The popular daytime court show Cristina’s Court is up for an Emmy nomination for a fantastic episode entitled “Requiem for a Pit bull,” in which Judge Cristina Perez stands up for the rights of these much-misunderstood animals during a case in which a man is accused of shooting and killing his neighbor’s pit bull, Capone, after the dog wandered into his yard.

Tragic as the story is, it’s an important reminder not to leave animals unsupervised under any circumstances (even if you don’t happen to have gun-happy neighbors), and the show highlights the urgent need for legislation to protect these dogs, who are systematically abused and mistreated because of the “macho” image they’ve been given in the popular media.

You can learn more about the episode here.

ABCNews / CC

OK, so we’re not exactly rushing to sign this guy up as the next PETA spokesperson, but he’s certainly got it right about zoos. Joe Francis — the intellectual force behind the Girls Gone Wild series — just got done serving time in prison after a contempt of court citation that occurred during a civil lawsuit brought against him by seven women who were underage when they were filmed for his videos. Apparently, being behind bars has given him a new perspective on the stress and misery of enforced confinement: In an interview with The Sports Junkies (an inexplicably popular DC radio show devoted to professional sports and bathroom humor), Joe said that he will never look at zoos in the same way again, pointing out that “the animals don’t want to be there … it’s unnatural.”

Well, I guess we’ve got something in common, Joe. Actually, two things.

Britney Spears Playing a Receptionist on How I Met Your Mother
Boston.com / CC

I haven’t always been as nice as I could be to Britney Spears over the past year or so, but if she pays attention to PETA’s latest attempt to reach out, I’ll have to change my tune in a hurry. Impressed by Britney’s performance as a receptionist on How I Met Your Mother last week, PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote to her on Friday to offer her a job. The hope is that a bit of time in the PETA offices will help her to change her mind about wearing fur and buying dogs from pet stores. MSNBC covered the story this morning, and you can read Ingrid’s letter below.

March 27, 2008

Britney Spears
[address redacted]

Dear Britney,

After seeing your excellent performance on How I Met Your Mother, PETA would like to offer you a real job as a receptionist. It could be for as little as an hour, and you would see—from the inside—why we are so concerned about issues like fur and homeless dogs and cats. As a "thank you" for your willingness to learn and help, we would donate $1,000 to a children's charity.

As PETA's "virtual receptionist," you will see firsthand the problems that we deal with every day. You would be able help the cats and dogs who linger in animal shelters because people have chosen to buy animals from breeders or pet stores. You will also personally respond to calls about our Animal Birth Control (ABC) campaign, which provides no- to low-cost spay/neuter surgeries and other services in underprivileged communities. You will explain to callers that every time someone buys a dog or cat from a breeder or a pet store instead of adopting from an animal shelter, a shelter animal loses a chance at ever finding a home. You will explain how 6 to 8 million unwanted dogs and cats enter U.S. animal shelters every year and how most will die simply because there are not enough good homes for them.

You would also tell people about the misery that foxes, chinchillas, and other animals suffer on fur farms and explain how mother animals caught in traps are so desperate to return to their young that they will often chew off a limb to escape. You will tell callers about the number of animals killed to make one fur coat and how these animals—like us—would prefer to love and enjoy life rather than be strangled, poisoned, or electrocuted. And you will never be the same again.

We might have criticized you in the past for contributing to the dog overpopulation crisis and wearing real fur, but perhaps now that your own crisis has abated, a new day calls for a new relationship, a new outlook, and a new understanding.

We wish you well and look forward to a positive response.

Very truly yours,

Ingrid E. Newkirk
President

Two PETA carriage horse monitors—who had been watching Central Park carriage drivers to document any cruelty to horses—were recently attacked by a man who shoved them and struck one of them on the head as they videotaped the hack line on Central Park South. We’re still waiting to find out whether the individual involved in the attack was a carriage horse driver himself or whether he’s just, like, a really big fan of their work, but I’ll post an update if we get any more information from the NYPD.

