BBC News has just released a list of the top 10 most controversial ads of 2007, and our edgy, boundary-pushing counterparts over in the UK made the list with their “Feeding Kids Meat Is Child Abuse” billboard, which received a whopping 68 complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority in 2007. The way I see it, with literally millions of advertisements bombarding the public every day with messages about how they can make their teeth whiter, or, like, more effectively pluck their eyebrows, creating an ad that makes people stop and think—and that affects some people so profoundly that they’re shocked out of their complacency—is not an easy thing to do. So, excellent work, PETA UK.

It may not be a message that people want to hear, but it’s an important one (a point that was recognized by the Advertising Standards Authority, which ruled that the ad does not trivialize abuse, as complainants had claimed). And, of course, when you consider that feeding kids meat sets them on the road to a higher risk of heart attacks, diabetes, and a whole slew of other health problems, the ad isn’t exactly misstating the case. Here’s the BBC list of controversial ads, and here’s the billboard that’s causing all the fuss. I’d love to hear what you think.

Any good Marketing professional knows their “ABCs of Marketing”* — Ability to persuade, Businesslike demeanor, and of course, Coercion through bribery. Well, yesterday, in Lynchburg, Virginia, and Beckley, West Virginia, PETA’s Lettuce Ladies rocked all three of these important guidelines as they gave away free gas and vegan sandwiches to 100 people in exchange for a brief chat about the benefits of a vegan diet.

According to the Ladies, there were huge crowds gathered to take advantage of the freebies and find out what all the fuss was about after a news report announcing this unique demonstration, and they gave away hundreds of vegetarian starter kits to a very receptive audience, who were stunned to learn that eating just a single pound of meat is the environmental equivalent of driving more than 40 miles in an SUV. Here’s what my friend and professional Lettuce Lady Colleen Higgins had to say about the experience: "In a time of rising gas prices and rising concern for the environment, we're going the extra mile to help Americans fill up on vegan fuel for their tummies and gas for their tanks." Good stuff.

*I just made these up.

I wanted to do a joke here about the fact that “gosling” means baby goose, but it’s not coming, so I’ll just play this one straight: Ryan Gosling, the Oscar-nominated star of Lars and the Real Girl, Murder by Numbers, and Half Nelson, has just fired off a letter on behalf of PETA to John Bitove (who runs the show for most KFCs in Canada, Ryan’s home country) urging him to stop Canadian KFCs' suppliers worst abuses of chickens, who are killed when they’re still just babies. "The time is ripe to do the right thing," he writes. "By adopting the basic recommendations made by PETA and scientific experts (including raising birds in a more natural manner and employing less cruel slaughter methods), you could dramatically improve the lives and deaths of chickens …."

Ryan Gosling	Goslings

Image credits: DeadlineHollywoodDaily, BBC / CC

And if you haven’t seen Lars and the Real Girl yet, you should rent it. Definitely one of my favorite movies this year.

As you’ll be well aware if you live anywhere near here, our area got hit by a tornado yesterday. 200 people were injured, a lot of people had to leave their homes in a hurry, and …here we go again…animals were left behind, plus authorities have refused to let people who tried to go home after work return to their homes. We’ve been rushing around today trying to help those animals out. There’s plenty more info below about what you can do if you live in the area.

PETA, the Virginia Beach SPCA, and Suffolk Animal Control have joined forces to help local tornado victims. Because the storm hit suddenly, many people fled their homes leaving dogs, cats birds and other animals behind.

The Virginia Beach SPCA has set up an emergency response center at the Suffolk Animal Control Bureau, located at 124 Glen Forest Drive in Suffolk. The shelter will be staffed 24/7 to receive animals as long as there is a need.

If you know of an animal in need, whether lost or left behind, please call 757-409-7729, or email info@VBSPCA.com. PETA’s Community Animal Project is available to assist in rescuing animals who are trapped in or under homes and assist in capturing frightened animals running at large.

At least 100 birds have already been displaced by the storm and taken for emergency care. For information on how to help stranded wildlife, please visit VBSPCAWildlife.com.

… But, as our friend Moby shows in this sketch, sometimes you also need to be, like, interesting. This one’s just for fun.

AwesomeFlorida / CC

This past weekend, a dolphin named Sharky collided with another dolphin during a live “performance” and died shortly afterwards. The story has been doing the rounds of the international news media, which invariably uses terms like “freak accident” and “random,” interspersed with the occasional quote about the incident being “unfortunate”. Which is all very nice, I guess, but they’re missing a key point about this story: Dolphins don’t do well in captivity because they don’t belong there, and one tragedy or another is inevitable when these animals are required to perform tricks that are as unnatural to them as they are inhumane.

Sharky, like the vast majority of dolphins held captive in marine mammal parks, died a few decades short of his natural life expectancy. The only difference between his story and that of his counterparts around the country is that his story actually got reported on.

More info on marine mammal parks here.

askmen / CC

Pam (who also stuck around to lobby the guests alongside PETA VP Dan Mathews at the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday) hand-delivered a PETA science report—the impetus for a recent front-page Washington Post story—condemning the failure of the Department of Health and Human Services to use sophisticated, non-animal test methods widely used in Europe, in place of decades-old, cruel and crude animal tests for toxicity. Asked about her decision to act as a courier on PETA’s behalf, she said, "Being a citizen excites me not just because I can vote, but because I can crack the whip on Capitol Hill to defend animals."

And she does it all with a smile. You rule, Pam.

P.S. If you want to help out yourself by contacting your members of Congress about this issue, you can do so through the webform here.

… So say a number of Canadian consumers, who have just filed a formal complaint against the Fur Council of Canada (FCC) with the Competition Bureau of Canada. The complaint—which has been signed by representatives of animal protection groups from British Columbia to Nova Scotia—alleges that the FCC has attempted to gain an unfair competitive advantage by using preposterous claims that fur production is “Eco-Friendly” and that people who choose fur alternatives are damaging the environment because of the energy that’s required to make faux fur.

In fact, the opposite is true. Not only are fur garments treated with toxic chemicals to keep them from decomposing, but fur production—which government agencies around the world have identified as a major pollutant—poisons waterways and consumes resources at an alarming rate. It is estimated that it takes 15 times as much energy to produce a fur coat from ranch-raised animals as it does to produce a faux-fur coat. Not to mention the pain and suffering and the existence of natural fibres like cotton, etc.

And it’s against the rules to lie in order to gain a competitive advantage. So the FCC needs to stop it. I’ll let you know how that goes.

You can take action on this issue here.

Model and designer Kimora Lee Simmons, whose Baby Phat ads and clothes were once disturbingly furry, has had a big change of heart over the time we have known her. Contact Music published an article yesterday about Kimora’s reasons for giving her branded Barbie doll a faux-fur coat accessory. Kimora says wants kids to know that faux fur is both compassionate and stylish, saying of the doll:

"She has a faux-fur chinchilla coat, because I want to show kids that synthetic fur can be fabulous, too. She's everything a Barbie is supposed to be."

