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A recent article in USA Today reveals why so many dairy-lovin' adults spend too much time in the loo, cutting the cheese.

According to the article, titled "Sixty Percent of Adults Can't Digest Milk,"

"[P]eople who are lactose intolerant can't digest the main sugar—lactose—found in milk. In normal humans, the enzyme that does so—lactase—stops being produced when the person is between two and five years old. The undigested sugars end up in the colon, where they begin to ferment, producing gas that can cause cramping, bloating, nausea, flatulence and diarrhea."

In other words, Gouda is no good for you and Swiss is a digestive miss.

The article continues,

"Being able to digest milk is so strange that scientists say we shouldn't really call lactose intolerance a disease, because that presumes it's abnormal. Instead, they call it lactase persistence, indicating what's really weird is the ability to continue to drink milk."

It's time for milk-drinking "weirdos" to get off the can and discover the delicious world of dairy alternatives. They are better than cheddar and nicer than ice cream—for human health and for cows and their calves.

Posted by Karin Bennett

So, for several years now, we’ve been running ads, making stickers, and selling T-shirts parodying the well-known “Got Milk?” campaign, with some slightly less flattering slogans that draw attention to the fact that every glass of milk has a little bit of pus in it. We even had a full-fledged campaign for a while called “Got Beer?” which pointed out that beer is actually better for you than milk is, and encouraged people 21 and up to reach for a tasty pint of ale with a hint of hops instead of a glass of cow juice with extra pus. (This campaign was a big hit with college students—not quite so popular with the temperance groups though.)

Anyway, a few days ago we got this nasty letter from a law firm representing the California Milk Processors Board, accusing us of infringing on their trademark with our campaign. Apparently some functionary over at the California Milk Processors Board got his panties all in a bunch about our “Got Pus? Milk Does!” slogan and called in the suits. I’m guessing he was either still bitter over that time when we sued the California dairy industry over the blatant lies inherent in their “Good Milk Comes From Happy Cows” ads, or else feeling a bit ill after reading our site about what goes into milk.

Anyway, it’s pretty clear that they don’t have a leg to stand on, and I’m looking forward to their response once they get the smackdown from PETA’s lawyers. The good news is that this provides us with one more opportunity to talk about just how desperate the dairy industry is to hide the truth about the hideous cruelty, the unhealthy junk, and the vile substances that go into every glass of milk. Better luck next time, guys.

You can read the milk board’s letter to us here.

And you can read the response from our lawyers here.