In the meantime, here’s your standard shaky-camera, profanity-laden youtube video of the encounter. For more information about the carriage horse industry and to find out what you can do to help carriage horses in New York, click here.

Seal boots, Gucci? Come on, guys. Did you think that just because you were selling them in Russia, we wouldn’t notice?

PETA’s Assistant Director, Matt Prescott, contacted Gucci CEO Robert Polet this week asking him whether he really wants his company associated with the seal hunt. Seriously, Gucci, when even Paris Hilton has worked out that something’s a moral outrage, there’s not a lot of room for saying you didn’t realize it was a problem.

You can contact Gucci about this latest lapse in judgement through the webform here.

Update: The Lehman monkeys—Wanda, Holly, Jada, Sophie, Samantha, and Lilly—have all arrived safely at a sanctuary and are currently living together as a group. In a little while, they’ll be integrated into a larger group of macaques at the sanctuary. Hooray!

Last month, a whistleblower contacted PETA to tell us that six monkeys who were about to be retired to a sanctuary from City University of New York's Lehman College had instead been sold to New York University for invasive neurological experiments.

The monkeys had originally been used in non-invasive learning and memory experiments in an NIH-funded laboratory overseen by one Dr. Karyl Swartz, who drew up a plan and set aside funds for the monkeys to live out the rest of their lives at a primate sanctuary. Enter the villain of this particular story, a lady named Christina Winnicker, who evidently objected to the plan and asked the experimental oversight committee to keep or sell the monkeys for further experimentation, despite the strong objections of Dr. Swartz and her colleagues. As a result, the monkeys were sold to an NYU laboratory for experiments that would likely have involved removing the tops of their skulls and implanting electrodes in their heads.

Anyway, as you’ve probably guessed from the title here, this one has a happy ending: After asking some pointed questions of both institutions, we received confirmation last week that Lehman College had thought better of their decision to sell these animals to NYU where they may have had their brains butchered. They’re now working with NYU to get them transferred to a sanctuary instead.

Which certainly brightened my day a bit.

Wanda and Jada, before being transferred from the Lehman laboratory.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any crazier, the quest to find the cruelest Division 1 College in the country has revved up a notch! All 16 of last week’s contenders proved tough teams to beat, but only 8 could advance, and despite some powerful showings from Pittsburgh, KSU, Washington State, OSU, Purdue, Hopkins, Vanderbilt, and the University of Washington, only the nastiest can prevail … so without further ado let’s get down to narrowing the field even further as we prepare to put these vivisectors on the national stage in the Fatal Four next week!

Just like last week, I’ll be highlighting what I consider to be the key matchup in this exciting tournament, and you can consult the cheat sheet to help determine who else to vote into the next round. Use the voting form or leave a comment to cast a vote for this week’s Vilest Vivisectors in the Evil Eight!

Duke University vs. Texas A&M

Physorg/Creative Commons Michael Platt, Duke Like ‘em or hate ‘em, Duke University always puts forward a strong team, and for the past decade, that’s been largely due to the work of their MVP, Michael Platt, who drills metal screws into monkeys’ skulls, pushes electrodes into their brains, and implants wire coils under their eyelids. A similar winning technique has been made popular by UConn’s David Waitzman—another strong contender in this tournament, so if we’re lucky, we may see a classic Big East/ACC showdown in the finals this year. The published results of Mr. Platt’s cruel experiments include such timeless pieces of knowledge as the fact that one rhesus macaque monkey will often look in the same direction as another rhesus macaque monkey, so there’s no question that Michael’s earning his keep! To vote for Michael Platt, use the form or leave a comment below.

