Newsflash: Cows on dairy farms aren't happy. In fact, they are quite the opposite.

So how is it that the California Milk Advisory Board (CMAB) can continue to claim that the "best" cheese comes from California's supposedly ecstatic cows?

You know the ads—the one with a handful of free-roaming, robust cows cavorting sassily under a cheerful California sky? Apparently we're expected to believe that all cows used on dairy farms in California look like this …

theinspirationroom / CC

… as opposed to this:

In the past, we've had some choice words on the subject of California's supposedly happy cows. In 2002, PETA filed suit against the CMAB for false advertising—but the California Supreme Court refused to hear the case on the grounds that as a government agency, the CMAB can’t be sued for violating California state advertising laws.*

But we kept fighting the good fight against the CMAB's false advertising with a series of "Unhappy Cow" demonstrations and public service announcements, including a few starring the man himself, animal crusader James Cromwell. And now, on the heels of our most recent undercover investigation inside a dairy farm, the time has come to return to the trenches.

We're filing a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission, calling on it to make the CMAB stop lying to consumers about the way cows on dairy farms are treated. "Happy cow" ads mislead consumers into believing that California dairy cows are pasture raised, free roaming, and grass fed and live in conditions that make them "happy" (i.e., that they are well cared for, content, comfortable, and healthy). In reality, these cows are drugged up, over-milked, and denied even the most basic care. Doesn't sound like a "happy cow" to me.

Posted by Amanda Schinke

*Let's put aside how alarming one might find the idea of a government not subject to regulation.

Oh, South Park. So irreverent, yet poignant! Consider last night's Whale Wars parody, in which Stan takes Captain Paul Watson's place in the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society and steps up the conservationists' campaign in a way only possible through cartoon violence. (Yes, there were explosions.)

Amidst the world's rightful outcry at the injustice of whaling, Stan fights the good fight—protecting whales from senseless slaughter—and along the way finds out the real reason why the Japanese government thinks it's A-OK to attack beloved marine life.

More commentary—with spoilers—after the jump.

The ideal conditions for a "naked" pro-veggie demo include warm weather, a morning show interview with a vegetarian host, hordes of onlookers and media, and volunteers willing to take on—or off—anything to ensure success. Oh, and a super-friendly cop who calls afterwards to say "Thanks!" for putting on a great show.

Those stars aligned for PETA's Amanda Fortino and "naked" volunteers during a stop in San Diego this week.

These are "Grade A" volunteers. They remained so still during the event that some onlookers inched closer to see if they were breathing.

Finish the caption: The photographer in front is wondering _____________.

Our meat trays were a reminder that those neatly wrapped packages of flesh at the supermarket are body parts of cows, pigs, chickens and other animals who suffered terribly on factory farms before they were killed.

Posted by Karin Bennett

This week, PETA's cavorting cow has been urging people in cities across the U.S. to dump dairy from their diets with a not-so-subtle hint.

Why's this heifer in a huff?

Last week, PETA released undercover footage of cows who were kept on a Land O'Lakes supplier's factory farm in pens covered with feces. They were denied veterinary care and even kicked or stabbed with pocket knives when they were too weak to stand.

If dairy foods were deadly for your relatives, you'd want people to ditch it, too, right? Well, dairy foods have been linked to a slew of human health issues, including allergies, obesity, prostate cancer, heart disease, and autism.

Posted by Heather Drennan

Here is a story that answers the question, "What's wrong with supporting 'free-range' farms?"

PETA caseworkers recently worked on a case in New Mexico involving a mother cow who suffered for days after she became stuck in the mud around a watering hole.

The cow was part of a small cattle herd living on a ranch. There was no caretaker residing on the property to watch over the animals. The cow was pregnant when she became stuck in the mud, and she was forced to give birth while she was trapped. Her newborn calf became stuck as well.

PETA contacted local authorities as soon as we were alerted to this cow's plight, but the officials refused to help the cow until they could locate the owners. The decomposing bodies and bones of other cattle around this watering hole were evidence that this was not the first time that the negligent owners had left animals to die. The owners reportedly rent the property as a place to "store" their cattle, and they don't make regular visits to care for them.

Luckily, a concerned individual in the region was able to free the calf from the mud and tend to his suffering mother—who was languishing in the blazing sun and was only able to move her head—while we continued to try to find her the help she needed.

Our calls to state and local authorities finally resulted in action, and the inspectors who were sent out to the farm were quickly able to euthanize the suffering animal.

