zazzle / CC

Unlike the animated stars of G-Force, real guinea pigs aren't superheroes at all. If they were, they would immediately vaporize the human monsters who subject them to crude and painful experiments.

Every year, more than 200,000 guinea pigs are abused and killed in cruel experiments—they are forced to breathe tobacco smoke, they are locked in chambers for hours at a time and forced to listen to noises as loud as a jet engine, and pregnant guinea pigs are given alcohol to cause birth defects in their babies. Of course, common sense and human-based research tells us that drinking alcohol while pregnant is a no-no, standing next to an airplane when it's taking off is not so good on the ears, and smoking cigarettes can cause disease in nearly every organ of the body.

Wait until Agent Darwin hears about this!

Posted by Justin Goodman, Research Associate Supervisor

askmen / CC

You had to see this coming. No sooner did A-Rod fess up to taking performance-enhancing drugs in 2003 than we began thinking that the Yankees third baseman should prove that he is committed to being drug-free by—you guessed it—going vegetarian.

"A-Roid" may have voluntarily doped up to enhance his performance, but cows, pigs, turkeys, and chickens are pumped full of growth-promoting drugs in an effort to make them grow fatter faster and to ward off the diseases that are rampant in the cramped, filthy conditions on today's factory farms. Humans, in turn, ingest the drugs when they eat the animals' flesh—no injections required. Therefore, if A-Rod wants to be truly drug-free, then he'll certainly want to listen to our advice.

Posted by Alisa Mullins

This rooster from the property was wearing an ankle tag when he was found.

A collaborative effort involving multiple law-enforcement agencies has resulted in the takedown of what may just be the largest cockfighting ring in U.S. history!

According to information we received from the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), the DEA-led effort was intended to lead to the confiscation of drugs, not chickens. Officials had been working to gather information on the Gulf Cartel, a Mexican drug trafficking organization. They were following the actions of the alleged smugglers when they stumbled upon the cartel's other dirty business: a massive cockfighting ring.

These were the houses in which the roosters were forced to live.

Kill or be killed may be the chosen mantra for drug lords, but for roosters who are imprisoned and forced to fight to the death, it's not a choice. Rather, it is a cruel existence that is nearly always marked by constant injuries and a painful death.

Thanks to the powers that be, though, the suspected cockfighters were caught red-handed (white-powder–handed?). Eleven individuals were arrested near Nashville, Tennessee, for their involvement, and 30 more arrests took place in Texas, Mississippi, Nevada, Kentucky, North Carolina, and Oklahoma. And, best of all, those birds are out of the ring for good.

Posted by Jennifer Cierlitsky

visitsthelens / CC

We all know exactly how disastrous racing can be for the horses who are whipped and drugged for entertainment. Well, the scandal doesn't stop at the Kentucky Derby—it goes all the way up to the Olympics.

That's right—four horses forced to compete in the Olympics have tested positive, and have subsequently been banned, for the drug capsaicin. Capsaicin is banned because, in the words of one article, "it is derived from the chilli pepper and is used for either medication, as a pain-killer, or for its hypersensitizing properties. In both cases a horse might jump better as a result of its use." Of course, when you mask pain and overuse a limb, the repercussions can be bone-shatteringly bad.

The four horses banned were competing in team show jumping. Their riders have also been banned from participating in individual events—and if more horses are found to have been drugged, the Olympic medals may be shifted around. Of course, this wouldn't be the first Olympics where horse-dopers have been stripped of their medals—Germany lost the gold in Athens for the same crime.

People will be shocked to hear of this scandal—and for good reason. If horses are subjected to this kind of mistreatment at the highest level of the "sport," maybe "sport" isn't the right place for these beautiful, sensitive animals. Horses should not be drugged up and run into the ground by greedy people for money or for medals, even if it means abusing animals whose athleticism wins the gold. Oh, and did you see any of the close-ups, with the horses' heads being yanked all the way to their chests and up again, their eyes almost popping out of their heads as they were jerked around? Nice.

Posted by Amanda Schinke

Earlier this morning, PETA sent a letter to Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens (the latest player to face scrutiny in the steroids scandal), urging him to prove that he is committed to being drug-free—by going vegetarian. I’ll leave it for the sports pundits to discuss whether or not Clemens ever deliberately took steroids to help with his pitching, but there's no question that the guy has been ingesting growth-promoting drugs for as long as he’s been a meat-eater. In order to make them grow fatter faster and to ward off the disease in the filthy conditions on today's factory farms, cows, pigs, and chickens are pumped full of growth-promoting hormones, and anyone who eats their flesh will be getting an unhealthy dose of the drugs themselves—no injections from trainers required.

As an aside, I should point out that this is by far the nicest letter that my friend and colleague Dan Shannon—who is an avid Red Sox fan—has ever written to a Yankee. You can check it out here.