So off we go to the polls today (I went this morning; shazam!)—and we've got a lot of important decisions to make. Not all of us will get the opportunity to take a big step forward for animals, but we can all support the candidate whose platform includes going vegetarian to fight climate change, taxing meat for the environment and health, and eating our way to a smaller ecological footprint.

OK, OK, I wasn't going to spoiler you on this, but I guess I can tell you—it's Chris P. Carrot! He's fantastic. I love him. I almost uploaded my "Chris P. Carrot Girl" music video to YouTube, but I got embarrassed.

I am particularly fond of Chris P. Carrot with hummus. Oh! Yeah, I went there.

So, you may wonder, how exactly does one vote for Chris P. Carrot? Why, by going vegetarian, of course!

Oh, and in case you didn't realize, we're talking about an anthropomorphic vegetable—not any of those candidates you'll see on the voting slips. We're a nonprofit, kids; we don't do that. Similarly, don't bother leaving comments regarding "real" candidates or any political parties—we just have to delete them, and it's super tedious. Leave comments with your favorite Chris P. Carrot accompaniments instead, if you wish. (Baba ghanoush is really good.)

Happy voting!

Posted by Amanda Schinke

You might remember the wildly popular "Road to the Greenhouse" video from earlier this year. Well, it's back and better than ever as Broccoli Obama and Dijon McCain battle it out with a surprise third-party candidate extraordinaire … [spoiler alert] … Chris P. Carrot!

Now, Carrot ran for election back in 2004 but got a lot of flack from haters when his "Eat Me" outburst made headlines, but now he's back—more mature, patriotic, and delicious than ever.

So go ahead this year and Rock the Vote … or, er, Vote or Die … er, um … Go Veg? No, that's not right. Just do yourself a favor and watch our super-funny video!

That's right, our new video is hilarious. We packed it with more jokes than you can fit in Carrot Top's trunks. We're so funny you probably missed half the jokes. To prove your wit, post a comment with how many puns and double entendres you counted in the video. Everyone who gets the right number will win a special prize.*

Posted by Christine Doré

P.S. As a 501(c)(3) organization, PETA does not endorse or oppose any candidate for public office or any political party. That also means we won't allow any comments of that nature, so please save us the trouble and don't mention any candidates or political parties in your comments. Deleting them is tiresome. Ditto if you don't like our video. Keep it to yourself, because we know it's awesome.

*The special prize is to be determined. If you have any suggestions, feel free to post those too.

Happy Super Tuesday, everybody! While the frontrunning presidential candidates square off for this big 24-state battle, let’s take a moment to remember how we got here: Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, it’s Broccoli Obama, Celery Clinton, Mitt Ramen-y, Mike Huckleberry, and Dijon McCain! This version’s nice and short, but you can check out the whole feature at http://www.peta.org/feat/greenhouse/index.asp.

Arizona resident Alice Cooper

I'm never entirely sure whether one should say "a historic day" or "an historic day," but either way, yesterday was effin' historic, thanks in large part to the good people of Arizona, who in the past have brought us Alice Cooper, the 1 and 7 Arizona Cardinals, and cactuses (that's all that I could come up with that Arizona's famous for on short notice—I'm sure they've got more stuff). But the point is that yesterday, by 61 percent of the vote, gestation crates and veal crates were banned in the state! The measure will protect countless pigs and calves from excruciating confinement in these torture devices. This was despite the morally bereft but well-funded ass-hats in the agribusiness industry spending $2.5 million to defeat the proposition.

In the meantime, the consistently popular and well-liked state of Michigan, which is historically responsible for Lake Michigan and Three Men and a Baby's Tom Selleck (OK, sorry, I suck at this), voted overwhelmingly to support the 100-year tradition of protecting mourning doves from target shooting. This is a huge victory for birds and a nice little slap in the face for people who think it's a good idea to frickin' shoot at doves.

Michigan's state bird, the Mourning Dove

So if you know anyone from Arizona or Michigan, be sure to thank them for making such huge strides on behalf of animals, and if you are from AZ or MI yourself, great work! Now see what you can't do about getting some proper celebrities from your states.

Folks, it's Election Day tomorrow, and apparently I'm not allowed to vote just because I'm secretly British and don't have American citizenship. It all seems extremely unfair, being singled out this way. Nonetheless, in the spirit of democracy, here are some important propositions up for the vote that will directly affect the lives of animals, so if you live in any of the following states—regardless of your political proclivities—please think about them when you go to vote. If you don't want to do it for animals, do it for me, since I'm going to be stuck at home desultorily eating pizza and watching the last season of Prison Break while everyone else gets to go out into the brisk November air and wait in line to vote on the country's future.

In Arizona:
Vote YES on Proposition 204—Arizonans for Humane Farms is leading the charge to pass Prop 204, which would ban the intensive confinement of pregnant pigs and veal calves on industrialized factory farms. Prop 204 would prohibit the cruel confinement of baby calves in veal creates and give pregnant pigs enough room to extend their limbs.

In Colorado:
Vote YES on Amendment 38—The Petition Rights Amendment (Amendment 38) seeks to give citizens a more active role in shaping their democracy, which means that animal advocates in Colorado will have more power to use this tool to effect change without having to deal with the petty technicalities and bureaucracy currently used to reject petition signatures.

In Florida:
Vote NO on Amendment 3—Florida is one of 24 states that allows direct democracy by giving citizens access to place legislative measures on the statewide ballot. In the past this has resulted in landmark initiatives on behalf of animals, such as the first-ever ban on intensive confinement in factory farms in this country. Currently, big business interests are hoping to make it more difficult for voters to participate in this kind of direct democracy. If passed, Amendment 3 will significantly inhibit citizens' ability to amend their own state constitution.

In Michigan:
Vote NO on Proposal 3— Up until this year, Michigan had a 100-year tradition of protecting the mourning dove, Michigan's official bird of peace. That tradition is currently in danger, but voters can weigh in on the issue. By voting "no" on Proposal 3, you can ensure that doves are protected by law from being shot at in Michigan.