So, thanks to Kimora for helping to spread the word. In the meantime, I’m trying to come up with some other Barbie dolls that will be equivalently effective as educational tools for kids. So far, I’ve got “Seal Hunt Protest Barbie” (artist’s rendition below), and “Runway Takeover Barbie”. If anyone else has any suggestions, let me know.

TableandHome / CC

If you haven’t seen it yet, you should check out this beautiful website, which has been designed to house all the veggie testimonials we’ve made recently with celebrities such as Sir Paul McCartney, Alicia Silverstone, Forest Whittaker, Casey Affleck, James Cromwell, and others. There’s also a section where you can upload your own video testimonial about what made you go vegetarian, ‘cuz we’re all Web 2.0 like that. To kick things off, I made my own version. Check it out, then make your own and follow the directions here to submit it. There are some T-shirts and an iPod up for grabs for the best submissions. Plus everlasting Internet notoriety, of course.

Here's what Jeff says about this week's masterpiece: "The strip is based on the sad measures that officials have to take in order to protect rhinos from poachers. And a little depravity thrown in for good measure."

He also let me know that, in honor of Earth Week, he sprayed this strip with 50 percent less pesticides. Which was very noble of him, I thought. Anyway, this one's a zinger—enjoy!

Click for a larger version

To check out the archives of past strips, click here.

The nation's fleeting attention was caught today by a story about a Florida woman who was surprised to discover a full-sized alligator nonchalantly wandering around in her kitchen looking for treats. For her troubles, the woman in question—Ms. Sandie Frosti—gets an all-expenses-paid trip to New York to do the talk-show circuit, so everything turned out OK for her.

But what's to become of old Andy the Alligator? Well, according to local authorities, our reptilian friend, who is believed to be a grown-up from a group of baby gators that the neighbors used to feed in the pond, has been bound up and is awaiting slaughter, which will probably come via a knife or ax to the spine, so that he can be paralyzed before they skin him alive to make shoes, belts, and bags out of him.

Which is pretty much the price that animals who don't pass the "cute and cuddly" test always tend to pay in these situations. There's going to be plenty of yukking it up about Ms. Frosti's wacky experience during the talk-show fluff pieces tomorrow morning, so I figured at least somebody should tell the alligator's side of the story. If nothing else, maybe it'll at least serve as a reminder never to buy exotic skins.

In early February, after we were alerted to the fact that Will Ferrell's latest movie, Semi-Pro, was to feature scenes in which Will (or, more likely, a stunt double) wrestled a live bear, PETA sent a letter to his agents letting them know about the very real cruelty that goes on behind the scenes any time an "animal actor" is trawled out for a stunt in a movie. The disturbing news that the very same bear who was used in the movie attacked and killed his trainer yesterday has put the whole thing in a new light.

It's pretty rare that people catch a glimpse of the way the animals they see in TV shows or movies are really treated (as you might imagine, they're not natural actors — they're often beaten to perform). But we're hoping that this incident, sad as it is, will encourage Hollywood actors to take a stand against performing with animals, who want to be movie stars about as much as they want to be stuck in a cage for the rest of their lives (which is pretty much the standard accommodation for a great many of the animals who are used by Hollywood). The only really surprising thing about yesterday's tragic bear attack is that it didn't happen sooner.

We're asking Will Ferrell to pledge never to act with wild animals again. I'll let you know if he gets back to us. In the meantime, you can read our letter here.

This one's a beauty. Vanessa Carlton, whose latest album, Heroes and Thieves, has been making critics go all gooey for a few months now, is the star of a new PETA ad to help prevent animal overpopulation as part of our Animal Birth Control Campaign. Check it:

And just so you can have it playing in your head for the rest of the week, here's A Thousand Miles.

This was sent in by Marc Bekoff for Taylor Courtney Hobbs, an undergraduate at the University of Colorado, Boulder. As you will have guessed from the title of this post, it's kind of depressing. Before I started thinking really seriously about animal rights issues, it literally never even occurred to me that there might be something wrong with keeping wild animals confined in completely unnatural surroundings for people to gape and shout at all day, but once you start looking at it that way, a trip to the zoo feels more like a horrorshow than a fun family outing. More on the topic here.

Just so I can complete the perfect trifecta of posts about quirky demonstrations today (see the shower girls and the DC dinosaur in case you missed them), here’s one that involves six businesspeople in one small cage. The purpose of this protest—which took place outside drugmaker Eli Lilly’s annual shareholder meeting yesterday—was to let the company’s shareholders know about its decision to outsource animal experiments to China and other countries where animal protection laws are virtually non-existent.

As a wise man once said, “A man’s crimes against nature aren’t any less disgusting when he pays the Chinese to do them for him.” OK, fine, a wise man didn’t once say that. But he should have. ’Cuz it’s true.

Earlier today, I brought you an image of a giant dinosaur attacking DC to help end animal testing. I’m no mind-reader, but I’m fairly confident that the following, word for word, is exactly what went on inside your heads when you saw that picture:

“This is the greatest thing that I have ever seen. Ever. It will be literally impossible for Jack to top this in a subsequent PETA Files entry.”

Well, you were wrong, people. You were wrong. Because, difficult as it may be for you to imagine, there is one thing that's even better than a giant dino rampaging through our Nation’s capital. And we pulled it off yesterday afternoon in Times Square: The first-ever girl/girl shower demonstration. The purpose of the demo was to remind passersby and the media—just in time for Earth Day—that if they’re worried about the environmental devastation caused by wasting water, they should cut it off at the source … by going vegetarian. Just to spell this point out, it takes 5,000 gallons of water to produce just one pound of meat. Which is roughly equivalent to about a full year’s worth of showers (depending on how clean of a person you are).

Now that you’ve patiently sat through the math lesson, here are some pics of two girls and a naked cowboy in a shower. Yup, the naked cowboy himself (who is normally very territorial about his space in Times Square) was gracious enough to hop in with these kickass activists, telling reporters that he was doing it “for the animals — like me.” Glorious.

For reals. The thing is about 25 feet tall, all told, and he’s pretty tough to miss (I did a classic double take when I caught a glimpse of him peering through the window when they were setting up in our parking lot for a dry run last week). This big guy was outside the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services yesterday to remind U.S. government officials that testing on animals is about as progressive as the stone age. Yes, I know that dinos were extinct by the Stone Age, but I would hate to have to explain that to a 25-foot tyrannosaurus. He really does look pretty menacing.

For more info on the campaign that inspired these demonstrations, here’s a recent post about a Paleolithic government entity called ICCVAM, who have been making a royal mess of things for about a decade now.

PetLoversTips / CC

However, just so everyone is clear on this, there’s reason to believe that this may have been a stunt, and that some parts of this story (such as the starving of the dog) were actually fabricated for the sake of publicity. As this article in The Guardian notes,

“Juanita Bermúdez, director of the Códice Gallery, insisted [the dog] escaped after just one day. She said: ‘It was untied all the time except for the three hours the exhibition lasted and it was fed regularly with dog food [Vargas] himself brought in.’”

