I love it! This one is a real winner. It’s got the Trollsens and it’s New Years relevant!

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To check out the archives of past strips, click here.

- Joel

Did we need more evidence to know that no-kill shelters are not the solution?

According to news reports two members of a no-kill animal rescue group will serve time behind bars for keeping nearly 300 dogs and cats in squalid conditions.

Former Noah’s Ark Animal Rescue, CA owner Alexiea Tiraki-Kyrklund was sentenced to 16 months in prison, and Gloria Yvette Ramos, head volunteer at the shelter, was sentenced to a year in jail and five years probation for felony animal cruelty.

According to prosecutors, animal control officers found 152 dogs and 147 cats inside the building, and a state-licensed veterinarian determined that the conditions were detrimental to the animals' health and safety.

The defense attorney argued that most of the animals had been in poor health when they were rescued from other facilities and that his clients "didn't do anything wrong."

It’s that last quote about not doing anything wrong that bothers me. The police only found out about this because the stench was so overwhelming. If humans were overpowered by a smell beyond closed doors, imagine what the animals, with their sensitive noses, were subjected to inside! Good intentions can cause as much harm to animals as the worst abusers sometimes.

- Joel

Animals are pretty impressive. Most of them are faster than us humans. Many of them are stronger. And now we see that some are even smarter than some of us.

This isn’t a new story, but it just keeps floating around and has finally made its way to my inbox. Researchers in Japan have showed that chimpanzees can outdo college kids with some counting and memory games. Watch some of the videos below (and then scour YouTube for more). Along a related note here’s a nice clip of a crow using a tool.

For those who like to reader in the audience, here’s a great piece from the Sunday New York Times Magazine about “the two greatest nonhuman linguists of our day: Washoe, the sign-language-wielding chimpanzee with an intense footwear fetish; and Alex, the wildly outspoken parrot.”

It all begs the question, what are we going to do in 2008 knowing now without question how smart animals are?

- Joel

If you haven’t seen it yet, it is imperative that you watch this new video for our ABC Campaign, which is both an initiative to educate people about the importance of spaying and neutering their animals, and stop breeders from pumping out thousands of pups every year who take homes from those destined to die in shelters. What I like about Sex Talk, and the other spot we’ve put together for this campaign, is that it’s a lot more than just a funny ad. There’s something about it that makes you really uncomfortable—which, I guess, is exactly what a proper chat about the birds and the bees is supposed to. Check it out if you haven’t seen it yet, and you can watch the other video (Buy One, Get One Free) here.

When tragedy strikes at such a large scale as with the assassination of Former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto and death of 20 others, it’s impossible to ignore its impact.

A colleague sent me the following quote by Ms. Bhutto that I did think readers of this blog would find interesting and worth passing along. “A Vegetarian diet keeps me fit in spite of the strains of office. All Muslims should take to Vegetarianism, or otherwise the livestock would not be found."

Over six years ago I wrote an op-ed for my college school paper titled “For peace’s sake, stop eating meat”. I might not agree with everything I wrote six years ago, but I still believe that there’s a strong relationship between the respect we give both our human and animal companions on this planet. Is it so hard to just be kind?

If Ms. Bhutto’s words do inspire you to explore vegetarianism here’s a free Vegetarian Starter Kit to help you along the way.

- Joel

Trollsen Twin Update
Page Six reported earlier this week that Hairy-Kate and Trashley are “groveling at the non-leather shoes of PETA” in response to our Trollsen Twin campaign. According to one source,

"The Olsens want to make peace with PETA." Well Trollsens, I think we’ve made our demands clear. Stop supporting the cruel and frivolous torture of animals. Cut it out!

Hey Charities, Stop Testing on Animals. OK?
OK! magazine had an article in their January issue about how Sir Paul McCartney has been unable to honor the memory of his first wife Linda by giving money to some cancer charities because they support vivisection (that’s a big word for animal experimentation), which Linda was passionately against.

‘It became very difficult when Linda died because I said I would support cancer charities,’ said Sir Paul. ‘But then animal rights group wrote to me pointing out that many were heavily into vivisection.’

Check out HumaneSeal.org to see if charities you’re interested in supporting fund animal experimentation.

Jack Hanna—Expert on Tiger Attacks
By now everyone has heard about the tragic tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo on Christmas. What you might not know is how you can help make sure a similar tragedy never happens again by urging the zoo to permanently close their tiger exhibit.

One bit of irony that a reader of this blog pointed out to me is how the media has been trotting out everyone’s favorite wildlife pimp Jack Hanna as an expert on exotic animals. But maybe that does make sense, after all Jack was involved in a similar incident in 1973 when a lion at his menagerie tore off the arm of a kid. Almost 35 years later and he still hasn’t stopped abusing animals...

Are you sexy?
Prove it.

- Joel

What was PETA up to in 2007? Watch this video to find out.

