Today, I sing the praises of the Internet. Not for e-mail—which is handy, yes—but all that Viagra spam irks me. (Hello? It's called "Veggie Viagra"). Or online games (like I need another addiction. The real reason I love the Internet so much is because now my "cosmic justice file" has grown exponentially and now comes with an international flavor.

Let's have a looksie at some of my faves, shall we?

• An exhausted, abused monkey decides he's not gonna take it anymore.
• During this year's Running of the Bulls, the tortured bulls weren't the only ones who lost their lives. (Of course, the bulls still lost in the end. They always do.)
• Karma's a bitch, especially when another inmate delivers some Mike Tyson–style payback after you cut off the ears of your dog.
• Film critics thought Lady in the Water was a stinker, but this fisher "lady" in the water left many fishing critics beaming.
• This white tiger saw red as he mauled a zookeeper to death. Subsequently, so did zoo visitors.
• If this guy would have used our humane bug catcher instead of trying to kill a spider with a lighter, he wouldn't have almost burned down his house.
• Does this tune haunt you? I don't suggest fishing in a shark's waters.
• Lions and tigers and a very angry bear (Oh, my!) must have been fed up with being kept in a cage.
• What rhymes with "possum?" "Awesome," so don't try to shoot 'em.
• The gored matador from this bullfight hopefully learned his lesson and has picked up a more constructive hobby. I hear crocheting is nice.

buzzfeed / CC

Now, tell which of the above is your favorite example of cosmic justice.

Posted by Karin Bennett

Today, I sing the praises of the Internet. Not for e-mail—which is handy, yes—but all that Viagra spam irks me. (Hello? It's called "Veggie Viagra"). Or online games (like I need another addiction. The real reason I love the Internet so much is because now my "cosmic justice file" has grown exponentially and now comes with an international flavor.

Let's have a looksie at some of my faves, shall we?

• An exhausted, abused monkey decides he's not gonna take it anymore.
• During this year's Running of the Bulls, the tortured bulls weren't the only ones who lost their lives. (Of course, the bulls still lost in the end. They always do.)
• Karma's a bitch, especially when another inmate delivers some Mike Tyson–style payback after you cut off the ears of your dog.
• Film critics thought Lady in the Water was a stinker, but this fisher "lady" in the water left many fishing critics beaming.
• This white tiger saw red as he mauled a zookeeper to death. Subsequently, so did zoo visitors.
• If this guy would have used our humane bug catcher instead of trying to kill a spider with a lighter, he wouldn't have almost burned down his house.
• Does this tune haunt you? I don't suggest fishing in a shark's waters.
• Lions and tigers and a very angry bear (Oh, my!) must have been fed up with being kept in a cage.
• What rhymes with "possum?" "Awesome," so don't try to shoot 'em.
• The gored matador from this bullfight hopefully learned his lesson and has picked up a more constructive hobby. I hear crocheting is nice.

buzzfeed / CC

Now, tell which of the above is your favorite example of cosmic justice.

Posted by Karin Bennett

Starting with Tricky Dick, every president in office has issued proclamations supporting America's "sportsmen and women," i.e. wildlife killers. President Obama recently followed suit by naming September 26 "National Hunting and Fishing Day."

In response, PETA president Ingrid E. Newkirk has asked President Obama to declare a "National Wildlife Amnesty Day" in honor of the 95 percent of us who prefer to shoot wildlife with cameras, not guns. That's right: Only a puny 5 percent of Americans stalk, maim, and slaughter deer, bears, and other animals—and many former fishers have cast their rods aside after learning that fish sea kittens feel pain.

Folks, "wildlife management" and "conservation" are euphemisms used to describe programs that ensure inflated numbers of animals for hunters to harass, maim, and kill. If left alone, animal populations would regulate their own numbers. Those who truly care about wildlife donate money to save habitats—without expecting a dead body as a trophy in return.

I can think of a handful of descriptors for these men, but "conservationists" isn't one of them.