This is not an isolated case. Animals on farms all over the country face starvation, disease, and exposure to all weather extremes. Farmers often consider these animals to be as disposable as light bulbs. It's not always profitable to monitor and provide specialized care for individual members of herds, and this can result in agonizing and lonely deaths for many animals.

Fortunately, this mother cow and her calf were spared such a fate thanks to the kindness of a caring citizen and PETA's intervention. Please, don't support an industry that treats animals as nothing more than parts on a cheap-meat (dis)assembly line.

Posted by Heather Drennan

Yesterday was a big day for the dairy industry. People across the nation were getting their first peek into what dairy farming actually looks like as media outlets covered PETA's recent, revealing undercover investigation into the putrid living conditions and the abusive treatment of cows on one Land O'Lakes supplier's factory farm. At the same time, PETA was dropping in on the first day of the World Dairy Expo in Madison, Wisconsin.

A couple of passionate ladies were on hand at the Expo to let attendees and passersby know that the dairy industry is dreadful for cows and disgusting for humans. Our undercover investigation revealed that cows at milking stations were caked in feces and urine. It also showed that many of these gentle animals had untreated abscesses that sometimes burst and oozed pus as cows were being milked.

After hearing stories like these, people in Madison were quick to take home copies of our "Vegetarian Starter Kit." Why don't you do the same?

Posted by Shawna Flavell

Today, PETA unveiled footage from our five-month undercover investigation of a filthy factory dairy farm in Pennsylvania that supplies milk to St. Paul–based Land O'Lakes, the largest seller of branded butter in the U.S.

Our investigator documented abuse and neglect of cows and calves at the facility, including that cows who were in terrible pain and resisted standing were electro-shocked and jabbed with the blade of a pocket knife in an effort to force them to move and that sick and injured cows were left to languish—often so weak that they couldn't even get out of their own waste—for days and even weeks without veterinary care. In one case, workers were told to wrap an elastic band around a cow's gangrenous, infected teat in order to "amputate" it. The cow's condition deteriorated for 11 days before she finally died.

It is a violation of Pennsylvania law to neglect animals, deprive sick and injured animals of veterinary care, and deny animals clean and sanitary shelter. Charges against the farm's owners have been approved and filed by a local magisterial district judge. The factory farmers are innocent until proven guilty, of course, but they would face up to 90 days in jail and $750 in fines if convicted.

We have also called on Land O'Lakes to buy milk only from farms that meet our 12-point animal welfare plan, which would prevent much of the suffering we documented at this farm.

For those of you who can't stomach the thought of eating butter after watching that video, take a minute to tell Land O'Lakes to implement our 12-point animal welfare plan. Then check out one of the many vegan butter alternatives that are widely available. My personal favorite is Earth Balance margarine. It's 100 percent vegan and free of trans fat (and pus), and it tastes even better than butter. Best of all, it's also 100 percent free of cruelty to cows and calves.

Posted by Alisa Mullins

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Why the brewbrouhaha about leather trousers? Aside from the cruelty inherent in factory farms and slaughterhouses—where animals are castrated, dehorned, and branded without any anesthetics as well as frequently hoisted, shackled, and butchered while still conscious—the toxic chemicals used to tan leather are dangerous for the both the environment and human health.

Leather-free lederhosen are cheaper, beer-proof, and most importantly, animal-friendly. Let's tap a keg and toast compassion.

Posted by Karin Bennett

*For anyone who thinks that the Bavarian beer lover's tradition looks silly, I have two words for you—beer bong.

You've got the hair. You've got the eyeliner. You've got the guitar. But wait, what's the one thing every real rock star needs? A cruelty-free guitar strap, of course.

For this week's "Win It" Wednesday, we've got you covered. We're giving away one quality guitar strap from the stellar all-vegan company Couch Guitar Straps.

Leather is a co-product—not a byproduct—of the meat and dairy industries. When you buy leather, you contribute directly to the lifelong misery of cows and other animals, and you put money into the pockets of the people who exploit them.

How do you save a cow and gain a vegan guitar strap? Leave a comment about why cows are as cool as your favorite vegan musician. Whoever posts the most rockin' comment gets to choose a strap from Couch Guitar Straps (priced up to $38, including shipping and handling).

The contest ends on October 7, 2009, and we'll choose one comment as the winner on October 9, 2009. Be sure to read our privacy policy and terms and conditions, as you're agreeing to both by commenting.

Good luck!

Posted by Heather Drennan

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Leather is bad for animals and bad for the environment, so there's no excuse to keep wrapping your tootsies in it. And now, newly compassionate NYC consumers who don't have the money for a cruelty-free wardrobe makeover (hint, hint, TLC—that'd be a ratings shoe-in!) can get at least a little help. Anyone who brings in a pair of leather sneakers, pumps, or loafers to the MooShoes store in New York before September 27 will receive a $10 credit toward a pair of snazzy vegan shoes.

