Dec11
The Aussie Government Is Talking About My Naughty Bits!
Posted at 03:23 PM | Permalink
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Comments (11)
I'm pretty sure my mother has set up Google News alerts for my name. So when I saw a News of the Weird–esque article in Australia's Weekly Times about an Aussie senator, Bill Heffernan, taking jabs at me to the media by talking about my—ahem—circumcision, I knew it was just a matter of time before she'd see it too. Proactively, I e-mailed her the article with the subject line, "Should I be honored by this?"
Now, I'm sure you're all wondering what an elected official was doing talking about my naughty bits to the press. Well, there's a perfectly, um, reasonable explanation: I oversee PETA's campaign against mulesing—a cruel mutilation in which Australian farmers hack chunks of lambs' flesh from their backsides without as much as an aspirin for pain relief. It's the cheapest way to prevent a fly infestation that is dangerous—but that could be prevented if farmers would just look after the sheep instead of abandoning them in open fields and forgetting about them until slaughter or shearing. So, in his frustration over the fact that we've been getting major retailers such as Abercrombie & Fitch and Perry Ellis to stop using Australian wool, Senator Heffernan lashed out. Check out this juicy excerpt from the article:
Last week [Senator Heffernan] turned his verbal blowtorch on animal activist Matt Prescott from the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals [sic], after Prescott flagged the wool industry would die if it failed to ban mulesing.
"I'll bet he's been circumcised," Senator Heffernan said, the inference being that it is no different to a lamb being mulesed.
"I hope he has. I'll be putting that to him. That bloke needs to come over here, have a look at our sheep and learn some home truths."
My reply? "Dear Senator Heffernan, You were right: I have indeed been circumcised. Fortunately, my parents didn't perform the cut in a field with a pair of garden shears, and they didn't remove my flesh because of a financial interest. No such luck for lambs." (You can read the full reply here.)
My mother's reply? "I'm not sure this is a compliment, but I guess you can't beat a senator talking publicly about your circumcision."
Posted by Matt Prescott
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Comments
Hahahaha, lovely blog, Matt. Those Australian sheep farmers cross lines with the animals and in the media.
Posted by: Lianne | December 11, 2008 04:13 PM
Oh, Matt, this is one of the funniest blogs I've read in a long while. Your Mom is certainly one waayyyy cool lady!
You and PETA are just my favorites--TRUE HEROES!!!
Posted by: Susan T | December 11, 2008 04:33 PM
I would have told him it's none of his business whether or not you've been circumcised.
"Have a look at our sheep and learn some home truths." Bahahaha! So he thinks that by looking at their sheep you'll have less compassion for them? It seems to usually work the other way around. And what "home truths" is he talking about? That cruelty is okay?
Posted by: Pete | December 11, 2008 06:14 PM
Bill Heffernan is crazypants! He had a go at the Deputy Prime Minister, by saying she couldn't possibly serve the public properly because she is "deliberately barren" - i.e. she doesn't have kids. Charming.
Take his remark as a compliment, mate!
Posted by: Perla | December 11, 2008 10:43 PM
Oh, and BTW: Heffernan is part of the Opposition Coalition, not the Government, mercifully!
Posted by: Perla | December 11, 2008 10:45 PM
OMG! I am so glad that you stuck it to him, MATT! But what do you exspect from a lying senator? OOPS,did I just say that,LOL!!! :)Next year he would be against it,if IT could get him re-elected.So for now, he is FOR it.Bottom line to all of HIS comments...HE is just full of it!! TOO BAD HE IS IN GOVERNMENT,he's more than likey "friends" with these abusers of animals.In the mean time KEEP SENDING THOSE LETTERS OUT,MATT! WE GOT YOUR BACK! GO TEAM PETA!
Posted by: SASHA | December 11, 2008 10:46 PM
Has Senator Heffernan always been interested in other boys' naughty bits or is this just more of a platonic thing? He sounds kind of repressed to me....
Posted by: David | December 11, 2008 11:41 PM
New PETA Campaign:
Matt Prescott, Circumcised Avenger. Fights for Mulesing Bans, among other things. All while circumcised!
how does he do it!?!?
Posted by: Tom | December 12, 2008 10:33 AM
I haven't been circumcised. Does that mean only I can criticise this practice?
If anything, Matt, it would make you more compassion for these sheep since you have had pieces of your flesh taken form you without your consent.
Posted by: Jeremy | December 12, 2008 12:31 PM
I think circumcision is barbaric as well.
Posted by: Karmah | December 19, 2008 10:00 AM
I find it rather humourous now, those beautiful travel ads for Australia. I longed to visit such unspoiled beauty. I will never go to a place where inhumanity sits in the drivers seat - how safe would that be - please don't bring your pet if you have to travel there - and I will never visit this holocaust country.
Posted by: Babydoll | February 25, 2009 03:00 PM