latimes/Creative Commons

When the Royal College of Psychiatrists in the U.K. studied the relationship between mental disorders and eating meat and dairy products, they found that "a higher national dietary intake of … dairy products predicted a worse two-year outcome of schizophrenia." It’s a testament to the wildly varied interests of the folks in our Vegan Department that this was the very first thought that popped into their minds while they were skimming through the latest tabloid gossip about Britney’s exploits in the psych ward (she’s apparently been asking for ice cream). But that’s what happened, and that’s how this friendly letter to Brit’s parents was born. The letter suggests putting the suffering star on a vegan diet to help her get her emotional and physical health back to a place where it won’t be daily fodder for Perez and The Superficial. TMZ covered the story yesterday, and I’ll let you know if we hear back from James and Lynne Spears.

Britney in Furs

You know, maybe there is something to all this "Leave Britney alone" hoopla. Given her recent trip to the psych ward, it's becoming more and more clear that she's not entirely accountable for her actions—and that includes her poor fashion choices just as much as it does her bad parenting decisions.

With that in mind, we've decided to give Britney a bit of a break this year, and take her off the Worst-Dressed-List poll, despite the fact that she had established herself as a strong front-runner in the first two days of voting. Here's what PETA Vice President Dan Mathews had to say about the decision:

"People with l'il kids shouldn't dress like L'il Kim. But at this point, Britney needs a break—from everybody. Maybe when her head is clear, she'll have a change of heart about wearing fur. If not, we'll be back biting at her heels."

So there you have it, but the question is, did we make the right choice in giving Brit a break this year despite her unfortunate penchant for, um, flaunting her fur in public? Please feel free to comment with your thoughts.

I think I may have mentioned before how unhappy it makes me when brain-dead celebrities buy puppies from pet stores and drag them around until they get tired of them. Well, following an investigation which indicated that Britney’s favorite Hollywood hellhole, Pets of Bel Air, may have been getting its animals from puppy mills and operating without a license, the place was shut down yesterday! I have to say, I don’t have the highest of hopes that ol’ Brit is going to be able to figure out the ethical implications of this little piece of news all by herself, but it sure as hell sends a great message to anyone who’s considering buying an animal from a pet store instead of adopting. Check out the full story here.

When historians finally compile the collected correspondence of Ingrid Newkirk, Britney Spears, and Kevin Federline into a bound, faux-leather 3-volume set, this one's going to be one of the highlights, in my humble opinion. Yesterday, PETA's president faxed the following missive to K-Fed asking him to please remember that Britney's unlimited capacity for neglect extends to canines too.

As I may have mentioned before, Britney has an extremely unpleasant habit of stopping by the pet store on the way back from the wigmaker's (or wherever it is she spends her time these days) to pick up new puppies, drag them around until she gets sick of them, and then abandon them. Well, since she hasn't exactly been taking good care of her children either, we think it's only reasonable that she let them bring their companion animals along when they go to K-Fed. You can read Ingrid's letter below.

msnbc/Creative Commons

October 4, 2007

To: Kevin Federline, c/o Nina Nisenholtz, N2N Entertainment
From: Ingrid E. Newkirk, PETA

Dear Mr. Federline:

We know that this is a particularly difficult time for you and your children. We are writing to you today to urge you to amend your filing with the court to also seek consideration for your children's bond with the companion animals they have come to know and to request that the judge also grant you custody of these animals.

It is no secret that Ms. Spears' impetuous "pet" purchases and lack of caretaking skills have been a serious concern of ours, in addition to being a source of public criticism. In 2006, Ms. Spears was "the overwhelming choice" for worst celebrity dog owner in a poll conducted by The New York Dog and The Hollywood Dog magazines. This past summer, Ms. Spears bought a Yorkshire terrier puppy from a pet store on impulse, only to casually tote the pup-London-around like an accessory. In recent weeks, the Los Angeles SPCA has investigated reports of Ms. Spears' failure to provide adequate veterinary care for the tiny dog after he apparently suffered a fractured leg after being stepped on.