The video really captures how kick ass we all are. And by “we” I mean all of us who fight for animals. We pretty much rule.

File this one under “hilarious.”

PETA Asia-Pacific had planned to take the dolls on a tour of red-light districts, including Pat Pong in Bangkok, Kings Cross in Sydney, Kabukicho in Japan, and the Philippines' Angeles City. The dolls were confiscated by customs officials when they arrived in the Philippines via U.S.-based package carrier UPS en route to PETA Asia-Pacific's office in Makati.

"The blow-up dolls were a trouble-free prop because KFC also treats chickens like inanimate objects," says PETA Asia-Pacific Director Jason Baker. "KFC profits from using crude killing methods—the company has an international obligation to stop torturing the birds who end up dead in its buckets. We're calling on people worldwide to boycott KFC until the company implements minimal animal welfare standards."

Next maybe PETA Asia-Pacific will challenge KFC’s executives to Beirut to decide the fate of the 850 million chickens raised and killed for KFC.

I’m a fan of lists. I’m also a fan of Jack Shepherd (as in the guy who usually writes this blog not the doctor on Lost—though I like him too). Jack’s off enjoying the holidays with his family so I thought I’d use part of my time on the blog to spotlight some of Jack’s non-blog work at PETA. (Hopefully Jack will keep this in mind when he comes back and sees all the typos I left on “his blog.”)

Jack’s primary job duty other than writing The PETA Files is coordinating what we call “online viral projects”—projects that are funny, shocking, or emotional in some other way so much that when people see them they forward them on to their friends and the content spreads around the Internet through word of mouth.

My 10 Favorite Projects That Jack Masterminded

or

The Ten Projects that I’m Most Proud to Have Worked with Jack On

1. Super Chick Sisters
Super Chicks Sisters, a parody of Super Mario Bros. that highlights KFC’s abusive practices was Jack’s first mega-hit. We really made an impression on the gaming world—and Jack knows better than anyone that it’s a tough world to penetrate. Over a half a million people have played Super Chick Sisters on our web sites. Probably an equal amount of people have played it on other sites. Not bad!

2. Trollsen Twins: Full House of Horror Video

Jack Shepherd is Futureman.

3. Santa Got Run Over by His Reindeer
Jack not only wrote the lyrics but he sang the song as well. It’s the singing that gets it the high ranking. I love the whole animation because it highlights how we have a sense of humor about ourselves.

4. State of the Union Undress
Jack certainly has an interesting job! He’s paid to recruit his co-workers to shed their clothes for the Internet. Watch the video if you don’t know what I’m talking about. This makes the top 5 of my list of favorite projects because it’s a great example of how ballsy PETA is. We’re not afraid to be edgy and neither are the brave individuals who work for PETA who are willing to put themselves out there.

3. Trollsen Twins: Dress Up the Trollsens
This campaign, which is about how Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen should stop promoting and wearing fur, is so wonderful it’s on the list twice! We had been talking about doing a dress up dolls game for over a year before the Trollsens campaign came around and we knew we had a match.

6. KFC Cruelty Sign Generator
I love this project because it’s something KFC should have done themselves and probably would have if they had thought of it. Although their version would have educated far fewer people about cruelty to animals…

7. PETA’s Holiday Snow Globe E-card

Jack was the voice of Tiny Tim in a holiday e-card that didn't make the cut.

8. The Fast Food Nation Game
This game, which we created to help promote the Fast Food Nation movie is truly addictive. When making this list I got sidetracked and had to play the game for 20 minutes. Actually every time someone so much as mentions it I have to play it through again. It has a power over me.

9. Burberry Chavs
Thank goodness Jack is British. Otherwise I don’t know how we would have pulled this one off. It’s a great project though because it’s funny even if you don’t know what a “chav” is. I’d explain what this project is but really you just have to experience it for yourself.

10. Pirates of the Carob Bean
I’m obsessed with choose your own adventure stories. In fact this project is almost like Jack’s present to me (Thank you, Jack!). The jokes were actually a bit too niche nerdy for this to be the hit we had hoped but I love it enough to make up for the rest of the world not knowing it exists.

Jack has done many voices for animations, including this one that's not on my list.

So if you haven’t already take some time to explore all of these web sites and send them along to your friends who might be open to animal rights but need a soft approach. These projects should warm them right up.

- Joel

Senator Robert C. Byrd of West Virginia has been named PETA’s “Person of the Year.” Byrd has been recognized with the award for his passionate defense of animals throughout six decades of public service.

The senior senator, who was a meat cutter in his youth, has evolved into a tireless advocate for improving legal protection for animals, including animals who are slaughtered for food. The following are a few of Byrd's many efforts in behalf of animals:

"Sen. Byrd is never shy about making his strong belief in the importance of animal protection heard," says PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk. "Much animal suffering has been alleviated thanks to Sen. Byrd, and this year we are proud to honor him for giving a voice to the voiceless."

