've pulled out all the stops. You can read sea kitten bedtime stories, grab your own sea kitten computer décor, and even take action to try and stop sea kitten hunting.

Enjoy!

Posted by Christine Doré