Posted by Karin Bennett

guardian.co.uk / CC

Benson, a giant carp and a celebrity of sorts in Britain, has died. Angling fanatics are blaming her death on nuts, and so are we. But we aren't talking about peanuts, cashews, or pistachios—we are blaming the hordes of unhinged humans who hurt her for "fun."

It is estimated that during Benson's lifetime, she was painfully hooked and dragged from her aquatic home more than 60 times—that's right, six-zero—so that anglers could pose for a photo and then fling her back into the water.

Isn't it logical to believe that the pain and stress that she suffered over and over …

(and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over)

… again for anglers' so-called "sport" were contributing factors in her death? Why yes, it is.

As our friends over at PETA Europe told BBC News, "If common sense isn't enough, the science is clear: Being repeatedly impaled with a hook and yanked into an environment in which fish cannot breathe, like Benson [was], undeniably causes distress [and] pain and can lead to infections. Even simply handling or netting fish can abrade their protective coating and lead to death."

I'd say that pretty much sums it up, wouldn't you?

Posted by Karin Bennett

This Sunday is Father's Day, which means that dads who don't know any better may be taking their kids fishing. Anglers run the risk of eating someone's father (or mother) every time they rip a sea kitten out of the water, and that doesn't sound like a very good way to celebrate fatherhood to me.

To help spread the truth about fishing, we sent a former fisher and his giant finned friend to Fort Myers Beach in Florida. Check out the pics, and don't forget to wish your dad a happy Father's Day!

Repentant former angler Bryan Wilson and Sammy the Sea Kitten hit the pier to let people know that fish feel pain and fear just like dogs and cats do.

Sammy made some new friends …

… and issued a warning to his aquatic brethren.

This little animal lover could never eat a sea kitten!

Posted by Lianne Turner

destination360 / CC

Somewhere between the golden cartoon age of Bugs Bunny and the pop-centric youth culture of Hannah Montana, a few television networks thought it would be a grand idea to start airing fishing and hunting shows on Saturday mornings—during that crucial time slot when impressionable children in pajamas slurp soymilk from bowls of cereal and stare wide-eyed at the tube.

Teaching kids that cruelty to animals is acceptable can have a long-lasting and deadly effect. Remember "Son of Sam," Jeffrey Dahmer, and the "Boston Strangler"? These individuals, like most serial killers, each had a history of abusing and killing animals. So, we've sent several network TV stations a letter requesting that they remove hunting and fishing programs from their Saturday morning line-ups, on the basis that those programs glorify violence toward animals and should certainly not be airing at a time when children could stumble upon them.

To paraphrase good ol' Bugs, "What's up with that, Doc?"

Posted by Jennifer Cierlitsky

I am thrilled to announce the launch of the cutest campaign ever to exist: Save the Sea Kittens! In an effort to get people to think about fish in a whole new way, we decided to change their name for a while. If people had to order "sea kitten sticks" at a restaurant, I guarantee that the world would think a bit differently. Imagine that you open your menu and decide on the salmon—and then this image pops into your head:

Yeah, I think you'd go with a different menu item after that little reminder (might I recommend this dish if you're craving that flavor, as it's delicious and causes none of the cruelty).

It's easy to order and purchase meat when it's wrapped in neat, clean little packages, void of all the blood and pain that goes into creating it. Fish get an especially bad deal. People go fishing (a.k.a. sea kitten hunting) all the time without a care in the world—because fish can't scream and force people to think about the cruelty of their actions.

So we're changing things up a bit now and helping to give fish everywhere a voice. When people realize how fascinating (and adorable) fish can be, they might think twice. I took it a step further and dressed up my own sea kitten (which you can do, too, by clicking here). I'm pleased to introduce you to Ruth, my new swimmy lil' pal:

Isn't she grand? Probably the best sea kitten ever created—but you can try to prove me wrong. Dress up your own sea kitten and leave me a comment to tell me his or her name. We'll have ourselves a little sea kitten party up in here! In our new feature, we've pulled out all the stops. You can read sea kitten bedtime stories, grab your own sea kitten computer décor, and even take action to try and stop sea kitten hunting.