Thank you for all of your hard work for animals, Senator!

And to be clear, PETA does not support or oppose any candidate for public office or any political party.

- Joel

Natalie Portman has announced a new line of vegan shoes in conjunction with Te Casan. The shoes are available for pre-order on January 15 and 5% of profits will be going to charity. Natalie, of course, is a longtime vegetarian and has long made it clear that she only sports fashion that does not come from animals.

Unfortunately that’s all the info that has been released. Hopefully we’ll see prices and the actual products soon. As much as I don’t normally care about shoes, I’m actually pretty curious about these. Maybe it’s because I spent much of my high school and college years praying that Natalie and I would run off and get married. Or at least meet.

Natalie, if you’re reading this I just want you to know that I’m officially over you. I’m 100% committed to Kristen Bell now. I’m sorry to break it to you this way. The good news is that Jack is still interested. Maybe we can go on double-dates or something.

- Joel

I first put a version of this list together when a couple of my friends were moving away from Norfolk, Va. and it got me thinking about where I would eat my last meals in Norfolk if I were ever to move away (Don’t worry Ingrid, I never will!). So here’s a list of the 10 best meals Norfolk has to offer, voted on by a panel of me.

10. Machismo—Boca Burrito with all the veggies and vegan sour cream and vegan cheese. I think maybe machismo means “Home of the Monster Burrito” in Spanish.

9. Dragon City—Vegetable Dumplings as an appetizer followed by vegan General Tso's Chicken. It’s Chinese fast food just as you want it—greasily delicious!

8. Taco Bell—Two Crunch Wraps with beans substituting beef, no nacho cheese, no sour cream, add guacamole. Taco Bell is wonderfully delicious (that’s right, I said it), but I’m including it on my list because the employees there are so nice. Who would've thought it'd be the Taco Bell employees who would be the nicest?

7. Yorgo's Bageldashery—Chickette Sandwich on a Poppy Seed Bagel with a Toasted Sesame Seed Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. It shouldn't be special to have vegan cream cheese at a bagel shop, but it is, so kudos to Yorgo's.

6. Rajput—Vegetable Samosa as an appetizer (of course!) followed by some Palak Tofu as the main course. It's always been a dream of mine to write a book of reviews of samosas. I essentially never pass up the opportunity to order one. The owners of Rajput are super friendly, I love the copper cups, and I really love the Palak Tofu.

5. Kotobuki—Veggie Sushi and some fake meat dish (hmm… lets go with the teriyaki ham). Something about funky table and being forced to take off my shoes really makes me like it there. Plus I love courses – and when you get a salad, sushi, and a main dish you'll get plenty. And if you order enough sushi then it comes on a wooden boat (a boatload of sushi!)

4. Tap House—Chickette Sandwich. It's not just the food that makes me love Tap House, though I do like the newish chickette sandwich and their fries are delicious. I also give the Tap House points because it’s nice that Neil knows what I drink—though I guess water isn’t the most difficult order to remember…Oh, and while eating there put in some of quarters in the wonderful indie rock filled juke box and play some pool.

3. Bangkok Garden—Spring Rolls for an appetizer; Garlic Tofu for the main course. This one kinda goes without saying. Garlic Tofu is just such a staple I always feel like I should order something different but I have so much trouble bringing myself to.

2. Amalfi—Veggie pizza with faux chicken and soy cheese; Vegan Cheesecake for dessert. It's a little pricier than most of these other meals but amazingly delicious—'nuff said.

1. Bella's Pizzeria—Soy cheese pizza Bianca-style, with olives and broccoli. The soy cheese novelty/wonderfulness makes Bella an easy choice as my favorite. It's the one restaurant I really crave going to and conveniently it’s the restaurant closest to my home.

There’s a lot more great food in Norfolk, these are just my favorite meals. If you’ve visited Norfolk or live here, post your favorite meals that the area has to offer.

And if you’re on the fence about wanting to apply to work for PETA I hope this run down of some of the wonderful food in the area helps push you along the way.

- Joel

Several employees of Murphy Family Ventures, which owns pig-breeding farms that supply Smithfield Foods, the country's largest pork producer, were fired in response to PETA’s recent undercover investigation released less than two weeks ago. You can read more about this development in the investigation in a great piece by FoxNews.com.

A big “Thank You” is deserved for the thousands of people who contacted Smithfield to take action against the abusive employees. If you haven’t already, please write to Smithfield Foods to demand that Murphy Family Ventures work with PETA to enact meaningful animal welfare reforms.

This is a sample of cruelty documented by PETA’s undercover investigator that should convince you that welfare reforms are very much needed:

• Workers dragged injured pigs out of the facility by their snouts, ears, and legs before killing them with a captive-bolt gun. Some of the pigs had "KILL" spray-painted on their backs.


