I just got an email asking why I never posted about PETA's recent Chipotle victory and pointing out that for activists, hearing about these successes can make a huge difference as far as showing that their hard work is paying off and that, slowly but surely, we’re changing both public opinion and the attitudes of large corporations about how animals should be treated. Which, well, fair enough. So this post’s all about good news. Check it:

1. Following negotiations between PETA and Chipotle Mexican Grill, the company has agreed to give purchasing preference to suppliers that use controlled-atmosphere killing, by far the most humane method of slaughter in existence. Here’s what PETA Vice President Bruce Friedrich says about the decision:
   
   

   "While we wish that Chipotle's customers would stick to the great vegetarian items on the menu, the company should be commended for taking steps to improve the dying conditions for some of the animals who are killed for its restaurants."

2. Grocery chain Harris Teeter, which recently adopted an extremely progressive new animal welfare policy after talking with our Corporate Affairs Department, agreed to drop its promotion of the Ringling Bros. Circus after we let the company know about Ringling’s abusive practices.
3. Just hours after PETA posted an action alert about a cruel display planned for the Discovery Science Center in Orange County (they were going to put an elephant inside a giant bubble), the center posted a statement on their site saying they’d cancelled the event.

All this in just the past couple of weeks. Boo ya!

For a little behind-the-scenes info about our Corporate Affairs Department, which has been an integral part of getting a lot of these things done, check out this piece that recently appeared in The Boston Globe.

I’ve got another victory coming your way, but this one’s so big it merits a separate post. Stay tuned!

I just got this email from Debbie Leahy, the director of PETA’s Captive Exotic Animals Department:

Sad news. A dear friend, Delhi, passed away on Tuesday, March 11. Delhi was the first elephant confiscation in U.S. history. After an extensive campaign by PETA, the USDA seized Delhi from Hawthorn Corporation and transferred her to The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee after determining that she was in imminent danger from lack of veterinary care. Delhi had been suffering from abscesses, lesions, osteomyelitis, and severe chemical burns to her feet. She was originally captured in India and acquired by Hawthorn in 1974. At the sanctuary since November 2003, Delhi enjoyed leisurely grazing in the sun, playing with toys, and napping on a shady hillside with the companionship of many other elephants. She was lucky to have kind, nurturing care in her final years.

Sad news indeed. But it’s comforting to reflect that she escaped the horrible fate of most elephants held in captivity for her last years.

We’re just knocking them out of the park at the moment. Literally two hours after posting an alert on our site asking members to contact the American subsidiary of Russian oil-giant Lukoil about their promotion of the Ringling Bros. Circus, the company has made the compassionate decision to cut all ties with the circus due to its history of animal abuse. Or, as they put it in their email to us: "Per our conversation today, we do not have a sponsorship/partnership with Ringling Bros. and are not going to in the future."

Thanks, guys! And thanks to everyone who helped us out by letting Lukoil know what they were getting into.

Archele Hundley is the latest in a long list of brave ex-Ringling Bros. employees to come to PETA with her story about what the folks at the circus get up to when they think no one’s watching. The PSA that she just recorded for us to help expose the circus’s animal abuse is a must-see for any parents who still take their kids to the circus, so please do pass it on if you know any grown-ups with children.

As I mentioned before, we're pretty effing displeased with Denny's restaurants at the moment, since the company has jumped into bed with Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, who, in addition to being documented animal abusers, are seriously among the sleaziest bunch of people anyone could ever hope to do business with (for a little background on that claim, check out this recent article from the Huffington Post).

But yeah. The point is that Denny's needs to find themselves another corporate partnership ASAP, and until they do, we'll be letting them know about it on the daily. Here's a pic from a recent demonstration in New York. Thanks to all the activists who came out!

There aren’t many folks in America who don’t at least know there’s controversy surrounding circuses that use animals. So it always surprises me when a company like Denny’s jumps into bed with the animal abusing freak show that is Ringling Bros. circus. But, it surprised me even more when Denny’s CEO Nelson Marchioli refused to even talk with us about the issue, despite having been provided with an abundance of documentation, including videotapes, government documents, and testimony from former Ringling employees.

