solarnavigator / CC

I just got a load of this scientific report and had to giggle a bit. Are scientists just now discovering that animals can think and plan for the future? According to one scientist quoted in the article, we humans should "keep our egos in check," as animals have been noticed expressing "human abilities," such as recognizing shapes and estimating numbers of objects.

Really, Sherlock? 'Cause Ms. Koko the gorilla speaks fluent sign language and not only still laments the death of her mother 30 years later but also says she plans on teaching her children sign language. And what about Santino, the stone-stockpiling chimpanzee? He definitely makes plans well in advance.

I'm just sayin', these animals make this report look a wee-bit outta date.

Posted by Missy Lane

The annual Glitterbox Awards are PETA’s way of recognizing companies that advertise their products in a way that promotes kindness to animals, and this year’s big winners are General Motors and Georgia-Pacific’s Brawny paper towels for commercials which, respectively, raise awareness about vegetarian diets and protecting the environment, and depict a “man’s man” as someone who humanely removes a spider from the house. You can watch GM’s veg-friendly Chevy ad here. I can’t find the Brawny ad on YouTube, but here’s one from last year where the Brawny man saves a baby bird. Seems like they’ve got a good thing going over at Brawny.

Lest we get overwhelmed by all this positivity, we’ve also handed out two Litterbox Awards to companies that advertise in ways that show a lack of respect for animals or handle animals irresponsibly. CDW hauled in the dubious honor this year for a series of commercials featuring a man and his chimpanzee sidekick. There’s some more info here about the lousy conditions that chimpanzees used by the ad industry have to endure. And the other Litterbox Prize goes to a Singapore Airlines print ad, which shows a man holding a bullhook as he forces an elephant to bow. I’m not going to link to either of these ads, because, well, they suck.

I know, I know. I just used an almost identical subject line last week in the “Shoplifting Seagull” entry, but I couldn’t resist. Just like I couldn’t resist sharing this amazing story about a pigeon who befriended an injured baby monkey at an animal sanctuary in China. Check it out here.

I'm sure the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie is going to be pretty great and all, but do they let you choose how the story ends? I didn't think so. And it probably doesn't even have a talking British monkey in it. Fortunately, PETA has come to the rescue again, and, with the new Pirates movie coming out today, it's just in the nick of time. A few credits first—as Nicole (who did the voice of the Nugget) said she would never speak to me again if I didn't mention her. The rest of the fine voice work was done by Dale, Dan, and yours truly as the monkey. Check it out.