• A farm supervisor admitted that he violently beat pigs, saying of one that he "cut the sh** out of his God damn nose with a f***ing gate rod."


• Workers cut off piglets' tails and pulled out piglets' testicles—without using any pain relief—as the baby animals screamed in pain in front of mother pigs.


• Two workers and a supervisor hit and jabbed pigs—sometimes in their faces and near their ears—with 2-foot-long metal gate rods on 31 of the 41 days that PETA's investigator worked.


• A worker gouged the eyes of four pigs with his fingers. Pigs suffered from ailments including cysts, sores, and a uterine prolapse for which they were denied treatment.

That’s right, folks—I am taking a week off to spend Christmas with my family in DC. I’ll be back, refreshed (hopefully) and ready to go after the New Year, but in the meantime my good friend Joel Bartlett will be manning the blog, so don’t be too concerned if the high intellectual standards we have set here on the PETA Files flag a little bit during the next week—it’s only a temporary state of affairs. Joel will doubtless be keeping you up-to-the-minute on his favorite TV shows and, like, what he ate for dinner the night before, so keep checking for the new entries, and try your hardest to hang on until I’m back again in January. Happy Holidays!

Joel Bartlett with Waffles

Joel Bartlett with Battleaxe

If you’ve been following this story over the past few days, you’ll know that Mepkin Abbey, a Trappist monastery in South Carolina that runs an egg factory farm to cover its costs, has announced that it will be phasing out its egg production and switching to a new industry following a PETA investigation and subsequent pressure on the monks from our offices. And if you’ve been following my posts on the topic, you’ll know that a number of South Carolina residents who are familiar with the monastery have commented to say that they’re unhappy about this decision, claiming that it was unfair of us to go after the monks because they are decent men who do a lot of good in the community.

The way I see it, however, is that holy men—who should be setting an example for the people who look to them for guidance—need to be particularly accountable for cruel or unethical actions. While we have come to expect that CEOs of large corporations are going to be primarily concerned with their bottom line (and thus less immediately receptive to our concerns about their practices), in a case like this one—where good people have gone astray and are ignoring or failing to understand the fact that they are inflicting terrible suffering—it is all the more important that they be brought up short and asked to consider the damage they’re doing. Being a monk doesn’t mean that you should get off scott free when you’re caught doing something unethical—on the contrary, it means you should be held to a higher standard.

Anyone who has seen our investigation should know that the practices these monks were engaging in (such as confining chickens in cages so small that they had no room to move and denying sick animals veterinary care), as well as the practices that they were directly supporting (their suppliers slice off chicks’ beaks with a hot blade and grind up unwanted male chicks in a macerator), are cruel in the extreme, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s all you really need to know about this case. This factory farm needed to be shut down whether it was run by money-grubbing fat cats or honorable but misguided holy men. Fortunately for us, and for the chickens, it was the latter.

For a more eloquent statement of these ideas, you can read the letter that PETA Vice President Bruce Friedrich wrote to the Abbey when this investigation first broke here.

Now I know why my friends Allie and Virginia came into the office this morning a slightly different color than normal (respectively, a sort of off-yellow and a nice olive green). Pics from this beautiful demonstration in Times Square have been circulating around the ol' blogosphere today—the girls were outside the M&Ms World store to let passersby know that Mars Candy performs cruel tests on animals. In violation of its own written policy, the candy company is currently funding a study at UC San Francisco in which rats are force-fed by having plastic tubes shoved down their throats, then cut open and killed. In addition to our boycott of the company, PETA is filing a legal complaint with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) over Mars' false statement.

Anyway, enough of the depressing stuff for now. Check out the great pics below, and if you feel like helping out with our campaign, I’ve also posted the code for our anti-Mars Web banner for anyone who wants to put it on their site. You can learn more about the campaign here.

<a href="http://www.marscandykills.com"><img border="0" alt="xmas_mnm.gif" src="http://blog.peta.org/archives/xmas_mnm.gif" width="405" height="105" /></a>

Blogs that have covered this story

Faded Youth
Celebrity Mound
All that’s Fab
Jonathan Jaxson

And, of course, Deflocked. Check it:

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To check out the archives of past strips, click here.

We've just heard the news that the monks at Mepkin Abbey have decided to phase out their egg-production business over the next year and a half following pressure from PETA, including protests of the monastery that are going on today. According to the Associated Press, Mepkin's Father Stan Gumula said late last night that the focus on the monks' practices as a result of PETA's investigation has been too much of a distraction, and that they will be looking for a new industry to help meet their expenses.

PETA Vice President Bruce Friedrich points out that South Carolina had the 6th highest peanut production among U.S. states last year (quite how he knows such things, I have no idea), and recommends that the monks go into the booming business of peanut butter packaging, where they can pack the peanuts as tight as they like without any fear of our getting on their case about it. In fact, we might be their first customers. My own vote is more traditional—there's nothing quite like a good Trappist Ale.