We wrote, we called, we called, and we called again, but Mr. Marchioli just wasn’t interested in joining more compassionate companies like General Mills, Burger King, Liz Claiborne, MasterCard, Visa, Ford Motor Company, and Sears, Roebuck and Co., all of whom ended their sponsorships of circuses that use animals. So, we’re proud to launch our new Web site: DeadlyDennys.com. Apparently Marchioli is OK with the beatings, neglect, confinement, and death that go on behind the scenes at Ringling, but I have a feeling his customers and investors won’t take too kindly to Denny’s family-friendly image being associated with such abuse.

So, check out DeadlyDennys.com, and be sure to share it with everyone you know. And oh, here is the link to contact Denny’s directly, to let them know what you think of their support of cruelty.

nytimes/Creative Commons

After years of urging from PETA, the Alaska Zoo just announced that they will be sending Maggie, a 27-year-old African elephant, to the Performing Animal Welfare Society sanctuary in California! Maggie was captured in Zimbabwe in 1981 during a cull, and likely watched as her entire family was slaughtered. She has lived at the Alaska Zoo since 1983, and the last 10 years of captivity for this highly social animal have been solitary, after her only companion, an Asian elephant named Annabelle, died.

It's pretty much a no-brainer that elephants, who roam up to 30 miles a day, don't belong in zoos, and Anchorage, like most northern zoos, is far too cold for an elephant, meaning that she spends many months out of the year locked indoors.

You may remember that Maggie was in the news recently after a failed attempt by the zoo to provide her with a treadmill to give her exercise. Following this incident, and two subsequent collapses by Maggie due to failing health, attitudes from locals and the media changed, and more and more people began calling for her release to a sanctuary.

As PETA Director Debbie Leahy says,

“We applaud the Alaska Zoo for its compassionate decision to move Maggie to a warmer climate where she will be able to socialize with other elephants for the first time in 10 years. By taking action now, the zoo has ensured Maggie's future happiness and probably saved her life.”

The zoo plans to finalize the agreement with PAWS within two weeks, and hopefully she'll be headed to the sanctuary before winter. Congratulations to everyone who worked so hard to make this happen!

PETA has donated $10,000 dollars toward Maggie’s long-term care—we hope she gets well soon.

As lawyers go, Ringling Bros. has some pretty fancy, expensive ones, but despite their best efforts last week, they couldn't keep the circus from being dragged into the courtroom once again, this time on charges of (surprise, surprise) elephant abuse. Judge Emmet Sullivan announced Thursday that a last ditch attempt by Ringling's attorneys to hold up the proceedings was a "waste of a considerable amount of [the court's] time and resources," and that the case, which was brought by a consortium of animal protection groups and a former Ringling Employee, will go forward. The circus stands accused of violating the Endangered Species Act by "abusively training and disciplining elephants with sharp implements such as bullhooks, by intensively confining and chaining the multi-ton animals for prolonged periods, and by forcibly separating baby elephants from their mothers." Given that the ol' Endangered Species Act doesn't look too kindly on those training practices, it sounds like Ringling's going to be in a world of trouble. 'Cuz that's pretty much all they do.

Seriously. If you have a store that could use a kickass elephant display for a few months, tell us where, why, and perhaps we can deliver it to you. It stands about 5½ feet tall when on its base, and about 3 feet wide. Ella weighs 150 lbs and the base an additional 700 pounds. A permit may be needed. She's leaving NY and looking for a home since the circus took away her mom. You can read more about Ella’s story here.

You may remember that there were hearings last month in support of a bill that would have banned the use of cruel bullhooks in the entire state of California. And no bullhooks means less pain and suffering for elephants in circuses or on the sets of commercials or movies, so it is a super important piece of legislation. It was supported not only by PETA, but essentially the entire animal protection community. The only animal advocacy group who sided with the circus industry in opposing the bullhook ban was the American Humane Association (AHA). I wonder if AHA is more concerned about protecting the film industry, and the huge contributions they receive to monitor films, than the animals they are supposed to protect. . . .

Anyway, here’s the letter we sent the AHA’s board of directors asking them wtf is up. The bill is still in committee and can still be called up for a vote, so for the elephants’ sake, here’s hoping the AHA come to their senses and get behind it . . .