MooShoes will donate all the leather shoes it receives to the homeless youth shelter Streetwork Project, making this one cattle drive with a happy ending.

Posted by Heather Drennan

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You may remember that we recently wrote to the Iowa State Fair asking it to refrain from making a Michael Jackson statue out of butter and instead to use Earth Balance, a delicious nondairy spread. We reminded the fair that the King of Pop himself—a vocal supporter of children's health charities—would not appreciate his image being carved out of an unhealthy, fatty spread (not to mention one so detrimental to animals).

Well, the fair officials put it to a vote, and after more than 100,000 votes were counted, about 65 percent of fairgoers had voted against erecting the statue. Looks like we weren't the only ones who thought this was a "bad" idea.

Posted by Christine Doré

Many vegan Wisconsinites cringe at the sight of "Green Bay Cheeseheads"—not to mention their state's standard license plate, which reads, "America's Dairyland," and features an image of a quaint farm.

Caring drivers in Wisconsin deserve a compassionate alternative to "pro-provolone" plates, so PETA wrote a letter to Governor Jim Doyle pointing out that people who are concerned about cruelty on dairy farms should be offered a license plate that reads, "Wisconsin: America's Cow Hell," and comes complete with a realistic image of distressed, sick cows crammed together on a filthy factory farm.

While we wait to hear back from the governor, the Madison-based animal rights organization Alliance for Animals has already produced an "America's Cow Hell" sticker for Wisconsin drivers to place over the existing "America's Dairyland" on their license plates. Visit Alliance for Animals' Web site to order yours today.

Posted by Karin Bennett

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PETA wants to lease the Portsmouth facility (located just across the river from our headquarters in Norfolk) and turn it into a Cow Empathy Museum, which would enlighten visitors about how cows and their calves suffer on dairy farms. The museum would offer interactive displays so that visitors could be hooked up to a milking machine or crammed into a small crate to give them a taste of the dairy industry's routine cruelty to animals. They'd also learn "cowlture" facts—for example, cows form social hierarchies within their herds, and many cows who have been separated from their calves will do anything they can to find their babies.

Once they are done learning about all the reasons that dairy is a downer, visitors could order soy ice cream treats and other tasty vegan foods in the Cow Empathy Restaurant. And everyone 12 years old or younger would receive a plush toy cow with a tag reading, "Cows Are Cool! Dump Dairy!"

Fingers crossed that the laid-off dairy employees will soon be toasting in celebration of their new jobs at the Cow Empathy Museum, with an ice-cold glass of Silk.

Posted by Karin Bennett

In honor of the Year of the Ox, PETA Asia-Pacific's "Go Veg!" cow hit the streets to encourage shoppers to "make it a good year for cows." Welcomed with open arms (and kids jumping on his back), the cow traveled from Taipei to Hong Kong to Manila. He also made a quick pit stop at the U.S. consulate in Hong Kong to welcome Barack Obama into office. Check out photos from some of their recent demos below:

Ringing in the New Year in front of Taipei City Hall, the cow handed out free soy milk to let people know that cows on dairy farms are forcibly impregnated and have their babies torn away from them within days of birth.

In Manila and Hong Kong, he encouraged shoppers to give healthy, humane vegetarian meals a try. On today's factory farms, cows are routinely branded, dehorned and castrated without anesthesia. No cow deserves that kind of abuse, especially in a year dedicated to them. Don't ya think?

Of course, the always-scandalous PETA Asia-Pacific couldn't protest the meat industry without a throwing in a little sex appeal. No blow-up dolls were involved this time, but Sydney's lunchtime crowds got some serious eye candy. Wearing little more than painted-on words mimicking a butcher's diagram, a pair of activists held signs reminding passersby that "all animals have the same parts."

The Year of the Ox sounds a little bit like a year-long birthday party for cows to me, and I can't think of a better gift than to refuse to eat them.

Posted by Liz Graffeo

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I was already aware that cheese is a glob of coagulated goo that comes from cow's udders (complete with all the bovine misery inherent in milk production). Apparently, it's much, much more than that.