Whatever they end up deciding, this is nothing short of a Christmas miracle for the chickens who have suffered for so long at Mepkin Abbey, and we commend the monks for their compassionate decision.

The ASPCA was founded in 1866 because of overworked horses in New York City. You have to figure that if the ASPCA’s founder, Henry Bergh, were alive today, he would have made damn sure that his group took some enforcement action last weekend, when New York was hit by a major storm that brought bitterly cold temperatures to the city and filled the streets with ice. But the ASPCA of today seems to have pretty much forgotten the city’s horses.

Donny Moss, an enthusiastic young New Yorker who has just made a documentary (Blinders) about the shady, cruel carriage-horse business, was out on the streets last weekend, taking photos and documenting the miserable conditions that the animals were forced to suffer through while their handlers wrapped themselves tight against the biting cold. Have a look at his photos and compare his descriptions to the ASPCA chief’s statement: "Our agent ... does not agree with Donny's opinion of the conditions." Was their agent in the Bahamas, or was he just not looking out the window at the time?

Please take a moment to let Mayor Bloomberg and City Council Speaker Quinn know that you would like them to support the proposed ban on the carriage horse trade, a sleazy cash business that sends the horses to the glue factory after they’ve slipped on the ice, collided with motorized vehicles, collapsed from the blazing heat of summer, or, in one case last year, endured a public beating. This cruel business needs to stop now, whether the “A” (which gets an “F” on this one) chooses to do something about it or not.

Donny Moss reports that the water troughs were kept empty except for unbroken ice for the horses, despite their being worked hard to maximize tourist dollars and trips.

The drivers were wearing face masks, hats, hoods, knee blankets, etc., because of the cold. The horses trudged on with no protection, no water, no concern whatsoever

Tomorrow afternoon, PETA members will be demonstrating against the horrific cruelty involved in factory-farm egg production at, of all places, a Trappist Monastery. The perpetrators in question are a group of supposedly peace-loving monks who run an operation at Mepkin Abbey in South Carolina that crams 20,000 chickens into tiny wire “battery cages” so small that they barely have room to move. Although Mepkin’s monks don’t grind the male chicks up in macerators themselves—egg farms don’t have any need for male chicks, for obvious reasons—their suppliers do, and this little deal with the devil doesn’t reflect particularly well on them either. In the spirit of Christmas (which is getting ominously close), now’s a really good time for these monks to think about a new way of participating in what they call "the caring cultivation of the Earth and its creatures" that doesn’t involve torturing defenseless animals. I’ll post pictures of the demonstration tomorrow—the protestors will be stationed outside the stores in Charleston and Columbia that sell Mepkin’s eggs—but in the meantime, you can watch footage from our investigation into Mepkin Abbey below.

Zac Posen is a New York fashion designer who still uses fur in his designs, which—pathetic as that is—wouldn’t be worth mentioning right now if it weren’t for the fact that, by a delightful twist of fate, PETA’s New York office has the same phone number that Zac’s mom used to have. Which leads to some pretty amusing conversations.

I got a kick out of that when my friend Michael (who works out of our New York office) told me the story, and I guess The New York Daily News did too, when he told them. You can read their coverage here. Priceless.

A little while back, I wrote about a photo that was leaked from the upcoming Sex and the City movie in which Kim Cattrall’s character, Samantha, gets red paint all over her fur coat—you can’t see the perpetrators of this act in the photo, but they’re presumably a group of angry animal lovers (or possibly a consortium of careless house painters). Well, here’s a little bit more of the inside scoop on that whole situation: Although Kim Cattrall used to wear fur herself, she had a change of heart when she learned how they make the stuff, and she feels very strongly about not appearing to endorse real fur. As soon as they’ve wrapped up work on the new film, she’s made arrangements to ship the coats used for the movie to PETA for us to use in our program to donate discarded furs to the homeless.

Thanks, Kim—we appreciate it. And good luck with the rest of the shoot.

Following a PETA action alert and protests targeting the company, which resulted in thousands of emails to Petsmart Corporate over the last three months, Petsmart has announced that they will no longer sell rabbits in their stores! “At this time,” writes Petsmart (using perhaps my least favorite prepositional phrase ever), “we’re not expanding the test and will not continue to sell dwarf bunnies beyond those already in or planned for our stores.” Given the thousands of rabbits who are abandoned to die in shelters every year, this is big news for bunnies—and for those who care about their well-being.

This doesn’t mean the end of our campaign against Petsmart, which continues to sell other animals like hamsters, rats, fish, lizards, and birds—who are just as prone to suffering at the company’s hands—but it’s an important sign that direct pressure on the company from consumers will make them listen. Petsmart claims that this was purely a business decision (“we failed to meet the business objectives”), which means that we need to continue to go after their bottom line by boycotting their stores—you’d be surprised to see how many “business decisions” turn into “ethical decisions” when a company realizes that consumers are outraged at their practices. A huge thank you to everyone who called or wrote to Petsmart about this issue—if you haven’t already, please take this opportunity to let them know that you appreciate this decision but will continue to boycott their stores until they end all animal sales. Please also ask that they turn the remaining rabbits over to a reputable rabbit placement group which can ensure that they won’t be used as Christmas presents and will go into permanent, responsible homes.