Whatever the cruel or weird game that Vargas is playing, if it turns out that he took this animal in and allowed her to go back out on the streets to fend for herself, he still needs to be held accountable for extreme cruelty to animals—but for the time being, the information is pretty patchy.

We’re currently investigating the incident, and I’ll update this blog if we get more information. In the meantime, whether Vargas intended it or not, this whole thing does provide an insight into human nature that will be worth considering once we’re able to look at the big picture: If we can muster up this degree of outrage about one incident of animal suffering, why are we any less horrified by the billions upon billions of similar or worse cases of abuse that we can personally help to prevent?

I’m just going to come out and say this: PETA is offering 1 million dollars (say it in your best Dr. Evil voice) to the first team of scientists that can develop a method to produce commercially viable quantities of in vitro (lab-grown) chicken meat.

The figure was reached by a team of math nerds working in PETA’s basements who have determined that 1 million is actually very close to the number of chickens killed every hour in the United States—so there’s a nice element of symbolism to the offer as well. But symbolism aside—we’re deadly serious about helping to fund developments in this new science, which has the potential to end the suffering of literally billions of animals if a commercially viable lab meat is made available. As PETA President Ingrid Newkirk puts it:

"People are surprised to learn that PETA is interested in lab-grown meat, but we have overcome our own revulsion at flesh-eating to champion a breakthrough that will mean a far kinder world for animals. One million dollars is a lot of money, but it's a small price to pay for something that has the potential to save about 1 million lives every hour."

To qualify for the prize, scientists in the field must be able to produce a quantity of meat that is sufficient to market in at least 10 U.S. states at a price that is competitive with prevailing chicken prices.

There’s plenty more information on our contest page. Once you’ve had a look at it, let me know what you think. I’d love to hear from both vegetarians and meat-eaters—would you eat lab meat?

In an exclusive interview with PETA, Sir Paul McCartney has a lot to say about why eating meat is the worst thing you can do for the environment. I just want to say this one more time, so I can relish the moment: Exclusive. Paul McCartney. Interview. OK, I’m going to shut up now, and let the man talk.

What do you think is the most personal change a person can make in their own lifestyle to help the environment? Some people often think recycling and taking shorter showers is all they need to do. What would you add?

I think the biggest change anyone could make in their own lifestyle would be to become vegetarian. Although this may seem to some like an unusual answer, the Global Meat Industry and the land & water required to service it is one of the major contributors to Global Warming. This surprising fact has emerged in research over the past few years. So I would urge everyone to think about taking this simple step to help our precious environment and save it for the children of the future.

What do you think about the fact that most major environmental organizations and the most prominent environmental advocates are omitting vegetarianism from their list of the top ways to help curtail global warming?

I think it's very surprising that most major environmental organisations are leaving the option of going vegetarian off their lists of top ways to curtail global warming. Of course there are many powerful businesses which would wish to resist this idea but it is becoming clearer that a simple change in peoples' lifestyles could make a major difference to our environment. What is interesting is that nowadays it is so easy to become vegetarian and so many people are reducing meat in their diet. That is a simple but extremely effective step that many people could take to help the environment and improve their own health at the same time.

How do you feel about the disappearance of birds, other wild animals and natural places around the globe?

It is such a pity that the wildlife and natural places of this beautiful planet we inhabit are being destroyed by thoughtless industrialization. This scandal can be halted and there are hopeful signs that people are starting to realize that this must be done to secure a brighter future for our children and theirs.

What do you feel is the best step for a person who is concerned about over-fishing, marine pollution and the clear-cutting of the ocean floor by commercial fisheries, to take?

Unfortunately many people seem to think that vegetarians eat fish but this is not so and when you consider the over fishing, the marine pollution and the huge damage to our precious oceans that are caused by commercial fishing it becomes obvious that a vegetarian lifestyle would greatly improve our environment and help to save our oceans. The surprising thing is that even though many of us, including me, were brought up as traditional meat and fish eaters, it is a simple matter these days and an exciting one to consider changing your diet to a healthier one which not only brings benefits to the person who does it but also to the planet as a whole.

Timeout / CC

"Morrissey never dined at STK nor did we report that he did, but as a matter of policy, of course, STK welcomes him and vegetarians of all stripes. There's loads of vegetarian options: roasted beet, organic arugula and hearts of romaine salads; nine vegetable options … and on and on."

And as far as the second point is concerned, you can read my dissertation on the subject here.

Morrissey’s rep also very kindly contacted us last night to alert us to the STK statement and point out that the TMZ piece “also erroneously alluded to a disagreement between Morrissey and PETA who remain mutual supporters and admirers.” True dat!

Following discussions with PETA about the extremely unpleasant habit that Australian Farmers have of mutilating lambs in their care, Hugo Boss has announced that it will phase out the use of Australian wool that comes from lambs who have undergone the mutilation. Here’s what they said:

"HUGO BOSS disassociates itself from mulesing because it contravenes our corporate values … [and] has decided to phase out the use of wool from farms that perform mulesing—including clip mulesing. Should mulesing not have ended completely by 2010, HUGO BOSS will refuse to purchase wool material from farms that perform mulesing."

Hugo Boss isn’t the only company to make such a compassionate decision this month—IC Companys (the massive Danish clothing retailer), has also pledged to get all their wool from outside Australia until the Aussie sheep farmers can figure out a way to raise animals that doesn’t involve slicing them up with gardening shears. Both companies have also rejected the ridiculous “clip mulesing” alternative, which involves using clips to clamp down on the sheep’s skin so tightly that it dies. So the farmers are going to have to figure something out that’s actually humane. We’ve got tons of suggestions.

But don’t take it from me, take it from Kathie Lee! She reminded people that they can donate their old furs to PETA on the Today Show this week. There’s more info on how to go about it here. We give the furs to homeless shelters, wildlife rehabbers, and activists (who use them in anti-fur demonstrations). Many thanks to Kathie Lee for the plug.

FoxNews / CC

Some traditions, regardless of how much fun they may have seemed a hundred years ago, need to just go ahead and die. And any “tradition” that involves beating and abusing living beings needs to do so sooner rather than later. Of course that doesn’t always mean you have to stop doing something you were way into—it just means you have to stop doing the part of it that was stupid and ill-thought-out in the first place. People who can’t live without old-timey rides in New York City, for instance, can still have them after we win our campaign to ban horse-drawn carriages in the city. As this recent article in The New York Post explains in more detail, we want the city’s politicians to replace the carriages with "green" replicas of antique cars like the Ford Model T. I’m way into the idea. What do you think?

EverettCurrierFarm / CC

In case you've missed the more-or-less nonstop coverage of the Pope's visit to the U.S., here are some pics from his recent appearance in DC. Some of my colleagues were on hand to remind attendees that being a good Christian means being kind to all beings. Which is a sentiment that Pope Benedict has backed up himself, speaking out very eloquently on the cruelty of factory farms.