Just a quick bit of good news for you to start off your Tuesday: According to last week’s Taipei Times, a new amendment to Taiwan’s Wildlife Conservation Law means that animal circuses are on the way out in Taiwan. When interviewed about the progressive new law, legislator Tien Chiu-Chin said, "Circuses do not need animals to be fun and successful. … Most important, by exposing our children to wild animals through circus acts, we are setting an incorrect example of how humans should interact with animals." 'Nuff said, Tien Chiu-Chin. Here's hoping the U.S. wakes up and follows Taiwan's example. You can read the full story here.

Hope you’re having a good “Be Kind to Animals Week” Thursday. Remember the Hawthorn elephant campaign from a couple of years ago? If not, the short version is that after extensive negotiations over many months, a circus operation called the Hawthorn Corporation agreed to relinquish twelve elephants to a sanctuary, resulting in the single largest elephant rescue in history. If you’re interested, the longer version with more details is here.

My friend and colleague, Debbie Leahy, was a big part of that whole campaign, and she wrote an extremely moving account of the rescue of one of the elephants named Sue. Never one to seek the spotlight, Debbie never shared her story publicly. But as soon as I read it I knew it had to see the light of day, so I asked her to let me post it here. She agreed, and so here we are.

“It was the Wednesday before Christmas, and just as I was drifting off to sleep, I received a late-night phone call. It was Carol Buckley of The Elephant Sanctuary. She had an elephant emergency. Carol explained that Scott Blais and other sanctuary staff members had traveled to the Hawthorn Corporation in Richmond, Illinois, owned by John Cuneo, to assist Cuneo’s veterinarian with drawing blood from the elephants in preparation for their January transport to the sanctuary. Cuneo’s vet sedated Sue, who was considered to be very dangerous, for the blood draw. Sue collapsed on her sternum in a splayed position and was unable to stand up after coming out of sedation. They needed a forklift immediately. I told Carol that I didn’t know of any forklift companies, but then I shook off my grogginess and powered up my computer to help her find one.

By midnight, I had called a dozen different places and left frantic messages asking if they offered emergency forklift rentals. One of the companies had an answering service, and I’m certain that the woman who answered thought that I was a crank caller. She repeated, “You need help with a downed elephant?” I finally located a forklift, and after a series of phone calls, the company agreed to wake up a driver and delivered the forklift to Hawthorn by 3 a.m.

That Thursday at noon, Carol asked if I could go to the Brookfield Zoo, pick up some straps that were designed specifically for elephants, and take them to Hawthorn. The straps filled two large Hefty bags. While I was in transit, the forklift company called me. They wanted to know how the elephant was doing. When I dropped off the straps, I went inside the barn to take a peak at Sue.

I was shocked at the conditions at Hawthorn. The overwhelming stench of feces and urine made it difficult to breathe. Sue’s stall, in which this 8,000-pound animal had been forced to live for years, was approximately the size of a box-stall for a 1,000-pound horse. It was very dark, but I could see that Sue was awake and lying on her side. I thought to myself that after all the elephants were moved out of here, the place should be bulldozed, as nothing would ever remove that stench.

Cuneo kept four elephants in the protected-contact area where Sue went down. Sue was born in 1965 and captured in Asia. She was first transported to Circus Vargas in 1969, when she was still a baby, and she was transferred to Hawthorn in 1995. Sue reportedly almost killed one of Hawthorn’s trainers. Billy was another one of the elephants I met in the protected-contact area at Hawthorn. Billy has lived there since 1971. And then there was Frieda, the elephant Hawthorn acquired from the Clyde Beatty-Cole Bros. Circus after she rampaged twice in 1995, injuring about a dozen people and causing around $20,000 in property damage. The USDA prohibited Hawthorn from putting Frieda back on the road. Nickolaus, the fourth elephant, was born to Ronnie at Hawthorn in 1993 and had grown into a dangerous juvenile bull elephant. Nick’s father, Tunga, died three years after Nick’s birth, when he was just 32.

On Friday, Carol asked that I pick up hoists from an equipment-rental company. One of the company’s employees had used a magic marker to draw a cute little picture of an elephant on the cardboard under each 150-pound hoist. I took another call from staff members at the forklift company, who were hoping for good news on Sue’s progress. I was touched that even strangers expressed concern over the plight of this elephant.

Carol told me that they also needed 30 cases of Pedialyte. That translated into 240 1-liter bottles. No single store had that much Pedialyte in stock, so I went to several drugstores, loading up shopping carts with grape, orange, bubble gum, apple, and unflavored Pedialyte and cleared their shelves of approximately 100 bottles. I decided I would get the rest later. When I arrived at Hawthorn, Sue had been moved to an open area in the barn so that the forklift would have space to maneuver.

