ninemsn / CC

Word on the street is that our old pal Madonna is getting geared up to adopt an Indian baby to comfort her in her dotage. While the prospect of a fur-flaunting Ciccone clone wreaking havoc on the animal world some years down the line is too dreadful to imagine, we’re taking a more optimistic approach: This kid’s going to need a whole lot of extra energy to put up with mom’s pop star antics, so we’re asking Madonna to give her a head start by adopting not only the child but the child’s country’s preferred way of eating: a healthy, high-energy vegetarian diet. Just one word from Lady Madonna and we’ll dispatch our on-staff chef to London on the Red Eye to give her kitchen staff a crash course in how to prepare mashed peas and carrots and fruit compote for the kid and fabulous vegan fare, including Shepherd’s pie and Eggplant Biryani for the rest of the family.

So whaddaya say, Madge? We’ll even pony up some names for your new animal-friendly progeny that will go well with that whole spiritual, neo-hippie vibe you’ve got going on. I’m thinking something like Chickpea Ciccone. Or how about Ethereal Girl? If anyone else has some suggestions, feel free to weigh in.

This is pretty much apropos of nothing, but I loved this so much that I had to post it. You may remember an entry from a couple of weeks ago about an anti-leather demonstration held by PETA India members in Bangalore. Well, here's the picture of the demo again, and below it is a photo from a slightly wider angle that kinda puts the whole thing in a different light. The point is still the same, of course — the leather industry is hideously cruel, and there are plenty of humane non-animal alternatives to leather — but in this particular case, taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture is more amusing than you might think.

Indian protesters staged a colorful demonstration against the leather industry last month ...

... After a thorough investigation, officials are reportedly still completely confused

Don’t worry if you don’t get that subject line. It’s just a shout out to my homegirl, Anuradha “Slim Shady” Sawhney, who does a hell of a job running PETA India.

The point of this post is really to give props to the whole gang over at PETA India, who just released the incredibly exciting news that the city of Mumbai will no longer allow elephants within its borders. Mumbai's compassionate decision will spare many elephants a lifetime of abuse and neglect, and it sends a powerful message to other towns and cities across the country. You can check out the full story here.

Now PETA India is expanding the campaign to other cities, and they’ve enlisted India’s A-list to help. They just sent this petition, featuring heavy-hitting Indian celebs like Dilip Kuman, Saira Banu, John Abraham, Raveena Tandon, and others, to Chief Ministers across the country, and hopefully we’ll be hearing more on this issue soon.

Way to go PETA India!