I'm horrified to inform you that behind the taste of this slimy, smelly concoction lies stomach lining, pesticides, and pure fat. And if that doesn't sound bad enough, experts say that no cheese would taste quite the same without the thousands of bacteria that are in and on it. And the fat is what gives cheese its flavor! Worse? Many of the bacteria in cheese are unidentified by scientists, and nobody knows what effects they may have. If your dinner plans included mac and cheese, you may wish to reconsider. Personally, I'll be ordering one large pizza, with extra soy cheese. To find the best soy-cheese pizza in your area, check out our Top 10 Vegan-Friendly Pizzerias.

Posted by Liz Graffeo

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Forget Heifer International (I'll tell you why in a minute)—here's the wonderful Animal Rahat, which means "animal relief." Animal Rahat is based in Indian villages that produce bricks and sugar cane and was created (with PETA's help) to provide relief to the working bulls, donkeys, ponies, and horses the impoverished villagers rely on. Animal Rahat has greatly improved the lives of these animals by giving rest to the lame—something the owners could never afford by themselves in their hand-to-mouth existence. Animal Rahat also provides free medical relief to lame, sick, and injured animals. The owners of these animals are often too poor to afford even the most basic nutrients that the animals require to stay strong and healthy—let alone pay for veterinary services.

Animal Rahat has even created a retirement program in which owners are offered a small subsidy to "retire" older animals and allow them to live out the rest of their lives with their human families—rather than send them to hideously cruel slaughterhouses.

With the holidays upon us, kind folks are opening their checkbooks in the spirit of helping others. Please, let's not forget about those hard-pressed working animals who need a day's rest, a poultice for a wound, a bridle that doesn't eat into their faces, and more.

And let's not be fooled by organizations like Heifer International, which send animals to families abroad. This only perpetuates the cruelty to which animals raised for food are subjected—and they always end up slaughtered. And in addition to preventing daily cruelty, it's far more efficient to feed the hungry on a vegetarian diet, as the resources stretch a lot further. After all, it takes 6–16 pounds of grain to produce one pound of meat—and that's a lot of wasted food …

So, why not save a life this holiday season and help these working animals? You know you want to …

Posted by Jennifer Cierlitsky

As if there weren't already enough terror attached to the loathsome leather trade, the notoriously cruel Indian leather industry has now been linked to Islamic terrorists groups. According to a recent article in The Times of India, the illegal cattle-smuggling trade, an integral part of the leather supply chain, has been funding terrorism in India. For years now, money made in this thriving racket has reportedly been funneled to various terrorists, including one of the men convicted of killing American journalist Daniel Pearl in 2002.

It's pretty ironic that a country in which cows are considered sacred is one of the largest leather manufacturers in the world. In fact, Indian law makes it illegal to export cows. To get around this, traffickers force cattle to march hundreds of miles across the country. Marched for days without food or water, cows often collapse from exhaustion or despair, To keep them moving, workers smear the cows' eyes with chili peppers and tobacco and break the cows' tails. By the time the cows are crammed into illegal transport trucks and smuggled across the India-Bangladesh border, many are so sick and injured that they have to be dragged into the slaughterhouse—where their throats are slit while they are still alive.

I say we fight the war on terror by buying pleather and signing this petition to the Ambassador of India.

Posted by Amy Elizabeth

Staying up 'til the wee hours of the morning to catch your fave Olympians go for the gold in Beijing? That's cool. But what's even cooler is the fact that the best athletes in the world can be found in the animal kingdom, not the Olympic Village. If the Summer Olympics were open to all of the planet's species, humans probably wouldn't even have a shot at medaling—especially if they had to compete against these top five animal athletes:

5. Cows. Natural track and field stars, cows have been known to hurdle a 6-foot fence to escape from a slaughterhouse and trot 7 miles to reunite with calves sold at auction.

4. Ants. Known for their Herculean strength, ants can lift 20 times their own body weight. That's the equivalent of a 200-pound weightlifter bench pressing 4,000 pounds!

3. Cheetahs. The fastest land animal, cheetahs can reach speeds of up to 75 miles per hour. Able to accelerate faster than a Ferrari, cheetahs can go from 0 to 68 miles per hour in just 3 seconds.

2. Sharks. Frightfully fast, sharks are excellent swimmers thanks to scales covered with tiny teeth that enable water to flow smoothly over their bodies. Hoping to reduce drag and increase speed, many Olympic swimmers are now sporting swimsuits modeled after shark skin.

1. Chickens. Chickens know how to bend it like Beckham. Give a small round object to a group of chickens, and they'll happily pass it around, much like they're playing soccer.

Yep, chickens. Take that, all you live-animal markets! Speaking of China not exactly giving a cluck about animal protection (see also: fur farms), I say that we honor the true Olympic spirit of friendship and fair play by treating all animals like gold.

Posted by Amy Elizabeth