Scott pointed out the other elephants while I was there. Hawthorn kept the rest of the elephants on the other side of the barn. They were chained by two legs in what the circus calls a “picket line.” The animals swayed ... and swayed ... and swayed. I could see that Liz, one of the elephants, was petite in comparison to the others. Two elephants toward the front, Minnie and Lottie, were clearly very attached to one another. They stood as close to each other as their chains would allow them and intertwined their trunks. Some of these animals, I learned later, were infected with tuberculosis.

There were several empty places along the picket line where other animals had once stood—a ghostly reminder of all the elephants who have died at Hawthorn over the years, including Hattie, Joyce, Tyke, Maude, Tess, Bombay, Dumbo, Amy, and Jackie. These vacancies caused me to reflect on how differently things could have turned out if the USDA had only moved faster. Why wasn’t Hawthorn shut down immediately in 1994, after Tyke killed her trainer and police shot her to death in Honolulu? Or in 1996, after Hattie and Joyce died of tuberculosis and the other elephants were quarantined? Or after Lota became emaciated as this highly contagious bacterial lung disease ravaged her system? Or after Debbie and Judy rampaged through a church in North Carolina? Or after a trainer was convicted of cruelty to animals in Norfolk? Or after the elephant Delhi was confiscated because she was in imminent danger from lack of veterinary care? Over the years, how could USDA inspectors stand in the same spot that I was standing in, see the same things that I was seeing—filth, neglect, abuse, emaciated elephants, sick elephants, dangerous elephants, neurotic elephants—and just leave those animals there to suffer?

I was glad, at least, that I was able to play a role in finally getting those elephants out of there. The USDA subpoenaed me to testify against Hawthorn after the agency filed charges alleging 47 violations of the federal Animal Welfare Act. Some of my many visits to the circus had provided the agency with evidence of lack of veterinary care—which led to Lota’s being taken off the road—and unsafe handling.

While I was there, Scott gave Sue a banana. She made yummy slurping noises as she ate it. I was amazed that after all she’d been through—including her current life-threatening predicament—she could still find joy in the simple pleasure of a tasty treat.

I wasn’t really surprised when Scott said that there wasn’t enough produce at Hawthorn for the elephants. On Christmas Eve, I fought the crowds of last-minute shoppers in order to buy more Pedialyte and produce for the elephants. I loaded up my station wagon with hundreds of pounds of carrots, apples, bananas, pears, mangoes, watermelon, onions (yes, elephants like onions!), oranges, tangerines, broccoli, cabbage, tomatoes, peanuts, and celery. I left just enough room to see out of the rear view mirror. My four-cylinder engine ran sluggishly under so much weight, but it managed.

On Christmas day, I returned to Hawthorn to deliver the goodies and stayed for several hours to lend a hand. One of the sanctuary’s veterinarians was there monitoring Sue’s blood. She was showing signs of improvement. The sanctuary staff members were working desperately to save Sue’s life. Scott was trying to help her stand up with the forklift, which was attached to straps around her chin, chest, and waist. The forklift gently pushed her forward and lifted her up inches at a time. Then workers adjusted the tension on the straps and pushed the tires that she was leaning on for support closer to her. I’m sure it was all very strange for Sue, but she was patient and understood that everyone was trying to help her. Scott kept rubbing her, patting her, and giving “Suzie Q.,” his nickname for her, soothing words of encouragement.

A couple of times, Sue roared out of frustration with not being able to get her legs to work. The other elephants immediately reacted by vocalizing, squealing, and trumpeting in order to let Sue know that they were there and were concerned over her distress. The other elephants wanted so desperately to be by Sue’s side to comfort her that they strained against their chains. Nickolaus, who was watching Sue’s dilemma from just a few feet away, hurled himself against the bars of the cage, which made a frightening noise that made me jump each time he did it.

The sanctuary staff members made sure that Sue had as much food and drink as she wanted. They would open a bottle of Pedialyte, pour it into a bucket, and push it close to Sue’s trunk. Sue would then dip her trunk into the bucket, suck up the liquid, and squirt it into her mouth. Sue loved the orange flavor but didn’t care for the bubble gum flavor. Instead of squirting the bubble-gum flavored Pedialyte into her mouth, she sprayed it onto her back, drenching Scott a few times. I scrambled to pull all the orange flavored bottles from the dozens of bags piled against the wall. Staff members also sliced up a watermelon and other fresh produce for Sue, who eagerly took each piece with her trunk, placed it in her mouth, gobbled it up, and stretched out her trunk for more.