Honestly, I think I got most of the story out in the title, but here goes: According to TMZ, a booking company called Romeo Entertainment is suing an animal group after Matchbox 20 pulled out of performing at a rodeo. They’re evidently pissed that the group, called SHARK, sent Matchbox 20 info about the cruelty of rodeos, causing the band to cancel their appearance. And this isn’t the first time it’s happened—Carrie Underwood reportedly pulled out of a similar event in 2006 for the same reasons.

Anyway, good luck with your dumbass lawsuit, Romeo Entertainment. I’m sure the courts are going to look really kindly on this waste of their time.

You can read the full article here.

At a middle school in Tiny Poplar, Wisconsin, a science teacher is encouraging his kids to shoot animals in the area and share stories of “the kill” with the rest of the class. If the kids eat the dead creatures, they’re allowed to post pictures of their accomplishment on a bulletin board in the classroom. And not a single person in the school gets how fundamentally, deeply screwed up this is.

After concerned members of the community contacted us about this disturbing practice, PETA’s Sangeeta Kumar wrote a letter to the school’s principal informing him of the well-documented link between violence against animals and criminal behavior against other humans (this is especially true when kids start killing at a young age), and asked that he at least include some information on humane treatment of animals in his curriculum so kids could learn that there are other, more enriching ways of interacting with wild animals than shooting at them.

We’re still chatting fairly amicably with the principal about this issue—but it’s frustrating going. You can read more about this (and leave a comment, if you feel so inclined) at TwinCities.com. Note the quote at the end where the school tries to justify this sordid practice with the argument that people used to do it 150 years ago. Kind of like how they used to own slaves and deny women the right to vote.

"I doubt there were many vegetarians 150 years ago. Why was it acceptable for their great grandfathers to hunt?"

Short answer: It wasn’t. I’ll let you know if we get anywhere with this.

I'm totally going to steal this idea.

Click for a larger version

To check out the archives of past strips, click here.

Well, April is the cruelest month, so this is a perfect time to officially recognize 2008’s cruelest man in academia. Through four grueling rounds against some of the most barbaric men and women in the world, Arthur Weber of MSU has come home with the big prize. Despite a late run by the seasoned group of vivisectors from Duke led by longtime monkey abuser David Platt, Arthur’s team won the final contest with a commanding score of 20 votes to 11.

When asked for comment by the MSU campus newspaper, Weber—who was voted champion largely due to a series of experiments in which he removes cats’ eyes while they’re still alive—made the following statement through a representative:

“The animals are completely anesthetized, receive painkillers, and once the animals come out of the anesthesia, 10 minutes later you can’t tell the difference.”

Awwww, so modest. So self-effacing! But of course you can tell the difference, Arthur! THE CATS ARE MISSING THEIR EYES. And don’t forget the part where you keep them alive for a week after the operation and then kill them—I bet they notice that too!

Anyway, without further ado, please join me in recognizing Arthur Weber of MSU as the people’s choice for the cruelest vivisector in the world! You’ve earned this, Weber.

MSU.edu/Creative Commons

First of all, let me say that I’m a big fan of TMZ. They're a hell of a lot of fun to read, and (most importantly), they cover stories about PETA whenever we do something awesome—which is a lot. But a blog they posted today, entitled “PETA - hypocrisy, table for one,” is kind of begging for a response—especially since it raises an issue that causes some confusion even within the animal rights movement. Their theory, if I understand it correctly, is that ethical vegetarians are hypocrites if they even step inside a restaurant that sells meat. I get where the idea is coming from, but it’s so fundamentally opposite to the way we actually need to do things if we want to make progress with animal rights that I feel like I should spell it out here.

As much as we’d like it to, Progress ain’t gonna come if we just sit here and wish with all our hearts that all the steakhouses go out of business. When progress does come, it comes in the form of steakhouses adding a veggie option or two to their menus. And then a couple more. And then, when they see that they’re big sellers, keeping them there, and in the process showing some of their regular customers that there are actually a whole lot of really tasty alternatives to meat. But that’s not going to happen if all the vegetarians in the world turn up their noses and refuse to eat at any restaurants that also sell animal products. Same deal with grocery stores—no one’s doing anyone any favors by refusing to shop at supermarkets that aren’t 100 percent vegan. The smart thing to do is to vote with your dollars, because if businesses don’t even know that there’s a big market for vegetarian options, they’re not going to have a whole lot of incentive for providing them.

One last thing on this—I’ve talked about the positive-reinforcement technique, but for every carrot, there’s also a stick, and that’s why PETA and other animal groups apply pressure to specific companies that are the absolute worst of the worst in the way they treat the animals they use, by calling for an all-out boycott until certain improvements are made. It’s a tried-and-true technique, and we’re going to keep using it. But it doesn’t mean that you should avoid going to a fast-food restaurant with your family and ordering the veggie burger. Because that would just be dumb.

Update: This whole thing started when TMZ reported that Morrissey was seen inside a steakhouse. Turns out they actually misreported it after all. My point still stands though.

Here’s how this works: By neglecting to address the number one cause of global warming, Al Gore—as one of the world’s most prominent environmental advocates—is arguably doing a fair bit of damage to his cause. So if he’s not going to set an example by boycotting the industry that generates 40 percent more greenhouse-gas emissions than all the cars, trucks, ships, and planes in the world combined … well, somebody needs to pick up the slack.

Which is where OffsetAlGore.com comes in. Visitors to the site can learn the full extent of the meat industry’s role in causing global warming, and actually do something to help stem the tide by taking a pledge to go vegetarian for 30 days. That's enough time to prevent the release of more than 270 pounds of carbon dioxide into the Earth's atmosphere, and a more effective way of combating pollution than giving up driving every weekday for the same amount of time. As PETA VP Bruce Friedrich puts it:

"Visitors to OffsetAlGore.com can undo some of the damage that Al Gore is doing to the environment every time he sits down to a steak. Mr. Gore's own addiction to meat is adding to the very crisis he's devoting his life to stopping."

Anyway, check out the site, take the pledge (if you haven’t already), and let me know what you think of the campaign. We’re big admirers of Al Gore’s work here, but it really seems like the guy is doing his own cause a serious disservice by avoiding the single most important issue facing the environment today.

The Washington Post has just released an investigation into the shocking lack of progress that exists in U.S. government policies on animal experimentation. The Washington Post began its own investigation after PETA presented evidence of government negligence. As the article points out, hundreds of millions of animals in this country are still being killed in gruesome ways to test substances like Botox, even though there are modern, non-animal methods available. Part of the problem is a categorical failure by the agency that’s charged with reducing the use of animals in toxicity testing—the folks over at ICCVAM (who I’ve talked about a bit before on this blog)—to actually do their jobs. As the Post article puts it:

"The controversy over the Botox test highlights the slow pace of government efforts to replace or reduce the large numbers of animals used by pharmaceutical companies, chemical manufacturers and consumer firms to ensure that their products are safe for people. A decade after Congress created a panel to spur the development of non-animal tests, only four such tests have been approved out of 185 reviews, according to the panel's records."