For anyone who's done animal rights protests before, you'll know that—no matter what the issue—the first thing anyone ever asks you is whether your shoes are leather (seriously, the question is almost a reflex for some people—I've heard of people being asked that at naked demonstrations). So it's always a bonus when the demonstration is focused on the treatment of cows in the leather industry—at least then, you can stay on topic.

And this particular topic is an exceptionally gruesome one in India (which, along with China, provides most of the world's leather), as today's protest in Bangalore showed to dramatic effect. The powerful demonstration was staged by a pair of PETA India members (in what appear to be canvas shoes, in case anyone's wondering) and was covered widely in the Indian media. Great work, guys.

As you may have noticed, I’ve been scouring our Holiday-themed ads a little bit recently. There are some real gems in there, but this one kind of jumped out at me. It makes an important point about not buying animals for Christmas, without hitting people over the head with it. Check it out:

I’m not sure that I’ve directly addressed this topic before on this blog, but there have been two events this month that really underscore the importance of having a serious discussion about “no-kill” shelters among animal advocates, so here goes: The first was this article in The LA Daily News, which published statistics showing that more animals die in “no-kill” or “limited-admission” shelters in LA than people think. As the article puts it:

“Over the last five years, the number of animals euthanized in L.A. shelters has been cut in half, from 37,024 to 17,881. But with that gain come trade-offs.

Keeping large numbers of unadoptable pets alive means shelters will be more crowded. Animals can't be as closely monitored. Contagious illnesses will spread, and violent animals will more often prey on weaker ones.

So while euthanasia rates have gone down, animal deaths from other causes - including illness and attacks - have gone up from 1,462 to 3,312 a year, a 127 percent increase.”

To me, the article addresses what is in many ways a problem of terminology: “No-Kill” sounds pretty great, but it doesn’t mean “No-Suffering” (or “No-Death" for that matter), by a long shot. What it means is that the people running the shelter (though they are often well-intentioned individuals) have made a decision to turn their backs on the animals who may be abandoned and die on the streets because their limited-admission shelters lack room for more, and—as the article shows—allow the animals who are in their shelters to die from overcrowding, disease, or injury instead of humane lethal injection in the arms of caring people.

The second event that brought this topic to mind was the recent release of footage from a PETA undercover investigation into a “no-kill” shelter called All Creatures Great and Small. The investigator, who was there throughout a 7-month period, discovered systematic abuse and neglect of the hundreds of animals kept in filthy, overcrowded cages with no hope of reprieve or release from their suffering. There’s some more information about PETA’s stance on this issue here, and you can watch the video from our investigation below. I know this is a complex and emotional topic, but I thought this was a good opportunity to explain where we stand.

This Christmas, please, please, please remember to leave soy milk out for Santa Claus instead of cow's milk. With that in mind, here is PETA’s world-famous “Santa’s Not Coming” PSA. Warning: It’s a little bit controversial (by which I mean “hilarious”). As usual, please direct all complaints or concerns about this ad to OMGWTF@peta.org, with the subject line “Please, think of the children!”

Archele Hundley is the latest in a long list of brave ex-Ringling Bros. employees to come to PETA with her story about what the folks at the circus get up to when they think no one’s watching. The PSA that she just recorded for us to help expose the circus’s animal abuse is a must-see for any parents who still take their kids to the circus, so please do pass it on if you know any grown-ups with children.

The wonderful Pamela Anderson, who was once paid to promote M&M's, has come out against Mars Candy for funding inhumane experiments on animals in violation of its own written policy. Pam faxed a letter to Mars President Paul S. Michaels this week expressing her support for PETA’s Mars Campaign, and letting him know that she will be encouraging her fans to boycott the candy this Holiday season. "When my friends at PETA showed me evidence that Mars continues to fund cruel and pointless animal tests,” she writes, “I was shocked—and it takes a lot to shock me."

You can read the full letter here.

There’s been so much going on this week that I never got a chance to mention it, but these pictures from the Barry Bonds hearing are just too good to pass up. PETA’s lovely lettuce ladies showed up to hand out faux-turkey sandwiches to bystanders and make the point that if we’re so concerned about hormones and growth-promoting drugs, we probably shouldn’t be eating animals who are pumped full of them in factory farms. I know it’s a wee bit of a stretch to try and connect this important point to baseball, but it’s a lot easier to make those mental leaps when the person making the point is friendly, scantily clad, and offering you lunch. I’m told that the demonstration went over very well, and the sandwiches were universally enjoyed—so nice work, girls. You can read more on the story in USA Today.