TAMU/Creative Commons Michelle Hook, Texas A&M Texas A&M might traditionally be the underdog in this matchup, but don’t make the mistake of underestimating Michelle Hook of Texas A&M University’s Department of Psychology. Her medium of choice is rats, and from the sounds of it, there’s not much she hasn’t done when it comes to slicing and dicing these animals. Michelle’s preferred technique involves cutting up the animals’ spinal cords, injecting them with chili pepper solution, pushing them into restraint tubes, and electroshocking their hind legs. Hook’s world-beating conclusion speaks for itself: “These data suggest that peripheral inflammation, accompanying spinal cord injuries, might have an adverse effect on recovery.” You heard it here first, folks: Giving electric shocks to torture victims might slow down their recovery time! To vote for Michelle Hook, use the form or leave a comment below.

Use the dropdown menus to pick a winner!

Duke vs. Texas A&M Please Select Duke Texas A&M	UW-Madison vs. UConn Please Select UW Madison UConn
Michigan State vs. Harvard Please Select Michigan State Harvard	Stanford vs. UT Austin Please Select Stanford UT Austin

Cheat Sheet

University of Connecticut vs. UW Madison

University of Connecticut has a strong team this year, led by one of our very own Vivisectors of the Week, David Waitzman. We've heard a lot about David's unlawful brain experiments on monkeys, which have embarrassed the university into returning some of his grant money.

The UConn team are going up against the University of Wisconsin-Madison, where Ei Terasawa has been injecting drugs into conscious primates’ brains using the “push-pull perfusion” method. Terasawa surgically implanted “cranial pedestals” into the monkeys’ skulls and attached them to restraint chairs, where the monkeys remained immobilized for three full days.

Michigan State University vs. Harvard

Michigan State University’s Arthur Weber has a signature move that would frighten even the undead. This cat torturer's got his technique down pat: First he injures their optic nerve, then he dissects the overlying tissues, inserts a surgical hook, and places a clamp on the nerve. Next on the agenda: Wait for seven days until it's time to remove the cats' eyes while they're still alive!

Weber's up against some tough competition in the Harvard team: Harvard is home to the New England National Primate Research Center, which houses more than 2,000 nonhuman primates who are used in experiments. In 2004, 600 of these animals were subjected to painful and distressing experiments, and researcher data suggests that more than 90 percent of the primates have self-destructive or abnormal behavior.

Stanford vs. University of Texas at Austin

Alan Schatzberg and David Lyons of Stanford’s Department of Psychiatry and Behavior Sciences study severe depression and stress in juvenile monkeys by stressing them out and making them severely depressed. And the fact that Lyons and Schatzberg's esteemed colleagues spend their days implanting wires into monkey's brains probably contributes to the low morale amongst Stanford's caged-primate population.

Wilson Geisler and Eyal Seidemann of UT Austin’s Psychology Department use monkeys in experiments aimed at understanding which portions of the brain control eye movement. To conduct this work, Geisler and Seidemann “prepare” the monkeys by drilling holes into their skulls and cementing a stainless steel recording cylinder onto the brain membrane.

Seriously, these just keep getting better and better.

Click for a larger version

To check out the archives of past strips, click here.

Variety/Creative Commons

During a rare Alexander McQueen fashion show in New York last night, the designer (whose intentional use of fox heads and bird skulls has been called "desperate" by PETA’s president) got more than he bargained for. In the middle of the show, two PETA members with blood-red paint covering their hands leapt onto the catwalk and displayed signs reading, "Fur on your back, blood on your hands," before being tackled by security guards and dragged off the stage. As PETA President Ingrid Newkirk puts it,

"McQueen's macabre designs might be intended to titillate, but they simply nauseate. There is nothing remotely 'fashionable' about the torture and death of animals killed for something that a caveperson would wear."

Hopefully this will serve as a message to McQueen and others who condone the torture of animals for their designs that compassionate people will not continue to indulge their cruel fetishes, and that their archaic sense of what’s “fashionable” will soon be little more than an ugly footnote in the history books. That, or they’ll obliviously keep it up until some legislator has the good sense to ban fur farming for good and put them out of business. Whichever comes sooner is fine with me.

I’ll update this entry with more info as this story develops.