During the same period of time, ICCVAM’s European counterpart has recommended more than two dozen non-animal tests, and the U.S. continues to lag well behind Europe in adopting modern alternatives to animal testing, which—in addition to causing unnecessary suffering and death for countless animals—poses a significant threat to human health.

There is a bit of good news, though, in the form of a landmark report by the National Academy of Sciences, which indicates that the United States may finally be ready to start catching up to other nations by adopting modern testing methods. But this isn’t going to happen while groups like ICCVAM are allowed to stand in the way. We’re currently calling for a congressional investigation into ICCVAM's negligence, and asking that a new entity be created to oversee the implementation of the NAS recommendations. If you’d like to help out by contacting your members of Congress about this issue, you can do so through the webform here.

And definitely check out the Post article. This issue is monumentally important, but doesn’t get a lot of ink, so it’s great to see a publication like The Washington Post giving it its due.

Sacramento Kings forward Ron Artest is the star of a new PSA for PETA urging basketball fans to "have the balls to spay or neuter your dog." Artest has never been shy about speaking his mind, and, in addition to bringing him a fair share of headlines throughout his career, this trait has shown itself off the court through community involvement, charity work, and a willingness to speak up for those less fortunate than himself. This is what he had to say about his new ad for PETA.

Yup, our pal Ron Jeremy has signed on to PETA’s KFC boycott, because he’s a firm believer in, um, doing chicks right. Before I get too carried away with the sexual innuendo here, let’s take a long, hard look at what Mr. Jeremy had to say about KFC. Good stuff, and thanks, Ron, for coming through.

With a bit of help from celebrity photographer Christopher Ameruoso, Girls Next Door star Holly Madison has created a downloadable video for the iPhone based on her amazing Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur ads. Proceeds from the video will go to benefit PETA’s anti-fur campaign. If you’re lucky enough to have an iPhone, and you want to make it even more beautiful by putting Holly Madison in it, you can download the PSA here. Thank you, Holly!

According to Reuters, the captain and first officer of the Farley Mowat, which belongs to the anti-seal hunt Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, were arrested by Canadian authorities, who representatives from Sea Shepherd say boarded the ship outside Canada’s territorial limit last week. As you might imagine, both sides are telling some conflicting stories about the event, and while I’m really trying to maintain a bit of journalistic distance in reporting this thing, it’s pretty tough to take Canada’s Fisheries Minister seriously while he’s also using every opportunity to try and claim that this is humane, and, like, totally above board from an ethical perspective. In the meantime, Paul Watson of Sea Shepherd is pissed. Here’s how he described the incident:

"This is an act of war. The Canadian government has just sent an armed boarding party onto a Dutch registered yacht in international waters and has seized the ship."

I’ll let you know once I can get some more details on this—in the meantime, there’s no question about the fact that Canada has declared war on seals. The Canadian government will be killing 275,000 of these animals this year in a barbaric hunt that has provoked international outrage. If you want to take a moment to let these people know how you feel about that, you can sign on to PETA’s campaign against the seal hunt here.

ninemsn / CC

So whaddaya say, Madge? We’ll even pony up some names for your new animal-friendly progeny that will go well with that whole spiritual, neo-hippie vibe you’ve got going on. I’m thinking something like Chickpea Ciccone. Or how about Ethereal Girl? If anyone else has some suggestions, feel free to weigh in.

OK, people, we’ve reached that point in the week where I try to palm a bunch of indiscriminately chosen links off on you in an attempt to purge a folder called “blog ideas” that sits in my Outlook and silently judges me. Some of these links will doubtless change your life; others will make you wish you had those precious seconds back again. But you’ll never know which is which until you click them. It’s like that scene in Flash Gordon where Flash reaches into a series of holes in a log, knowing that one of them contains a poisonous reptile. Any Flash Gordon fans in the house? I really liked that movie.

Anyway, here are some links. Many of them are relevant to the subjects traditionally covered on this blog.

1. Fancast has a great list of TV’s most (and least) animal-friendly TV shows.
2. All the people who have been clamoring for a claymation version of PETA’s Sex Talk video can now stop emailing me. Don’t speak English? Here it is in Spanish.
3. Thank you, Matchbox 20.
4. And thank you, Margaret Cho.
5. Remind you of any comment threads you’ve seen recently?
6. As a representative of PETA, I take it upon myself to officially endorse this ant farm.
7. Eggs, the silent killer.
8. My favorite part is where they say “camel beauty pageant” as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Probably a fairly lousy experience for the camels.
9. OK, this one’s a treasure hunt: Check out this article about PETA’s president on Wikipedia, click “Discussion,” then scroll all the way down to the bottom and read the debate about whether the dog in the photo should be credited along with Ingrid. It’s just so … apt.
10. Do hamburgers cause crime?
11. That thing about fish having a “3-second memory”? Total B.S.
12. Would you wear your dog? Me neither.

Hopefully that’ll tide you over through the weekend, but just in case you’re not totally sick of links to random web phenomena, let’s finish things up with this highly professional stop-motion video for my new hit song about Boston. Enjoy!

In case you missed it, the interwebs have been awash with speculation today about this picture, from the White House website, which “appears” to show a nude woman reflected in Vice President Dick C’s sunglasses while he was fishing. The White House is insisting that the reflection is just that of an arm holding a fishing rod, but, using a special enhancement technique, we've been able to pull up the image on the glasses. Of course, we had the advantage, in that we knew exactly what he was looking at — one of PETA’s protestors purposely distracting the Veep to get him to stop fishing and start grinning. Call me crazy, but I’m almost certain that’s the star of PETA’s 2008 State of the Union Undress! Glad to know she's reaching people in high places with her message that fish may not be as cuddly as deer, but they need to be let off the hook. Yes, Dick: Fishing hurts.

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This was a big one. The photos were taken after the peta2 Take Action Conference in Toronto last week. More on that on peta2’s blog (fair warning: my peta2 colleagues tend to use a lot of hip, slangy, young-people lingo, so try not to let it get you down), and there are plenty more pics on this Flickr photostream. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that’s a lot of people protesting that one little Toronto KFC. I bet they were pretty surprised. Nice work, peta2. You guys are, like, totally rad.

The Sun / CC

So we’re calling a ceasefire. As a goodwill gesture, PETA Senior VP Lisa Lange just sent newlyweds Beyoncé and Jay-Z a luxurious throw from top faux fur maker Fabulous Furs accompanied by the following note:

“From all of us at PETA, we wish you much happiness in your life together. Please accept this faux-fur throw with many good wishes and a hope from us that together, you’ll be a fur-free couple!”

