nj / CC

If you're a New Yorker, you've definitely heard about the fare hikes and service cuts that the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) just approved in their 2009 budget. You may have also heard about the man arrested for attempting to mimic the Bush shoe-throwing incident with MTA chief Elliot Sander as a target. People aren't happy about the changes, and that's why PETA is ready to step in and offer our services—no shoes necessary! We propose that the MTA begin advertising over the loudspeakers between subway stops, and we'll even be the first customers. PETA's ads would feature the voices of pro-vegetarian advocates Casey Affleck, Kevin Nealon, and Forrest Whitaker.

Listen to the three PSA's now:
Forest Whitaker
Casey Affleck
Kevin Nealon

Casey Affleck's testimonial on why he's a vegetarian would be the perfect way to increase revenue for the MTA! I know I'd like to hear the voice of a sexy vegetarian like Casey on my morning commute. And hey, it might even encourage them to do something about the speaker quality while they're at it. Can anyone actually understand what they're saying?

Side note: Research shows that vegetarians actually have stronger immune systems than meat eaters, which is always a plus when you're smushed into a little subway car with a hundred coughing strangers. Hopefully, the MTA will consider our offer, for the sake of animals, commuters, and the $2 MetroCard.

Posted by Lianne Turner

The annual Glitterbox Awards are PETA’s way of recognizing companies that advertise their products in a way that promotes kindness to animals, and this year’s big winners are General Motors and Georgia-Pacific’s Brawny paper towels for commercials which, respectively, raise awareness about vegetarian diets and protecting the environment, and depict a “man’s man” as someone who humanely removes a spider from the house. You can watch GM’s veg-friendly Chevy ad here. I can’t find the Brawny ad on YouTube, but here’s one from last year where the Brawny man saves a baby bird. Seems like they’ve got a good thing going over at Brawny.

Lest we get overwhelmed by all this positivity, we’ve also handed out two Litterbox Awards to companies that advertise in ways that show a lack of respect for animals or handle animals irresponsibly. CDW hauled in the dubious honor this year for a series of commercials featuring a man and his chimpanzee sidekick. There’s some more info here about the lousy conditions that chimpanzees used by the ad industry have to endure. And the other Litterbox Prize goes to a Singapore Airlines print ad, which shows a man holding a bullhook as he forces an elephant to bow. I’m not going to link to either of these ads, because, well, they suck.

I don’t quite understand what it is that makes CBS want to promote animal abuse on the regular (though it may have a little something to do with a petty, small-minded man named Les Moonves who runs the network), but there’s no doubt that they have a pretty full schedule of it, beginning with the Survivor stunts where contestants are invited to torture animals for a chance at the immunity idol, followed recently by the unbelievable decision to encourage the children on Kid Nation to kill chickens, and capped off this month with an episode of The Amazing Race of Africa where contestants had to stuff chickens into bags and keep them there for a day, then tie baby goats into bike baskets and ride around a marketplace while the animals screamed in fear.

Since there’s no reasoning with CBS or Les Moonves himself, we’ve taken this one to the advertisers. We’re asking Kohl’s and Energizer, who both advertise heavily during Kid Nation and The Amazing Race, to immediately pull their sponsorship of the shows until CBS commits to stop being so damned cruel. And, if you’re feeling activisty today, you can do so too—just click here to write a polite letter to Energizer, and here to do the same for Kohl’s. For a bit of inspiration, you can read our own letter to Energizer on this topic—feel free to plagiarize it as much as you like.

P.S. Yes, I know that “activisty” isn’t a real word, and no, I will not attempt to use it again.