I don’t quite understand what it is that makes CBS want to promote animal abuse on the regular (though it may have a little something to do with a petty, small-minded man named Les Moonves who runs the network), but there’s no doubt that they have a pretty full schedule of it, beginning with the Survivor stunts where contestants are invited to torture animals for a chance at the immunity idol, followed recently by the unbelievable decision to encourage the children on Kid Nation to kill chickens, and capped off this month with an episode of The Amazing Race of Africa where contestants had to stuff chickens into bags and keep them there for a day, then tie baby goats into bike baskets and ride around a marketplace while the animals screamed in fear.

Since there’s no reasoning with CBS or Les Moonves himself, we’ve taken this one to the advertisers. We’re asking Kohl’s and Energizer, who both advertise heavily during Kid Nation and The Amazing Race, to immediately pull their sponsorship of the shows until CBS commits to stop being so damned cruel. And, if you’re feeling activisty today, you can do so too—just click here to write a polite letter to Energizer, and here to do the same for Kohl’s. For a bit of inspiration, you can read our own letter to Energizer on this topic—feel free to plagiarize it as much as you like.

P.S. Yes, I know that “activisty” isn’t a real word, and no, I will not attempt to use it again.

I should warn you in advance that the only real payoff here for you is that warm, fuzzy feeling one experiences after having done something altruistic to make the world a better place. I’ve never particularly enjoyed that feeling myself (compared with, say, the more satisfying warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you buy something nice for yourself), but it’s probably a good deal better than nothing. Here’s how this thing works, according to Yahoo!, which is running the program. It’s actually pretty neat:

Until December 19th, we invite you to share a story about someone’s good deeds related to a nonprofit for a chance to be featured on Yahoo! and receive up to $50,000 in matching funds for the nonprofit. Submit your story to Bix, where the community will vote to choose the five most inspiring stories. During the week of December 25, the five finalists will be featured on Yahoo! to inspire others to give to a good cause too. The featured nonprofit that gets the greatest number of unique donations that week on Yahoo! will get a matching donation of up to $50,000 from Yahoo!.

It all sounds pretty straightforward: If you have an inspirational story related to someone’s good deeds on behalf of PETA and animals, just use the shockingly user-friendly interface they have over at Bix to record that story, submit it by December 19, and wait to hear if you’re one of the finalists. If you are, PETA may get up to 50,000 bucks for our campaigns to help animals, and you may get that warm, fuzzy feeling I was talking about earlier. It’s win-win. You can learn more about the program here.

We’re busy, busy little worker bees in PETA’s Marketing Department, and nobody is busier than everybody’s second favorite PETA blogger, Amy “I think I’m so smart cuz I can make vegan cupcakes” Cook, who, in addition to running the Veg Cooking blog, coordinates most of the vegetarian-focused content that goes up on PETA’s websites. Well, in her unquenchable enthusiasm for the Holiday Season, our Amy coordinated so much Christmas content that we’re having trouble keeping up with it, which is a shame, because it really is very good. So the point is, even though she runs a rival PETA blog and is thus my evil arch-nemesis, I do want to highlight some of the exciting stuff she’s been working on for the Holidays. Check it all out, and be sure to congratulate her on the great work.

1. PETA has teamed up with Cherrybrook Kitchen, for a mouthwatering giveaway featuring mixes for vegan chocolate chip and sugar cookies, yellow cakes, pancakes and brownies. If you have a sweet tooth, you can check that bad boy out here:
2. I told my mom that if she forgets to load up on tofurkey this year while I’m home for Christmas, she can forget about getting any gifts from me. There are, however, more polite ways of accomplishing these goals, and PETA’s Ask Your Family for a Vegan Christmas feature can help you out with that.
3. You may also want to check out these tips and tricks to make vegan holiday baking easy.
4. And if baking’s not your thing, there are about a million other vegan holiday-specific foods you can prepare, so have a look at those here.

Amy has managed to exhaust her lifetime quota of favors from me by also asking me to talk about the variety of Christmas recipes she’s going to be posting on her blog in the next week, so be sure to check those out too. I hate to say it, but her first Christmas-themed entry does actually look pretty delicious. Feel free to scan her blog for a little while, but don’t forget to come back here, otherwise I shall be hurt and sulky. Enjoy!

Update: We’ve just received word that the ominous-sounding “NIH Office of Research Integrity” is investigating this situation right now. I’ll let you know as soon as we hear the results of that inquiry. And the story was run in USA Today yesterday. You can read that article here.

OK, so there’s a horrifying part to this story, and there’s a part that’s just so mind-bogglingly stupid that it’ll make you cry. We’ll start with the horrifying part: A branch of the NIH is using chimpanzees as incubators to produce antibodies for anthrax, smallpox, and other pathogens in the event of a bioterror attack. For the animals used in these experiments, this means (among other things) excruciatingly painful bone marrow extractions and, apparently, complete isolation for as long as 20 years.