Or, as she told the media, “Celebrities know that the easiest way to keep PETA off their backs is by keeping fur off their backs. Time will tell if Beyoncé is truly committed to being fur-free, but all indications are that she’s become a real ‘dreamgirl’ for fur-bearing animals.” We’re all pretty interested to see how this one pans out. Let’s hope for the best.

Another zinger from JC. This one covers those much maligned kittens of the sea, fish.

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To check out the archives of past strips, click here.

Well, Alan Greenspan used the "R" word this week, which means that this country is officially in a recession (just in case anyone hadn't noticed). Fortunately, here at PETA, we have a team of financial analysts, standing by to help people get through those tough times ahead. Here's what they came up with — enjoy, and you can thank us later.

Recession? U.S. house prices continue to fall and food and fuel prices continue to rise, and a recession is upon us. Before you tap into your savings or start draining Junior’s college fund, PETA has tips on how to dispel those recession blues.

1. Reduce…your Grocery Bill and Your Cholesterol on a Vegan Diet. High in fat and cholesterol, meat is also high-priced compared to such versatile vegan foods as beans, rice, millet, vegetables, soy “meat alikes” and pasta. Where burger beef (low grade dead cow) averages $3 per pound, dried beans, lentils and rice are less than $1 a pound. Bonus: you’ll save on hospital bills, cholesterol-reducing medications and plus-size clothing.


2. Replace…your leather, fur and wool, as it wears out, with cheaper, cleaner and kinder natural fibers and synthetics. Tighten your belt by buying pleather accessories and natural fiber clothing that’s easier on your budget and easier to clean. You’ll smile all the way to the bank just knowing that no animals died for your shoes and no ground water was polluted by tannery chemicals. Target and Payless won’t break your bank like that $10,000 snakeskin bag.


3. Refine…your taste in entertainment. Forget cable TV fees and nights at the opera. Study animal behavior: if a cat can have a blast with just a ball of string and a crumpled-up piece of paper, adopt one to keep you company! Don’t pay big bucks for a pet store puppy mill “pure bred” when the animal shelter has a dog or cat waiting there for you. And two can live as cheaply as one! Plus, saving an animal from death row is priceless.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

A little international flavor for you this afternoon: Earlier today outside the British embassy in Vienna, three PETA Germany members wearing little more than Union Jack Underpants and faux fur hats let the royals know exactly how they feel about the British Ministry of Defense's refusal to stop using bear fur for the Queen's Guards' ceremonial caps. Angry and naked, is how they feel. In case that wasn't clear.

Assuming you're of legal age and your boss isn't watching, you can check out the NSFW pic here.

MySpace superstar Colbie Caillat, who’s more or less poised to take over the world after her smash hit song “Bubbly” tore up the charts this year, recently sat down with my esteemed colleague Nicole Nuss to talk about what she does to keep the animals in her life happy. She’s adorable.

Update 12/22/2008: Donna Karan has announced that her fall 2009 lines will be fur-free and that she has "no plans" to use fur in the future! Read more.

Earlier this week, a group calling itself the "Paint Panthers" e-mailed my friend Michael McGraw, who works out of PETA’s New York office, to inform him that they had visited Donna Karan's home in The Hamptons and done a little "redecorating," stenciling "Donna Karan: Bunny Butcher" and painting a rabbit on the pavement with the message, "I don't want to be a handbag." The handwriting leaves a little to be desired, but the message is fairly plain.

Donna Karan, who was visited at home in February by an animal activist who walked into her living room and cued up a DVD of fur farm footage, is under fire for her refusal to remove fur from her collections. You can write to her about this lapse in judgment here.

Kathy Guillermo is the director of PETA’s Laboratory Investigations Department, where she works to expose the waste and cruelty of the multi-billion dollar animal experimentation industry. She also happens to be a damn fine writer, (and she’s got a great sense for snappy titles). This op-ed, about a recent study showing that some rodents can use tools, recently appeared in The Raleigh News Observer.

Some animals can use tools? Who cares?
-by Kathy Guillermo, PETA

Years ago, I had a wonderful companion animal named Angus. He was a remarkable little fellow who loved to greet visitors to my house and snuggle next to me on the sofa. His favorite food was Chinese carry-out, and he went bonkers when he saw the white cardboard containers come out of the plastic bag on the kitchen table. He was loyal and sweet-tempered - probably not so different from your own dog or cat.

Except that Angus wasn't a dog or cat. He was a rat. A brown rat with shiny black eyes and a long pink tail. He lived on a table-top in my home, where he never had to be shut in his cage. He liked to cruise around the house perched on my shoulder.

So it was with particular interest that I read the just-released study on rats, which found that rats can be trained to use tools, to understand the tools' functions and to choose the most appropriate tool when presented with more than one. Before this, the study says, it was thought that only primates and some birds, in addition to humans, were capable of figuring this out.

So here's my response, and I hope it's yours too: Who cares?

Should we change the way we view rats because some of them can be taught how to use a little rake to draw food toward themselves? Of course not. We should change our attitude toward rats because they are thinking, feeling, living beings with a sense of humor, an affectionate nature and a capacity for suffering that the human race should stop ignoring.

This study is just the latest in a long line of experiments that should have convinced us of this long ago. Last July, researchers at the University of Berne, Switzerland, announced that rats are influenced by the kindness of strangers. If rats have been assisted by rats they've never met before, they are more likely to help other rats in the future. A sort of rodent version of "Pay It Forward."

Other studies have shown that rats become distressed when they see other rats being electrically shocked. We shouldn't be surprised - though apparently the experimenters were - that the rats become even more agitated if they know or are related to the rat being shocked.

Scientists with special recording equipment have shown that rats laugh out loud in frequencies that can't be heard by the human ear. Young rats who are being tickled are the most likely to giggle. Rats have been shown to be altruistic and have risked their own lives to save other rats, especially when the rats in peril are babies.

All of these studies, including the latest on tool use, are published in journals, and news releases are sent out, and science bloggers chat online about them, but in the end, what difference does it make to rats?

Rats and mice, that other unfairly maligned species, are still used and killed by the tens of millions in U.S. laboratories every year. They are denied even the minimal coverage of the Animal Welfare Act, the only federal law offering any sort of protection to animals in laboratories.

So while it may pique the curiosity of some that rats can be taught to use tools, the more interesting result of this and all the studies that came before it is that experimenters apparently can't be taught to put the results of studies to good use. If experimenters had this ability - the sort of reasoning that should get one from A to B in a logical way - they'd read the evidence that rats can think, learn, feel, laugh, act altruistically and risk their lives for others, and they'd stop caging and hurting them in laboratories.

When a person knows that another being can suffer, and yet deliberately sets about causing that suffering, shouldn't we worry less about which species can use tools, and more about the callousness of some people?