I probably don't mention my colleagues in peta2 as much as I should on this blog. This is primarily because I am jealous of their youth, their vivacity, and their general "too-cool-for-school" attitude. But sometimes they put something together so good that it can't be ignored (no matter how hard one might try), and their new "Fur Is Dead" campaign definitely falls into that category.

They've partnered with the folks at Skelanimals to help garner support for their "100,000 strong against fur" petition, and judging by the number of signatures so far (38,631!), the whole thing's going pretty well. You can check out the site here. The photo gallery of kids wearing the peta2 "Fur Is Dead" bunny ears is more or less fantastic.

After TMZ posted documents last week showing that Aretha Franklin is facing foreclosure, the story has been reported everywhere. Well, despite the fact that we've had the occasional run-in with the Queen of Soul, we're willing to bury the hatchet and even help her out of her recent financial troubles by paying her $19,000 ... provided that she agrees to stop wearing fur and donate her unwanted furs to PETA as Mariah Carey and Kim Cattrall have done.

You can read PETA's letter to Aretha below, and, as always, those lightning-quick reporters over at TMZ are first on the scene with the full story.

The guys who run ICanHasCheezburger.com gave one of the most inspired and hilarious talks at South by Southwest this year, and, when they gave away burgers to everyone in the crowd at the end of the discussion, they made a point of providing lots of veggie burgers, which I thought was very decent of them. I know I'm not the only person in the office who's a devotee of the site, because a ton of people have been sending me this little gem, which they posted yesterday.

see more crazy cat pics

The Honorable Tom Rideout
Credit: CBC/CC

Bad PETA Germany! What were you guys thinking? Did you even take a second to think that you might be hurting the feelings of the Newfoundland Fisheries Minister when you released a video depicting the horrors of the seal slaughter that he presides over? No, of course you didn’t. And look what happened. Because of your heartless disregard for the complicated emotional needs of Canadian Fisheries Ministers (and this isn’t the first time you’ve upset defenseless bureaucrats, is it, PETA Germany?), you’ve gone and hurt The Honorable Tom Rideout’s feelings. What do you have to say for yourselves?

Here’s how it’s all going down, according to Newfoundland’s Western Star newspaper:

"The provincial government is alarmed by a new anti-sealing video which is being distributed by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) 2, in Germany. The Honourable Tom Rideout, Minister of Fisheries and Aquaculture, expressed his disappointment and concern that this group would draw such a vile comparison to the Canadian sealing industry, which includes one of the most well-managed harvests anywhere in the world. The video compares the harvesting of seals to the violent physical abuse of a human."

And Minister Rideout has been eloquent on the subject of his “disappointment” in a press release that he’s been sending around:

“We are now witnessing a new low on the part of anti-sealing organizations. We in Newfoundland and Labrador have become accustomed to the misinformation and inaccurate depictions of the seal harvest that are presented around this time every year. However, this particular attack is the most vile that I have ever seen myself in my almost 30 years in public life. It is completely indecent for this group of people, who have likely never even visited our province, to present such a disturbing depiction of sealers. It is ironic that this group, which is making such an unethical attack, has the word ethical in its name. Their ethics are certainly nowhere to be seen in this approach to addressing their concerns with the Canadian sealing industry. It is also ironic that this attack is coming from Germany where there is a harvest of wild animals including the hunt of 1.2 million deer and over 500,000 wild boars per year.”

Now, there are those who would say that drawing attention to the vicious bludgeoning and skinning of live seals is worth disappointing the occasional Fisheries Minister, but to those people I ask this question: What about the emotional bludgeoning that Mr. Rideout might have experienced as a result of having to watch video footage depicting the horrific acts that his government is condoning? It almost seems as if my counterparts in PETA Germany (who, as the Minister so astutely points out, live in a country that still allows deer hunting and should therefore not be allowed even to talk about cruel hunting practices that occur elsewhere in the world) don’t care at all about whether their video about the internationally reviled Canadian seal hunt offends some functionary in the Newfoundland Ministry of Fisheries and Aquaculture. Unbelievable.