Sue was lucid, and her appetite was strong. She was a spirited elephant, and she was clearly a survivor, having lived for so long in such horrible conditions. Over the next few days, we kept up hope that she would make it. Carol reported that Sue rallied a few times, trying to get on her feet. Scott provided a pool filled with warm water to help her. Scott and other staff members gently eased Sue into the pool and pumped in warm water. Immediately, Sue became energized, and she began to play. After splashing the water with her trunk in joyful abandon, Sue became still and passed away. All the other elephants—even Nick, who had become so loud and animated when Sue struggled in vain to get to her feet—fell completely silent. They knew that their longtime companion was leaving them.

I had company visiting when Carol called on December 30 with the sad news. I didn’t care that I had visitors—I wept. It’s terribly unfair that Sue wasn’t given the opportunity to enjoy a new life at the sanctuary. But at least she knew comfort, tenderness, and dignity in her final days.”

There are a million other animals like Sue who need our help, so please, never patronize any circus or other act that uses animals. And please, share Sue’s story with others to make sure they don’t either.

Dulary arrives at the sanctuary

Some great elephant news on two fronts for you today, as two famous elephants have found new places to live. The first, an elephant named Dulary from the Philadelphia Zoo, has been released to a sanctuary to spend the rest of her life following the zoo's decision to close down its elephant exhibit for good. It's amazing to me to think that before I got involved in animal rights, it never even occurred to me that there was something monumentally screwed up about keeping elephants (who walk up to 30 miles a day in the wild) in tiny enclosures in places like Philadelphia for people to gawk at. Anyway, awesome work The Philadelphia Zoo for figuring that out too. You can read the full story here.

Ella PhantzPeril

The second elephant to find a home is a beautiful little anti-circus sculpture who goes by the name of "Ella PhantzPeril" (yeah, I know. Kill me.) Ella, a shackled, weeping pachyderm who wears a sign that reads, "Shackles, Bullhooks, Loneliness — All Under the Big Top" has been the subject of a few legal troubles over the past few years, even getting the ACLU involved when DC balked at displaying her as part of a citywide exhibit of elephant and donkey sculptures. Now, after a whole lot of back and forth with the New York City Parks Department, the New York Post has reported that the city has finally agreed to allow her a spot in Union Square Park this summer. So take that, circuses.

With hundreds of people standing in line waiting for tickets last week, the Lewis and Clark Old-fashioned Circus just folded up its tents and slinked off into the night. (OK, whatever—it was daytime, and circuses probably can't slink exactly, but I need a bit of creative license here.) The reason for all the drama was that York City Manager Trey Eubanks had decided at an emergency meeting with city leaders that the circus had failed to meet safety guidelines and that three caged tigers used by the circus posed a danger to York citizens. You can read our letter thanking the city here. While it admittedly may have sucked a little for everyone waiting in line to go see the circus, it's awesome to see a city recognizing the dangers—not to mention the brutality—of animal circuses and booting them out of town. Nice work, York!

Here’s a great story about a group of kids in Longmont, CO, protesting the circus there. The kicker: The circus boss got arrested for making lewd comments to the female protesters. Sounds like a classy guy . . .

The protesters kept their composure and gave a great interview to the paper, including this solid quote: “In this day and age, you’d think we’re past where we need animals to do stupid tricks to entertain us.” As one of the activists pointed out, the arrest of the circus manager was not a little ironic, given that the deputies were called out to the fairgrounds in the first place because of the protest.

Anyway, I got a kick out of that. Just more evidence that the abusive, foul-mouthed circus managers ought to be enough to scare most people away ... even if those freaky-ass clowns don't do the trick.

drinkstuff.com/Creative Commons

allstarz.hollywood.com/Creative Commons

Just a quick little tidbit for you, because this was just too good to leave unremarked: Did anyone catch David Letterman's comments about Ringling coming to Madison Square Garden on his show last night?

"Ringling Brothers circus is coming back to Madison Square Garden. How about that? What they do, they bring the elephants right through the tunnel in midtown. … And New Yorkers don't care about elephants. Honest to god, we have rats bigger than that. I love going to the circus: what is more American than eating cotton candy and watching animal abuse? Am I right?"

You rule, Dave.

Remember Steve-O’s anti-circus video? I thought it was about the coolest thing ever, on account of the fact that the dude can walk down stairs on his hands. (He also said some pretty good stuff against the circus, incidentally.) Anyway, I’ve been hearing all these rumors about a new ad he was going to shoot for us, and I just found out that it was shot this past weekend.

It won’t be released for a few months, so I can’t tell you too much about it, but what I can tell you is that in true Steve-O style, there will be PG, X, and XXX rated versions, and that Tommy Lee will most definitely be proud.

Here’s a pic from the shoot, with everyone’s favorite porn star Ron Jeremy, who just happened to stop by Steve-O’s place during the shoot. The little hottie with them is my pal Michelle, who works in PETA’s LA office. If Michelle’s parents are reading this, I just want you to know that Steve-O gave her a glowing review and reported that she is not only amazingly professional but also, totally smart and awesome and stuff.

And just because its so frickin' cool, here’s the spay/neuter ad Ron did a while back.

I spent yesterday morning handing out leaflets outside the Ringling Bros. Circus, which is having its last desultory gasp in Norfolk this weekend before it bullies the elephants and other animals back into cramped boxcars and chains them up for the trip to whatever city it's going to inflict its weird, sadistic little show on next week. There are a lot of cities that give Ringling a really hard time when it comes to town, as activists all round the country rally round to get the word out about the circus's long history of animal abuse, safety violations, and the occasional child pornography scandal for good measure, but I'm fairly sure they dread the Norfolk shows more than any other stop on the tour, as the whole office takes a field trip to opening night, along with a bunch of local activists, to make sure that everyone attending the circus gets the elephants' side of the story as well. Apart from the inevitable middle finger or two, most people are really cool about it and grateful for the information—we always hear stories from people who have thrown away their tickets or vowed never to take their kids to an animal circus again. This year some prospective circusgoers even promised to come out leafleting with us on the weekend, which, well, you can't ask for more than that. Anyway, here's a video.

Check this ish out—this piece in our local paper brought a smile to my face today, since all of us here at PETA are gonna be out in the freezing cold tomorrow night protesting opening night of the Ringling Bros. Circus.

And they included this beautiful photo of some local kids at an anti-Ringling demonstration. Love it.

CREDIT: Leona Baker

We held a big press conference in our offices on Tuesday to discuss the allegations of two former Ringling employees, who recently contacted us to tell us about their firsthand experience of the circus's abusive treatment of animals. Both employees, who worked on the animal crew, told us they witnessed routine abuse behind the scenes, including a violent beating of an elephant which lasted 30 minutes. It was really nice to see some members of the media show up to hear about this breaking news—sad as it sounds, normally with this sort of thing we have to take all our clothes off (or at least show a little leg) to get some attention. But this is a great sign that people around the country are really starting to come round to the idea that animal circuses need to go the way of bear-baiting and cockfighting (there are only two states left that are still being ass-backwards about cockfighting) as something that was probably a really lousy idea in the first place.

Other Viewing Options

The first time I saw Steven Glover, more commonly known as Steve-O, was in the opening credits of Jackass: The Movie. Steve-O and about eight of his best friends had all climbed into a shopping cart and pushed off from the top of a massive hill to see how long it would take before they smashed into a wall, flying onto the concrete and sustaining various potentially career-ending injuries. I would never have dreamed that it was possible for Steve-O to do something even awesomer than that—until the other week when he sat down with those wild, fun-loving hipsters in PETA's youth division, peta2, to talk about his experience at Ringling's clown college, and his thoughts about the circus's treatment of animals. Yes, I know "awesomer" isn't a word, but if anything merits it, this interview does. Definitely check it out if you haven’t seen it yet.

So a little while back, we had this brilliant idea for a web feature, which was going to be called "PETA’s Top 10 Reasons to Go to Ringling Circus." The idea was that it would secretly be, like, 10 reasons not to go, except cleverly disguised in a different format. Or something. I don't remember exactly—but I do remember that the meeting where we discussed it was really fun, and people were laughing a lot. Unfortunately, once the hilarity had died down and we actually wro