We’re almost there, folks. If it’s any consolation, this is just as unpleasant for me as it is for you, but we’ve started this thing, so we need to finish it. Last night, Kansas won a stunner in overtime to take the NCAA basketball title, but our parallel tournament to find the college with the most horrific animal experimentation program has just one last round before we can recognize the winner and go home in disgust. They’ve been through a lot to get here, overcoming an unbelievably tough field of cat killers, monkey maimers, and bunny butchers to reach the finals of this notorious event, so hold your noses and steel yourself for one last dance with the March Mad Scientists … ladies and gentlemen, you voted to see them here; now let’s crown our champion:

MSU.edu/Creative Commons Arthur Weber, Michigan State Arthur Weber and the MSU team have been trouncing the competition so far, and last week’s blowout of Alan Schatzberg and the underperforming Stanford brain butchers (with a score of 12 votes to 0!) has effectively silenced the doubters. Weber’s spent 25 years torturing cats by removing their eyes while they’re still alive, and given MSU’s manhandling of the Stanford team last week, anyone going up against Weber and the Michigan state vivisectors should know that, like the cats who go under Weber’s knife, they're in for a world of pain. Leave a comment below to vote for Arthur Weber and MSU to win it all.

Physorg/Creative Commons Michael Platt, Duke Like MSU, Michael Platt’s Duke team held their opponents scoreless in last week’s semifinal, and their 4-0 victory was more than enough to earn them a place here on the big stage. Platt brings a one-two punch to the fray that’s going to be tough to defend against—his two-pronged approach to vivisecting involves drilling metal screws into monkeys’ skulls and implanting wire coils under their eyelids. Will Platt’s technical expertise with the brain screws be enough to get him past this final hurdle? Only you can decide. Leave a comment below to vote for Michael Platt and the Duke Devils to bring home the title.

Happy voting, and be sure to tune in next week when we crown the winner and take a nostalgic walk back through some of the tournament’s highlights and disappointments.

After Oprah aired a hard-hitting exposé of puppy mills last week, the folks at the American Kennel Club had the audacity to publicly praise the show, while they were presumably maneuvering frantically behind the scenes to make sure that the breeders they’ve been vigorously defending for decades don’t take a hit as a result. PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote to Oprah yesterday to thank her for doing the show and to point out that the AKC is no friend of dogs and never has been. You can read her letter here.

LightTheNight / CC

Hanna will take the stage for a fun-filled presentation highlighting his many adventures with a mix of DVD clips and inspirational stories about conservation, travel and wildlife. His program includes live animals such as panthers, snow leopards, porcupines, kangaroos and penguins. PSBR will present Jungle Jack Hanna with its “Community Service Award,” for his public support of humane animal based research and outspokenness regarding the positive nature of the field of biomedical research.

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up: Jack Hanna, who’s made a career out of keeping animals confined and dragging them along with him on the talk-show circuit, is giving a “fun-filled” presentation about kangaroos and porcupines frolicking in the wild to a room full of people who professionally advocate for increased animal experimentation. Unbelievable.

Thanks to Genevieve H for the tip, and thanks to Jack Hanna for making my day that much more surreal.

In case any of you missed it, actor and gun-enthusiast Charlton Heston died over the weekend. So anyone who’s been patiently waiting in line to try and pry the guns from his cold, dead hands can go ahead and do so now. While part of me is sad to see one of my childhood heroes go (Ben Hur pretty much changed my life), I’m sure there are plenty of orphaned deer who don’t share those sentiments. Anyway, RIP Charlton H. I’m guessing they probably don’t allow people to hunt defenseless animals with high-powered assault rifles in heaven, but hopefully he’ll be able to find a more peaceful hobby in the afterlife.

Chieftan.com / CC

April 4 marks the 40th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination. As we reflect on the violent killing of a man who stood for peace and equality, it’s a good time to ask ourselves what we are doing — because there’s so much we can do - to help humanity reach those goals.

We may not be able to stop all the violence in the world, but each of us has the power to end the violence and suffering we’re responsible for every time we sit down to eat, simply by choosing humane vegetarian foods instead of meat, dairy, and eggs. The animals who are killed for our food never have the freedom to do anything natural or enjoyable. They spend their frightened often pain-wracked lives crammed into tiny and filthy cages or pens before being violently killed (many have their throats slit and are scalded or dismembered while still conscious) in slaughterhouses.

After all these years, it is high time we opened our hearts and spoke up to oppose violence in all its forms. We can all make a start by showing others how easy it is to wipe violence off our plates.

-Ingrid E. Newkirk, President, PETA

The votes are in, and the contest is getting even more intense, as the four remaining universities square off in this week’s Fatal Four! We’ve had some nailbiting upsets and some unseemly blowouts since this competition began a few weeks ago, but I can say without reservations that the four remaining contestants deserve to be here. So let’s bring this thing to its breathtaking conclusion: Leave a comment to vote for the two schools you want to see next week … in PETA’s March Mad Scientist Final Showdown.

Here are your matchups:

Physorg/Creative Commons Michael Platt, Duke Michael Platt drills metal screws into monkeys’ skulls for a living, and he’s not afraid to implant the occasional wire coil under their eyelids when push comes to shove. It’s this “nothing’s impossible” attitude that has helped Michael get the Duke team in contention to win it all this year, despite an extremely strong field consisting of some of the cruelest vivisectors in the world.

Wisc.edu/Creative Commons Ei Terasawa, UW-Madison Regardless of which team wins in the end, UW-Madison’s Ei Terasawa will most certainly be in contention for “MVP of the Tournament” honors. Ei’s signature move, the “push-pull perfusion” technique, involves a two-chambered pipe, a few bottles of chemicals, a restraint chair, and a live monkey’s brain. It’s Ei’s unique ability to combine these objects in surprising ways that has brought her team all the way to the Fatal Four. Will it be enough to get them to the finals?

MSU.edu/Creative Commons Arthur Weber, Michigan State We highlighted Arthur Weber in the Sick Sixteen a couple of weeks ago, but he didn’t need any help to advance his team in the tournament. Arthur’s longtime practice of removing cats’ eyes while they’re still alive is more than enough to make Michigan State a strong contender to take home the big prize this year.

Indybay/Creative Commons Alan Schatzberg, Stanford But don’t discount Alan Schatzberg and his colleague David Lyons! These guys have put Stanford in a position to pull off a big upset this week, with their hard work in Stanford’s Department of Psychiatry and Behavior Sciences traumatizing the hell out of some monkeys. Schatzberg and Lyons’ signature move of implanting wires into primates’ brains may be just enough to get them into the big show.

Leave a comment to vote for the winner of each matchup, and we’ll see you next week in the finals!

Oprah Winfrey is going to be tackling puppy mills on her show today, so be sure to check it out (or Tivo it) if you get a chance. Puppy mills, which keep large quantities of purebred dogs in overcrowded, often shockingly inhumane conditions, are a well-kept secret of the pet-trade industry, and the animal protection community is extremely grateful to Oprah for exposing this major cause of pet overpopulation to a wide audience.