This is the video in question:

And this is the footage it’s referencing. Tom Rideout calls it a “harvest.” I call it an atrocity. You say tomato …

If you speak a bit of German, you can learn more here.

If you guessed 25,703, you’re exactly right! I’ve got some more statistics for you, too, because I wanted to provide some concrete numbers to give a bit of context to this photo, which recently won The National Geographic International Photography Contest. The deeply disturbing image, which shows caged monkeys awaiting their fate at a medical laboratory in Hubei Province, China, depicts one small part of a nightmare that continues every day for thousands of primates who are used in barbaric, wasteful experiments. Some stats:

China, where the award-winning photo was taken, was the source of nearly 58 percent of all primates imported into the U.S.

More than 46 percent of all primates brought to this country were imported by Covance. Covance was also responsible for all 25 of the largest shipments of primates (200 or more) into the U.S.

Just three companies – huge, multi-national contract testing organizations that conduct animal experiments for profit – account for more than 75 percent of primate imports for 2007:

1. Covance: 11,935 (46.43 percent)
2. Charles River: 6,140 (23.89 percent)
3. SNBL: 2,400 (9.34 percent)

Close to 98 percent of all primates imported into this country are macaque monkeys, like those shown in the photo. These monkeys are imported strictly for vivisection.

And the photo itself is a doozy.

ThisNext/Creative Commons

This little piece of good news comes to you courtesy of my friend (and occasional PETA Files blogger) Joel Bartlett, who spends more time in our local Starbucks than some of the people who work there. (Incidentally, Joel, who is PETA’s Marketing Manager, actually seems to have something of an obsession with coffee-marketing news).

“Loyalty benefits. Starting in mid-April, customers who use registered Starbucks cards in select U.S. and Canadian stores will get several benefits: Starbucks will not charge for any syrups, milk alternatives and other extras added to drinks, no matter how numerous or complex. Senior Vice President Michelle Gass said she isn't concerned that will lead to more expensive, time-consuming orders.”
From: SeattlePI.com

Soy lattes will always be cooler, more fancy, and less pus-filled than the dairy version, but now they’re just as affordable.

And, for those of you still hankering for more good news on the soy latte front, here’s an update on the Dunkin’ situation. I’ll keep you posted.

Things could get really nasty here, and I can’t help but feel that we’re partially responsible. According to the celebrity gossip blogs (I read them so you don’t have to) Heroes hottie Kristen Bell has been sparring with her co-star Russell Brand about who’s really the sexiest vegetarian of the two. Here’s what Kristen had to say about the escalating battle on the set of Forgetting Sarah Marshall:

"Russell has been a vegetarian for the same amount of time as me. I've been a vegetarian for 17 years and we used to have little arguments because we were both dubbed Sexiest Vegetarian in the World. But I checked out the record books and his is only Sexiest Vegetarian in the U.K. I politely threw that in his face for most of the movie. He got to throw it back at me when I lost my title this year to Carrie Underwood and he kept his title in the U.K. So that's what I get for getting cocky about eating sexy vegetables!"

I’m not sure who has the strongest argument here, but for what it’s worth, I’m rooting for you, Kristen.

TheTailSection/CC

Do it. It’s amazing.

Here’s the big news I was hinting at in the last post: H&M, which recently pledged to stop buying wool from Australian sources that still use the mulesing mutilation (essentially, slicing up sheep’s backsides), has set off a chain reaction throughout Europe: Following H&M’s announcement, 17 other major Swedish retailers have made the same pledge, and a coalition of 31 European retailers have announced that they are considering or have decided to stop using wool from mulesed lambs. On top of all this, 10 Danish retailers have withdrawn their support of mulesing, and the Western Australia Department of Agriculture has announced that it will stop mulesing.

What does this all add up to? The total amount of cancelled orders of Aussie wool from Europe as a result of these decisions comes to 550,000 bales of wool. This is a big wakeup call to Aussie wool farmers who continue to mutilate lambs, and a strong message to wool industry executives that their continued refusal to adopt humane practices will directly affect their bottom line.

For more information on the fallout from this recent outcry against the Australian wool industry, here’s the letter that PETA President Ingrid Newkirk sent to Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd last week:

I just got an email asking why I never posted about PETA's recent Chipotle victory and pointing out that for activists, hearing about these successes can make a huge difference as far as showing that their hard work is paying off and that, slowly but surely, we’re changing both public opinion and the attitudes of large corporations about how animals should be treated. Which, well, fair enough. So this post’s all about good news. Check it:

1. Following negotiations between PETA and Chipotle Mexican Grill, the company has agreed to give purchasing preference to suppliers that use controlled-atmosphere killing, by far the most humane method of slaughter in existence. Here’s what PETA Vice President Bruce Friedrich says about the decision:
   
   

   "While we wish that Chipotle's customers would stick to the great vegetarian items on the menu, the company should be commended for taking steps to improve the dying conditions for some of the animals who are killed for its restaurants."

2. Grocery chain Harris Teeter, which recently adopted an extremely progressive new animal welfare policy after talking with our Corporate Affairs Department, agreed to drop its promotion of the Ringling Bros. Circus after we let the company know about Ringling’s abusive practices.
3. Just hours after PETA posted an action alert about a cruel display planned for the Discovery Science Center in Orange County (they were going to put an elephant inside a giant bubble), the center posted a statement on their site saying they’d cancelled the event.

All this in just the past couple of weeks. Boo ya!

For a little behind-the-scenes info about our Corporate Affairs Department, which has been an integral part of getting a lot of these things done, check out this piece that recently appeared in The Boston Globe.

I’ve got another victory coming your way, but this one’s so big it merits a separate post. Stay tuned!

At 7 p.m. tonight, at the Paley Festival in Los Angeles, the stars and creators of Buffy the Vampire Slayer are reuniting for a panel discussion about the Buffy phenomenon and the future of the Buffyverse. If you already knew this, then you’ll probably be as excited as I am about the fact that I have, right here, a PETA Files exclusive interview with not one, but two Buffy alumni. And if you have no idea at all what I’m talking about, you need to run (do not walk) to your nearest video store, rent seasons 1 through 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and maybe stock up on food, water, and Depends on your way back so you can watch the entire show uninterrupted. I’m deadly serious here, people.

Amber Benson, who played 'Tara' in Buffy, is starring in the upcoming comedy Kiss the Bride, and Tom Lenk (Buffy’s “Andrew”) is currently performing with the Upright Cabaret in Los Angeles. They are both awesome and I love them. Here's what they had to say:

Amber

Now Showing on PETA TV: Amber Benson

Tom

When and how did you first become aware of PETA's work?

I think it was in middle school. All I can remember was that it had something to do with the B-52's and their "Cosmic Thing" album...

What animal issues are especially dear to your heart?

In high school I worked after hours at a Veterinary office, mopping and cleaning. It was a horrible job and I was not very good at it. And side note, I am TERRIBLY allergic to cats, so vaccuming up cat hair every day might not have been the best career choice. Anyway, there was always a constant rotation of abandoned, homeless pets in need of medical care. They were in pain a lot of time, or being nursed back to health. It was devastating. Some nights I would show up at work and they would just be gone, and I would never know if someone adopted them or if they had passed away. I never asked though...it was just too sad. So clearly pet overpopulation is an animal issue close to my heart. Thank you to PETA for continuing to spread the word about always spaying and neutering your pets.

Do you have any animals at home? If so, tell us about them.

I am currently Godfather....or should i say Dogfather and regular dogsitter to two crazy poodles. Penny and Mr. Teets. Penny belongs to my friend Elisa, and Mr. Teets to my friend Jenny. I once tried to set the two dogs up on a date. Mr. Teets immediately peed at Penny's floor and refused to play with her. I even took them to the dog park. Penny organized a pack of small dogs into chasing her feverishly. Clearly she likes attention. Mr. Teets watched all of this from my lap and silently judged all of them. He couldn't be bothered with their dog-like behavior. Mr. Teets may be under the impression that he's just a very small man. I've attatched some pictures. Penny has recently started modeling. Doesn't she look gorgeous in her purple Bolero coat? And teets in denim sportcoat? Coats made of cotton and acrylic fibers only of course.

