signonsandiego / CC

Unless you're a die-hard Britney Spears fan and regular visitor to her Web site, you heard it here first: The top-secret stage design plans for Britney's upcoming "Circus" tour will include no live animals.

That's right, folks, in an "EXCLUSIVE: STAGE DESIGN ANNOUNCEMENT" (seriously, that's what it's called, all caps and everything), Britney's tour designer had the following to say:

"We've taken the idea of a traditional 'big-top circus' and given it a Britney Spears twist. This circus is unlike anything you've ever seen before. It's sexy, fun, explosive, and full of surprises. … While avoiding such traditional circus elements as live animals, we've created something innovative and exciting using contortionists, dancers, lighting, fire, and other special effects." [emphasis added]

Omigaw! If I were 12, I would so be there.

You may remember that Britney ran into trouble with PETA a couple of months ago when we learned that she had used elephants and lions in her "Circus" video. We shot her a letter asking her to leave animals out of her Circus tour and—lo and behold—our wish has been granted.

Posted by Alisa Mullins

hollywoodtoday / CC

Sadly, I still remember the first time I heard Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time." I was in the eighth grade and TRL was still wildly cool. My skinny, stirrup-tights-wearing, headgear sportin' 13 year-old self just couldn't get enough of the song. I remember thinking we had found a true pop princess.

But man, how quickly America's sweetheart fell from grace. And it wasn't pretty.

Now, at the bottom of the barrel, she's sporting elephants dressed in circus attire for her new video titled—what else—"Circus."

As Britney is such a victim of the paparazzi and always complaining and crying about how she hates to be held up in her guarded house and can't feel free, she of all people should be able to relate to the horror that captive animals go through when they're used for entertainment. Except Britney chooses to perform, and the lifestyle just comes with it. Animals are ripped away from their mothers at a young age, kept in chains, and prodded with electric shock devices to make them perform. That doesn't sound so voluntary to me.

Britney is now just an "outrageous" and "toxic" mess. I certainly don't want her to "gimme more," and neither do the animals who have been abused so that she can feel "lucky."

Well, we're not takin' this sitting down. We've got a killer action alert ready for those of you who want to fight with us and tell Brit to stop using animals in her acts, once and for all. Click here to take action today.

I must confess that I still believe she can turn herself around.

Posted by Christine Doré

Britney Spears Playing a Receptionist on How I Met Your Mother
Boston.com / CC

I haven’t always been as nice as I could be to Britney Spears over the past year or so, but if she pays attention to PETA’s latest attempt to reach out, I’ll have to change my tune in a hurry. Impressed by Britney’s performance as a receptionist on How I Met Your Mother last week, PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote to her on Friday to offer her a job. The hope is that a bit of time in the PETA offices will help her to change her mind about wearing fur and buying dogs from pet stores. MSNBC covered the story this morning, and you can read Ingrid’s letter below.

March 27, 2008

Britney Spears
[address redacted]

Dear Britney,

After seeing your excellent performance on How I Met Your Mother, PETA would like to offer you a real job as a receptionist. It could be for as little as an hour, and you would see—from the inside—why we are so concerned about issues like fur and homeless dogs and cats. As a "thank you" for your willingness to learn and help, we would donate $1,000 to a children's charity.

As PETA's "virtual receptionist," you will see firsthand the problems that we deal with every day. You would be able help the cats and dogs who linger in animal shelters because people have chosen to buy animals from breeders or pet stores. You will also personally respond to calls about our Animal Birth Control (ABC) campaign, which provides no- to low-cost spay/neuter surgeries and other services in underprivileged communities. You will explain to callers that every time someone buys a dog or cat from a breeder or a pet store instead of adopting from an animal shelter, a shelter animal loses a chance at ever finding a home. You will explain how 6 to 8 million unwanted dogs and cats enter U.S. animal shelters every year and how most will die simply because there are not enough good homes for them.

You would also tell people about the misery that foxes, chinchillas, and other animals suffer on fur farms and explain how mother animals caught in traps are so desperate to return to their young that they will often chew off a limb to escape. You will tell callers about the number of animals killed to make one fur coat and how these animals—like us—would prefer to love and enjoy life rather than be strangled, poisoned, or electrocuted. And you will never be the same again.

We might have criticized you in the past for contributing to the dog overpopulation crisis and wearing real fur, but perhaps now that your own crisis has abated, a new day calls for a new relationship, a new outlook, and a new understanding.

We wish you well and look forward to a positive response.

Very truly yours,

Ingrid E. Newkirk
President

For this year's Worst-Dressed competition (in which PETA calls out the very worst offenders among fur-wearing celebrities) we're doing things a little bit differently, and allowing the world to vote on who they think should make the list. Polls opened today, and Kate Moss and Britney Spears have jumped into an early lead—but in the fast-paced world of celeb gossip, all it takes is Cindy Crawford crawling out of her cave in a family of raccoons, or Sharon Stone flaunting her beaver in public again, and the whole face of the competition could change.

Remember, this isn't just about who's the ugliest (otherwise we'd just hand the prize to Kid Rock and move on) or the most brainless—this one's about which celebrity has been the most callous, heartless, unapologetic proponent of the horrific fur industry this year. So cast your vote now, and help us decide which cruel celebs have the most need of being publicly singled out and embarrassed in early February.

I should point out here that while I don't personally have any qualms about calling people out for promoting an industry that skins animals alive, there's a lot more to this list than that: You may remember that after last year's list was released, Christina Ricci publicly renounced fur and promised never to wear it again. And one previous winner, Martha Stewart, later went on to narrate an anti-fur video for us. We're extremely grateful to both of them, and hopefully this year's winners will be similarly inspired to change their minds.

So join the fun and cast your vote here. Not to unduly influence the competition or anything, but my own vote will be going to Philadelphia Eagles linebacker Takeo Spikes. Anyone who has the poor taste to play for a hated Washington Redskins rival and wear fur in his spare time deserves whatever's coming to him.

Britney snapped with her latest "accessory"

A couple of weeks ago, I made a solemn vow not to waste people's time with more news about Britney Spears' trainwreck of a life. So much for solemn vows, I guess. Seems like everyone's favorite walking disaster has added a new fur to her collection, though unlike her previous forays into buying animal accessories, her latest acquisition is still alive, for the time being. According to People magazine, our Brit wandered into a Bel Air pet store last week and bought herself a Yorkshire terrier on a whim for $3,000. Apart from the lousy example her choice to buy instead of adopt sets for all five of her remaining fans, her track record of abandoning puppies whenever she gets tired of them—not to mention her propensity for dropping babies and, I don't know, shaving her head and checking herself into the psych ward—don't exactly make her the ideal candidate for responsible pet ownership. Or, as PETA VP Dan Mathews puts it,

"Britney needs a new puppy about as much as Lindsay Lohan needs a drink. She can barely look after herself and her kids, and she's tossed away so many dogs before. The only dog Britney is responsible enough to care for is a stuffed toy."

Spears, who was awarded the title of World's Worst Celebrity Dog Owner in 2006 by The Hollywood Dog Magazine, has already been photographed carrying her new Yorkie like a handbag, and spotted bringing the unfortunate animal to an L.A. night club, which is about as suitable a place for a puppy as it is for a recovering alcoholic mother of two.

MSNBC covered the story, and you can read that here.