It’s standard practice for puppy mills—which supply animals to pet stores and purebred enthusiasts, without any concern for the millions who will die in shelters as a result—to keep animals in constant confinement, without proper veterinary care or socialization. It’s common to hear stories of puppy mills that are shut down on cruelty to animals charges (I posted about one a couple of weeks ago), but it’s nowhere near common enough—and these sordid operations will continue to thrive for as long as people support them by purchasing animals from pet stores or seeking out purebred animals from breeders.

You can find out what time the show will be airing where you live on Oprah’s site, and there’s more information about puppy mills, and you can learn more about PETA’s campaign to help companion animals here.

Here’s a sneak preview of a pair of ads targeting the cruel exotic-skins trade that will be featured in the latest issue of PETA’s Animal Times magazine.

We have a ways to go before people stop abusing these amazing animals for the sake of fashion accessories, but I did get one piece of good news today on the issue—Yves St. Laurent, who are among the worst offenders when it comes to using exotic skins in their designs, now have a vegan men’s Oxford shoe. It’s just a tad out of my price range, but a great sign of things to come.

Deflocked!

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To check out the archives of past strips, click here.

So a while back, I posted an entry on these here PETA Files calling out the Ross University School of Veterinary Medicine about numerous photographs we had received documenting the mutilation of animals who were forced to undergo multiple surgeries before being killed and cut apart at the university. Sounds like a pretty reasonable point for an animal protection organization to raise with a veterinary school, but our letters to the university met with enough resistance that we decided to launch an action alert encouraging people to contact the school about the issue.

The good news is that, after a few weeks of back and forth, the Ross folks cancelled all invasive and terminal dog surgeries, something that we—and a whole lot of dogs—were extremely grateful for. As my friend Shalin points out in his recent letter to the local newspaper, it’s totally cool by us if they want to claim that this development was a coincidence and had nothing to do with our requests—as long as they’re making the changes, that’s the important thing.

But we’re not quite finished yet. Ross is still conducting invasive and terminal surgeries on donkeys and sheep, and that needs to stop, like, ASAP. Plenty of veterinary schools are able to teach students to help animals without killing them first, and Ross should join that club sooner rather than later. They’ve already taken an important step in the right direction. I’ll keep you posted on how it all turns out.

Field Cate is the 10-year-old star of ABC’s smash-hit dramedy (Wikipedia assures me that this is a real word) Pushing Daisies, and he is more knowledgeable about a wide array of animal issues than most people twice his age. Here he is, holding forth on the ethics of vegetarianism, pet care, dissection, circuses, and animal testing. Seriously, when Field’s finished with being a TV star, he should run for president.

There’s more info, and a contest for kids to win a signed T-shirt, here.

Timeout / CC

In late June the Montreal Symphony are hosting a TV Special to salute Buffy Sainte-Marie's 50th year making music. I am honored to be asked to take part. I first bought a Buffy Sainte-Marie record when I was 12, and her music has always remained with me. In the 1960s, as a political activist, Buffy's lyrics were fearless, and I'm very grateful for all the risks that she took.

I am also pleased to be asked to join the bill at the V Festival at the Thunderbird Stadium in Vancouver, and also at Fort Calgary in Calgary.

However, as we all know, the psychologically and constitutionally sickening Canadian seal-kill has started and is once again in full-cry.

The horror of the Canadian seal-kill is untranslatable, and although I fully realize that highly concentrated evil exists in other countries - Japan's dolphin slaughter, Iceland's newly-revived whaling, the cat-skinning trade in Switzerland, and China with just about every injustice imaginable - there is something especially menacing about Canada's seal-kill.

Loyola Sullivan (Canada's Ambassador for Fisheries Conservation) is a man of glacial coldness who claims that the seal-kill is "humane" - a view he might alter if his own skull were cracked open with a spiked axe. The fact that the seal-kill provides a livelihood for fishermen is an insultingly dim excuse for it to take place - after all, the German gas chambers of World War 2 also provided work for someone.

The seal-kill takes place to satisfy greed for fur-pelts, and this Canadian government is happy to drag the global image of its own country down, and make it a place that people such as I couldn't bear to visit.
-Morrissey, 29 March 2008.

Does anyone else find it a bit depressing that everyone breaks out the party balloons after an animal gets taken off the Endangered Species list, when all it really means is that people can start the killing again? So it goes with the Gray Wolf, who now needs to start watching his back following an announcement that he’s no longer in imminent danger of extinction. Now that he’s off the list, he can once again be shot by ranchers who are protecting their flocks so they can kill them on their own time.

I’ve always thought that the “save endangered species” stuff was kind of a selfish notion at its core — as if we suddenly realized that the animals we’ve royally screwed over for generations actually enriched our lives just by being around, which apparently means that it’s time to panic for a few years and put them on a “safe list” until there are enough that we can start killing them again...

Anyway, the point is that the Gray Wolf is officially no longer on the Endangered Species List — but given the way we’ve treated these animals in the past and will now continue to treat them, I’m not sure I really feel like celebrating. Feel free to agree or disagree in the comments — I’d love to hear people’s opinions on this one.

Update: It looks like Environmental Graffiti had a similar mixed reaction to the news.

Norfolk’s annual Doo Dah Parade invites local organizations and business owners to march the streets in ludicrous outfits so that the citizens of this fine city can laugh at them. I’ve never quite figured out why this goes on, but it’s certainly a whole lot of fun. Tragically, I didn’t make it this year, but a lot of my colleagues did — all dolled up in dresses and wigs to show that “Fur Is a Drag” — so let’s take this opportunity to laugh at them now:

Steve, Matt, Thomas, and Tim "Danger" Hogarth


Joel S. Bartlett


Thomas and Joel


Mike


Travis

We’re debuting our very first branded food product today, and, being PETA, we figured we’d do something that would make a bit of a splash. We’re launching Newkirk Nuggets™ (patent pending), a cutting edge (and surprisingly delicious) animal-meat alternative created by cloning cells from an upper arm biopsy of PETA President Ingrid Newkirk who is “100% free range, grain fed, white meat.” It’ll be a little while before these bad boys appear in grocery stores, but we’re planning to generate some buzz about the new product by handing out free samples outside KFC restaurants here in Virginia, in the hopes that fast-food lovers with a taste for flesh will choose our “100 Percent Human(e) Alternative” instead of chowing down on the tortured remains of chickens inside a KFC. As Ingrid says, “They say everything tastes like chicken, and now so do I.”

The breakthrough has been in the making for 11 years in laboratories spread across three countries, working to grow animal tissue with the taste, texture and, most difficult of all, the “skin depth” or muscle mass of fish and chicken. According to the experts: “The tissue was taken from Ingrid’s upper arm and cultured in a “nutrient soup” of mushrooms, human collagen and soy broth to form myoblasts. The myoblasts reproduce rapidly to form ¾-inch-thick sheets of what PETA calls “100 per cent victimless meat.”

I know, it sounds a wee bit gross at first, but I suspect that anyone who really knows how meat is processed will welcome this safe, humane, and tasty alternative. Check it out: