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OK, so we’re not exactly rushing to sign this guy up as the next PETA spokesperson, but he’s certainly got it right about zoos. Joe Francis — the intellectual force behind the Girls Gone Wild series — just got done serving time in prison after a contempt of court citation that occurred during a civil lawsuit brought against him by seven women who were underage when they were filmed for his videos. Apparently, being behind bars has given him a new perspective on the stress and misery of enforced confinement: In an interview with The Sports Junkies (an inexplicably popular DC radio show devoted to professional sports and bathroom humor), Joe said that he will never look at zoos in the same way again, pointing out that “the animals don’t want to be there … it’s unnatural.”

Well, I guess we’ve got something in common, Joe. Actually, two things.

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This little piece of good news comes to you courtesy of my friend (and occasional PETA Files blogger) Joel Bartlett, who spends more time in our local Starbucks than some of the people who work there. (Incidentally, Joel, who is PETA’s Marketing Manager, actually seems to have something of an obsession with coffee-marketing news).

“Loyalty benefits. Starting in mid-April, customers who use registered Starbucks cards in select U.S. and Canadian stores will get several benefits: Starbucks will not charge for any syrups, milk alternatives and other extras added to drinks, no matter how numerous or complex. Senior Vice President Michelle Gass said she isn't concerned that will lead to more expensive, time-consuming orders.”
From: SeattlePI.com

Soy lattes will always be cooler, more fancy, and less pus-filled than the dairy version, but now they’re just as affordable.

And, for those of you still hankering for more good news on the soy latte front, here’s an update on the Dunkin’ situation. I’ll keep you posted.

By this point, the entire world knows that Eliot Spitzer’s call girl was on Girls Gone Wild, but I bet she never did anything quite like this. While I focus my full attention on resisting the urge to make a joke featuring the word “udderly,” please take a moment to enjoy these pictures of Cassandra—star of PETA’s Milk Gone Wild 2: at the Carwash—baring it all for the Spring Break crowd at Miami Beach. She reeled them in with the free soy ice cream and the prosthetic udders (who could possibly resist that combination?), then hit ‘em with the “Milk Sucks” information. According to Cassandra, one photographer was so moved by the Meet Your Milk video that he stuck around to help her pass out leaflets. Well played, young lady. Well played.

PETA’s original Milk Gone Wild video was one of the most successful things we’ve ever done online, reaching a completely new audience with a message about why milk is cruel and unnatural, and totally grossing out literally hundreds of thousands of people in the process.

Soooooooooo, here’s a DIY sequel that we made in the parking lot outside the office one day. It stars my friends Allie, Sarah, Cassandra, Erin, Ryan, Peggy, Joel, Tanner, Caleb, Bob, Chris, and Pulin, whom I will never look at the same way again. Please watch at your own risk.

This Christmas, please, please, please remember to leave soy milk out for Santa Claus instead of cow's milk. With that in mind, here is PETA’s world-famous “Santa’s Not Coming” PSA. Warning: It’s a little bit controversial (by which I mean “hilarious”). As usual, please direct all complaints or concerns about this ad to OMGWTF@peta.org, with the subject line “Please, think of the children!”

Because milk doesn't actually help you lose weight, which makes the ads ("Milk your diet. Lose weight!) just a teensy bit misleading. Here's how it went down, according to The New York Times: The ads, which were overseen by our old friends the USDA (whom you may remember from such hijinx as failing to enforce their animal welfare regulations and having lousy, inadequate regulations in the first place) made claims such as that three servings of dairy products a day can help people stay thin, and featured celebrities such as Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez to help promote those claims. But, two years after the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine petitioned the F.T.C. to argue that the ads were misleading (on the grounds that there's just no substantial scientific evidence for the claim), the Dairy Council has decided to withdraw the ads "until further research provides stronger, more conclusive evidence of an association between dairy consumption and weight loss." Here's what PCRM's president, Dr. Neal Barnard had to say:

“I think people will start to recognize that the dairy industry, which used to have a mom-and-pop image, is a huge commercial entity that will exaggerate to sell its products.”

This isn't the first case of misleading ads from the Dairy Industry. You may remember the "Happy Cows" ads from the California Milk Board, which had the tagline "Great cheese comes from happy cows" and the insidious implication that the living conditions for California's dairy cows made them happy—which is like saying that Abu Ghraib was a five star hotel. Though PETA sued the Milk Board in that case, it was eventually decided that the state is exempt from its own false-advertising laws, so the ads were allowed to stand. I’m not even kidding. As you can imagine, watching the Dairy Industry finally being held accountable for its misleading advertising is immensely satisfying. Let's hope this trend continues.