Well, Alan Greenspan used the "R" word this week, which means that this country is officially in a recession (just in case anyone hadn't noticed). Fortunately, here at PETA, we have a team of financial analysts, standing by to help people get through those tough times ahead. Here's what they came up with — enjoy, and you can thank us later.

Recession? U.S. house prices continue to fall and food and fuel prices continue to rise, and a recession is upon us. Before you tap into your savings or start draining Junior’s college fund, PETA has tips on how to dispel those recession blues.

1. Reduce…your Grocery Bill and Your Cholesterol on a Vegan Diet. High in fat and cholesterol, meat is also high-priced compared to such versatile vegan foods as beans, rice, millet, vegetables, soy “meat alikes” and pasta. Where burger beef (low grade dead cow) averages $3 per pound, dried beans, lentils and rice are less than $1 a pound. Bonus: you’ll save on hospital bills, cholesterol-reducing medications and plus-size clothing.


2. Replace…your leather, fur and wool, as it wears out, with cheaper, cleaner and kinder natural fibers and synthetics. Tighten your belt by buying pleather accessories and natural fiber clothing that’s easier on your budget and easier to clean. You’ll smile all the way to the bank just knowing that no animals died for your shoes and no ground water was polluted by tannery chemicals. Target and Payless won’t break your bank like that $10,000 snakeskin bag.


3. Refine…your taste in entertainment. Forget cable TV fees and nights at the opera. Study animal behavior: if a cat can have a blast with just a ball of string and a crumpled-up piece of paper, adopt one to keep you company! Don’t pay big bucks for a pet store puppy mill “pure bred” when the animal shelter has a dog or cat waiting there for you. And two can live as cheaply as one! Plus, saving an animal from death row is priceless.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.