As a father, your main concern is the comfort and stability of your children. London and the other animals whom the boys consider to be a part of the family have provided that comfort and stability. The companionship of beloved companion animals can make a world of difference for the boys during this difficult time, and being separated from the animal friends whom they share a bond with is undoubtedly traumatic for them.

For the sake of your children and the animals who are at risk while in Ms. Spears' custody, we hope that you will do the right and best thing for all involved and pursue a custody order for the animals so that your sons can continue to have the company of the animals they've grown to adore. If you have any other thoughts, we stand ready to assist you in placing the animals in a loving environment.

Sincerely,

Ingrid E. Newkirk

President

Yesterday in Los Angeles, Paris and Britney look-a-likes took to the streets to lead a hilarious protest against pet stores and breeders at the site of our new ABC (Animal Birth Control) billboard. Obviously, this protest was meant to be lighthearted and fun, but the issue is deadly serious for the animals involved. For every dog or cat purchased from a breeder or a pet store, another dog or cat on death row at an animal shelter must be killed. Here’s what PETA’s Director of Domestic Animal Issues had to say about it all, “Forget jail or rehab; these selfish stars should do a stint in an animal shelter, where they would witness the plight of dogs who end up there after being bought on an impulse."

Dailystab/Creative Commons

Sometimes, there's more going on in the gossip columns of People and other celebrity-focused magazines than you might think. Most recently, there's been plenty of chatter about Britney Spears and Paris Hilton's new puppies, which completely glosses over what, to me, is the main angle for the story: That by buying animals from a pet store (and, as they have in the past, discarding them as soon as they get distracted by some pretty shiny thing), they may just as well be killing animals in a pound. It's a simple equation—though I can't say I have all that much faith in either of those girls' ability to perform basic math: Getting a dog from a pet store means the breeders breed more, while the shelter animals keep dying to make room for all the cast-offs. Here's what PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote to the girls, and you can read TMZ's take on the story here.

Dear Paris and Britney,

So, you have popped into a pet store to pick up some more doggie arm candy. Your impulse purchases of dogs encourage others to follow suit, no matter how ill-equipped they are to provide a decade or more of care for a little dog who has feelings and needs and who requires patience, veterinary care, and stimulation other than nightclub music and bar laughter. Also, for every pet store puppy purchased, a pound puppy dies (and a breeder -- probably somewhere in Arkansas or Missouri -- is rewarded for adding yet another litter to the pet overpopulation crisis). A California bill that would have required most dogs and cats to be spayed or neutered-and therefore would have helped reduce the taxpayer burden for disposing of (killing) homeless animals-was recently defeated by greedy breeders. Perhaps you and other vacuous stars need to tattoo "Don't buy while pound pups die" on your foreheads to remind each other of that home truth.

Very truly yours,

Ingrid E. Newkirk, President
PETA

X17/Creative Commons

Generally, I would rather write about the paint drying outside our office than add another chapter to the increasingly tedious melodrama that is Britney Spears' biography, but when she does something stupid and irresponsible that involves animals (which is pretty much every time I check nowadays), I feel like I have to report on it. The latest on our Britney—pictured here with a stupid hat and a family of dead rabbits draped over her shoulders—is that she was spotted at a PETCO in Hollywood buying a caged parakeet to go with her prized collection of neglected children.

I totally understand that it must suck to be 25 years old and have the best years of your life well behind you, and I do realize she probably gets lonely at home between her stints in rehab, but somehow I just don’t think Britney Spears should be responsible for the care of another living thing. Seems to me she’s got enough on her plate just getting herself out of bed in the morning . . .

Britneyspearswatch/Creative Commons

Maybe Britney should stick to her trademark crotch shots, because her new post-rehab look definitely isn’t working for her. Unless of course she’s actually going for the whole "street walker" look, in which case she nailed it. I’m referring to this pic from an article talking about her supposed “comeback”:

I realize the girl has had it rough and the whole teen star aftermath meltdown was inevitable, but now that she’s got a couple of husbands and a stint in rehab behind her, one would think she’d get over her desperate need for attention and ditch the furs. Anyway, if you’d like to send her some inspirational thoughts to help her get over her current fur addiction, you can do that here (click on the star).

And of course, if the furs are fake Britney, I totally take back the whole “street walker” thing. I was just joshing with ya.