Enjoy!

Posted by Christine Doré

Tee hee! Folks in Pensacola, Florida, might soon be in for a quirky PETA surprise! Since Florida is listed as the fishing capital of the country, we deemed it appropriate to kick up a little kerfuffle in the Sunshine State to honor Fish Amnesty Week.

This ad is sure to make male fishers everywhere cross their legs in whiny protest.

So, for the sciencey part … we hear that hunting has been directly (and, let's be honest, hilariously) linked to diminutive male genitalia disorder, an affliction among men with small or misshapen genitals in which pleasure is derived by victimizing unprotected creatures who have no real means of defense or escape. So, what then can be assumed about the shortcomings of fishers? Well, the exaggerated importance of the size of the fish is the first clue. And did someone say something about a big rod? Lastly, we have the act of pulling animals out of their homes and causing them to suffocate, and if they're "lucky enough" to be thrown back, fish are often too weakened by trauma to survive a week. This certainly covers the "perverse enjoyment of cruelty" aspect of the disease.

Posted by Missy Lane

It's official in Switzerland at least, where, under a new federal law, failure to provide any "social" animals contact with others of their own kind will be legally defined as abuse. Better yet, the law requires training for prospective dog guardians and sets some common-sense guidelines regarding living conditions for many other animals, including animals on farms.

Of course, there's still room for improvement. No word yet on how the Swiss are going to square this law with the country's appalling cat-skinning trade, which has largely been ignored by authorities. The new regulations also require anglers to learn how to kill fish humanely. While it's encouraging that they're recognizing that fish are social animals, as a former fishing-contest winner, I know that the chances of finding a "humane" way to violently rip these animals from their environment to suffocate to death isn't bloody likely (though it is likely bloody).

Still, this new law is definitely a step in the right direction. It should be recognized and applauded, even while we keep up our efforts to bring about further reforms. Swiss chard for everyone!

—Jeff

Posted by Jeff Mackey

In case you missed it, the interwebs have been awash with speculation today about this picture, from the White House website, which “appears” to show a nude woman reflected in Vice President Dick C’s sunglasses while he was fishing. The White House is insisting that the reflection is just that of an arm holding a fishing rod, but, using a special enhancement technique, we've been able to pull up the image on the glasses. Of course, we had the advantage, in that we knew exactly what he was looking at — one of PETA’s protestors purposely distracting the Veep to get him to stop fishing and start grinning. Call me crazy, but I’m almost certain that’s the star of PETA’s 2008 State of the Union Undress! Glad to know she's reaching people in high places with her message that fish may not be as cuddly as deer, but they need to be let off the hook. Yes, Dick: Fishing hurts.

Click for a larger image

Twenty-one-year-old Flagstaff resident Rachel Feather knows about making sacrifices—not only does she (apparently voluntarily) live in Flagstaff, but she’s recently given up her own name to help PETA make a point. Heretofore, Ms. Feather will be known as FishingHurts to friends and family, having legally changed her name as a way of starting conversations about how fish experience stress and pain just like chickens, cows, pigs, cats, and dogs, and—conveniently for us—directing people to PETA’s pro-fish website FishingHurts.com.

FishingHurts, who has been vegetarian since she was 13, calls fish the "forgotten animal" and was adamant that her name-change be used to help her finned friends, who tend to get overlooked even by people who are good enough to recognize that land animals deserve our compassion. As FH puts it, "Fish should be respected, not mutilated on hooks or dragged up from the sea. I'll remind people of that every time they say or read my name."

A big thanks to FishingHurts for making what’s honestly a really big change in her life to help draw attention to the horrific practices inherent in the industrialized slaughter of fish. Amazing stuff.

