babble / CC

We just received possibly one of our oddest donation offers to date: George Clooney's sweat, apparently soaked up by a towel taken from a Washington, D.C., gym. I'll give you a moment to take that in.

We must admit that George is a handsome man, so it was hard for me to overcome the temptation to just sit in a corner and fondle the towel until the end of time, but we learned that there is technology that can convert perspiration into a flavoring! Now, we're always looking out for new ways to spice up our tofu, so we decided we'd see about mixing up a little George Clooney–flavored tofu—"CloFu"—for supper. We wrote to Clooney to see if he finds this idea as amusing as I do.

How does this work? Well, it involves gas chromatography and mass spectrometry, but here's one easy way: Researchers have used a panel of trained individuals with sensitive noses to pinpoint unique components in any individual's odor. Once the odors have been identified, the right combination of flavors can be synthetically replicated, infused in bean curd, and voilà! CloFu.

Some people don't try tofu because they expect it to taste bland, but we know it can absorb any taste—so CloFu could make your taste buds and your heart melt. Of course, what's even better is that after everyone gets a piece of George and realizes how delicious tofu truly is, diets will be revolutionized.

Posted by Liz Graffeo

A bit of a slow news day today, folks, except for the fact that George Clooney's pig—Max, the Star—has shuffled off this mortal coil at the ripe old age of 18. "It's strange how animals become part of your family," George told the press. "They really become a big issue with you." George will not be looking for a replacement for Max, the Star, though. As he put it, "I think Max covered all my pig needs." I feel like there's some good stuff that could be said at this juncture about adopting animals from shelters and about not eating bacon, but, I dunno, you probably get the idea. Anyway, RIP George Clooney's pig.

Speaking of Hogs, the Washington Redskins blew a 14-point lead yesterday to lose to the Atlanta Falcons at home, 24-14.

Being a Redskins fan is like being in an abusive relationship—I give them so much love and support, and all I get in return is heartbreak. They can still technically go to the playoffs though, if they win all the rest of their games, so you can be sure that I'll be back next week for more abuse.

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