What do you think of PETA's sometimes controversial campaigns?

All publicity is good publicity. Controversy gets people talking and sends more people to your website where they can get informed.

Your fans from Buffy know Andrew as the reformed bad-guy who helps save the world from the end of the world. If you could do one thing for animals that you think would make the world a better place what would you do?

I would put this woman behind bars:

Andrew was known for being a story teller. Do you have any stories you could share with us about any animals in your life?

I have so many animal stories, I don't know where to start. I'm actually working on my latest solo comedy show or rather solo tragi-comedy show...tentatively called Tom Lenk's Heavy Petting Zoo. It's a collection of hilarious and sometimes devastating stories about all of the pets I had as a kid. I grew up in an hour north of L.A. in Ventura County in an old Farmhouse complete with barn and underground storm shelter. We had soooo many pets through the years and it was so odd, because we never bought any of them...people would give us them, we'd rescue them, and a lot of times they just wandered into our yard. I had a pet duck, Peepers, that i found in my driveway in 6th grade. We never could figure out where he came from. I scooped him up and he was so tiny, fluffy and yellow. He was too young to be away from his mother or live outside, so i fashioned him a little house out of a cardboard box, complete with a warming light in case he got cold...and he stayed in my room. I named him Peepers because at night he would start peeping so loud! I think because he missed his family. :( I would pick him up and hold him and he would nuzzle up against my stomach and finally go to sleep. Then I would gently put him back in his little house, and of course he would wake up again and I would repeat this process several times through the night. Finally I realized he just wanted to know that someone was there. For several weeks, I ended up sleeping on the floor next to his box with my arm dangling inside it. The mere sight of my hand inside the box calmed him for some reason. When he became an almost full sized adolescent duck, Peepers had his own fenced in yard complete with child's swimming pool. His own puberty was mimicking my own. His once tiny high pitched "peep" was gradually and awkardly becoming a deep adolescent "quack". And since he was an orphan and the closest thing to a duck was our dogs, his "quack" sounded a lot like a dog's "bark." Peepers was so sweet and tame that anyone could hold him and pet him and he would follow me around like a puppy dog...I miss that duck.

Andrew had the power to control the behavior of animals. If you could control the behavior of humans instead what would you do that would help animals?

He had that power? Hmm...i'll have to do some research.

How do you feel about the development of Andrew in the comic book? Is it strange to watch this amazing character you created take on a life of its own?

Well, to be honest I don't know if I created him. I think the writers on the show created him. And in fact I guess I should thank actor Brad Kane who was unable to film the role of Tucker, so they created Tucker's Brother, Andrew. Lucky me. When I first read the comicbook and saw Andrew for the first time and he was talking about Lando or something...it made me a little sad. I realized I missed him. But he seems to be doing just fine without me. :)

If you were the writer in what direction would you take Andrew's character?

Maybe he starts working out a lot and I get in really great shape and I become some sort of leading man type despite my odd voice and quirky mannerisms...I mean HE, um Andrew. Yeah that's what I meant.

What do you have coming up? Any live performances?

Catch me performing with Upright Cabaret, L.A.'s wayward home for Broadway singers! And I will keep you posted with dates for "Tom Lenk's Heavy Petting Zoo." Hmmm, cross promotion and possible fundraiser? Let's discuss.

Amy from the VegCooking blog here. It's that time of the year again for The Great American Meatout—the annual grassroots diet education campaign. Supporters worldwide donate a little of their time to educate the public about delicious vegan cuisine by giving speeches, leafleting, providing food samples, and giving cooking demonstrations. This is exactly where I come in.

I'm confident in saying that I am more of a food expert than Jack, who has admitted to making the same meal for dinner every night for months at a time, which is wh