Also, to make up for my gratuitous slander of Flagstaff, Arizona, for the sake of a cheap laugh, here are three fun facts about that fine city—which is already that much more beautiful for numbering compassionate souls like FishingHurts (née Rachel Feather) amongst its citizens:

1.) Flagstaff is the birthplace of singer Michelle Branch, actor Ted Danson, and astronomer Clyde Tombaugh—who discovered the (now ex-) planet Pluto in 1930.

2.) Flagstaff has an annual rainfall of 23 inches and an annual snowfall of 110 inches.

3.) Getting back to the animal-friendly theme here, Flagstaff is home to the confusingly named New Jersey Pizza Company, which serves a delicious assortment of soy cheese pizzas to Arizona’s vegans and soy-cheese enthusiasts.

So yay, Flagstaff. And yay, Rachel FishingHurts. Keep up the great work.

Hunting has been on the decline for years, and CNN just reported that the latest numbers are that it’s down another 10% over the last ten years. Hunting in the water, err, I mean fishing, is also down around 15%. And call me crazy, but I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that while hunting and fishing numbers are steadily on the decline, new federal data shows surging numbers of birdwatchers, wildlife photographers and other wildlife watchers. They increased from 62.8 million in 1996 to 71.1 million in 2006.

Of course, as the numbers of hunters and fishers decline, so does the money in state wildlife agencies’ coffers, since most of their revenue comes from hunting and fishing licenses. And of course hunters and the agencies themselves are quick to go into panic mode, saying that “conservation” will suffer if these agencies don’t receive the money from hunting licenses, when in reality the only “conservation” they actually pay for is breeding more animals for hunters to blast into oblivion. So, perhaps it’s time for a policy shift here. I think it makes much more sense that wild areas be paid for out of regular taxes, since they sustain the earth and they are vital to life itself. It should be free and encouraged to watch birds and appreciate nature, and our state wildlife agencies shouldn’t be begging people to go out and kill animals simply so they can stay in business.

Man, it really is a bad time to be a hunter. First, CNN reports these new declining numbers, then the news that hunting may put men’s hearts at risk.

And perhaps most disturbing is the recently released DMGDRO report on the link between hunting and, how shall I put this … diminutive male genitalia, which, now that I think about it, may explain Dick Cheney’s obsession with playing with really big guns . . .

Cynical-C Blog/Creative Commons

I just saw this Newsweek story about the latest trends in fishing and hunting. To put it in a nutshell, a five year U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service study just reported a sharp decline in the number of Americans participating in fishing and hunting. Interestingly enough, this doesn’t mean that people aren’t spending time in the outdoors (“wildlife watching” is up eight percent). It seems that people are simply choosing to look at animals without killing them a lot more.

MadMegan/Creative Commons

The bottom line? Check out the ending of the piece: “The real lesson of the report is that as a nation we’re gradually finding new, less violent ways to interact with nature. If this keeps up it won’t be long before Elmer Fudd goes after Bugs Bunny with a pair of binoculars.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Salon/Creative Commons

Jim Webb has been getting a lot of mileage out of a Father's Day fishing trip he took over the weekend with his son Jimmy—who's on leave following a tour of duty in Iraq—but it really does seem a bit odd to celebrate someone's return from a war zone by taking them out to do some killing. As PETA President Ingrid Newkirk points out,

"There's nothing 'peaceful' or 'relaxing' about torturing sensitive, intelligent beings. There are plenty of opportunities for fathers and sons to bond that don't involve killing animals."

You can read the letter that Ingrid wrote to Senator Webb this morning here. I'll let you know if we get a response.

Did you hear about the Georgia truck driver who won half of the $390 million lottery jackpot yesterday? I’m not ashamed to admit that I had a couple of tickets myself, but seeing how I’m still slaving away over my computer, you’re correct in assuming that I’m not the one splitting it with him. There’s always Saturday’s drawing I guess . . .

Anyway, apparently the guy’s not sure what he’s going to do with his new fortune, other than “do a lot of fishing.”

So we wrote him this letter, asking him to consider spending his money in ways that don’t hurt animals. You can check out the whole letter here, and I’ll let you know how he responds.