Apr01
'Slither' Me Timbers! There're Snakes in This Here Duck Blind
Posted at 09:09 AM | Permalink
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Comments (10)
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Rumor has it that water blinds (duck hunters' huts that are camouflaged to look like the water) in Oregon, Howell, Carter, Pulaski, Phelps, Wayne, Pemiscot, Mississippi, Scott, and Stoddard counties have been sprayed with the pheromones of female cottonmouths. The pheromones, taken from excrement evacuated from the cottonmouth's cloacal chamber, are guaranteed to attract aggressive males looking for some tail. I'm not a herpetologist, but I'm guessing that these randy reptiles are going to be pretty ticked-off when their booty call turns out to be a couple of dudes dressed like bushes.
So how can duck hunters avoid being bitten or, God forbid, part of a coital coil? We suggest that they hang up hunting and consider taking up golf or baseball instead. If they don't, then I agree with my friend and PETA's waterfowl specialist Hans Offdemall when he says, "PETA opposes gun violence, so when a 250-pound man hides on the water so that he can blow to pieces one of a bonded pair of 1-pound birds, we think that he should get a taste of his own medicine."
Posted by Amy Elizabeth
TAGGED:
hunting ducks snakes april fools
Comments
Hunters are extremely cruel and inhumane and they perpetuate society's murder epidemic via crusading for the further legalization of more firearms.
Posted by: Brien Comerford | April 1, 2009 10:36 AM
clever idea; but i hope the excrement was willingly donated by said cottonmouths.
Posted by: anonymous | April 1, 2009 10:52 AM
Someone could get seriously hurt due to this... Not a good idea if you ask me.
Posted by: chris | April 1, 2009 05:58 PM
Isnt that illegal? Traspassing? If I was a duck hunter and found someone putting cottonmouth atractants on my blind, I would shoot them. I hope this is just a rumor and nothing else because it will be peta members getting hurt and not hunters.
Posted by: Korea | April 1, 2009 06:12 PM
I really hope that this really isn't true...Duck season is long over by the time mating season is upon the snakes. These snakes are going to go into these blinds and not be able to get out and ultimately starve to death. Hopefully for the snakes its just a bad thought out april fools joke article.
Posted by: Chad | April 1, 2009 07:49 PM
Does anyone else think that promoting the killing of hunters is not really any better than promoting hunting?
Posted by: anonymous | April 2, 2009 02:51 AM
Well considering that there isn't a duck hunting season until fall after the snakes mating season, and that it is so cold that I find it hard to believe that snakes are going to be on the move that much anyway, i find the story farfetched.
Posted by: Pete | April 2, 2009 11:45 AM
Dangerous for the snakes and humans and counter productive to any activist movement.
Posted by: jon | April 2, 2009 10:56 PM
Dear PETA,
Duck season starts in November, and ends in February. Snakes mate in the late spring.
There will be no hunters in the blinds when the snakes are out.
Your plan is not quite as clever as you thought.
Love,
Kevin
Posted by: Kevin | April 3, 2009 12:13 AM
I think promoting the injuring of hunters is a dangerous practice,as I think it would be even worse to accidentally kill a living,breathing human being due to painful death by cottonmouth venom then any alternative.Those ducks may have bonded pairs and hunting may be cruel,but killing a hunter who may fave a family to help support is out of th question.
Posted by: N/A | July 28, 2009 11:57 AM