Now, here’s the dumb part: We already have treatments for those pathogens. Like, there are already antibody-based drugs for those pathogens pending approval by the FDA. Two companies have been contracted to provide antibody-based anthrax and smallpox drugs to the Strategic National Stockpile, and at least three other companies have antibody-based anthrax drugs in clinical trials. None of these drugs uses antibodies derived from chimpanzees (which means, incidentally, that the NIH could be violating the Animal Welfare Act, since non-animal therapies already exist).

What this all adds up to is that the NIH’s experiments are a) cruel, b) redundant, c) an unbelievable waste of resources that ought to be devoted to preparing for bioterror attacks. Which is not something you should be screwing around with, IMHO.

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote to Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff this morning to point that out. You can read her letter here.

Deflocked: Always hilarious, and sometimes just a little bit disturbing. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the balloon dog pound:

Click for a larger version

To check out the archives of past strips, click here.

So, for several years now, we’ve been running ads, making stickers, and selling T-shirts parodying the well-known “Got Milk?” campaign, with some slightly less flattering slogans that draw attention to the fact that every glass of milk has a little bit of pus in it. We even had a full-fledged campaign for a while called “Got Beer?” which pointed out that beer is actually better for you than milk is, and encouraged people 21 and up to reach for a tasty pint of ale with a hint of hops instead of a glass of cow juice with extra pus. (This campaign was a big hit with college students—not quite so popular with the temperance groups though.)

Anyway, a few days ago we got this nasty letter from a law firm representing the California Milk Processors Board, accusing us of infringing on their trademark with our campaign. Apparently some functionary over at the California Milk Processors Board got his panties all in a bunch about our “Got Pus? Milk Does!” slogan and called in the suits. I’m guessing he was either still bitter over that time when we sued the California dairy industry over the blatant lies inherent in their “Good Milk Comes From Happy Cows” ads, or else feeling a bit ill after reading our site about what goes into milk.

Anyway, it’s pretty clear that they don’t have a leg to stand on, and I’m looking forward to their response once they get the smackdown from PETA’s lawyers. The good news is that this provides us with one more opportunity to talk about just how desperate the dairy industry is to hide the truth about the hideous cruelty, the unhealthy junk, and the vile substances that go into every glass of milk. Better luck next time, guys.

You can read the milk board’s letter to us here.

And you can read the response from our lawyers here.

I think I may have mentioned before how unhappy it makes me when brain-dead celebrities buy puppies from pet stores and drag them around until they get tired of them. Well, following an investigation which indicated that Britney’s favorite Hollywood hellhole, Pets of Bel Air, may have been getting its animals from puppy mills and operating without a license, the place was shut down yesterday! I have to say, I don’t have the highest of hopes that ol’ Brit is going to be able to figure out the ethical implications of this little piece of news all by herself, but it sure as hell sends a great message to anyone who’s considering buying an animal from a pet store instead of adopting. Check out the full story here.

Mac Danzig, for those of you unfamiliar with his work, is a Mixed Martial Arts King of the Cage Champion, and—as of two days ago—the winner of Spike TV’s Ultimate Fighter 6. I’m not going to go into too much detail about what these things mean, as the key point here should be evident from the titles themselves. The dude is a serious badass.

He also happens to be an outspoken animal rights activist, who speaks up about the health benefits and the ethics of a vegan diet at pretty much every opportunity he gets. Mac’s Spike TV victory means that he’s going to be debuting on the big stage—the Ultimate Fighting Championship—next month, and all of our best wishes go with him. Here’s an interview Mac Danzig did with those trendsetting scene-hoppers over at peta2 last year, and the following is a highlight reel of Mac’s fights that should give you an idea of what happens to dudes who get in the ring with a vegan.

Congratulations, Mac—we’re looking forward to seeing more of you in the future.

The Trollsen Twins Campaign I was talking about earlier today was debuted in LA this afternoon with a demonstration unveiling peta2's "Fur Is for Beautiful Animals and Ugly People" ad, starring none other than the Olsens themselves. Here are some pics:

We’ve been working on this bad boy for a long time now, and thanks to the genius of our Flash designers, I think it’s fair to say that this is the best e-card we’ve ever done. OK, fine, last year’s was pretty damn good too. Anyway, check it out and tell me what you think.

After years of trying to persuade Mary Kate and Ashley to stop flouncing around in dead animals, those impish provocateurs over at peta2 have launched a full-fledged campaign to shame the twins into ditching the fur coats and giving up their thoughtless (and persistent) promotion of the fur industry. As damaging as this campaign may be to the Olsens’ reputation, it wasn’t without its share of blood, sweat, and tears for us—as your self-sacrificing PETA blogger had to watch about 40 cumulative hours of Full House to pull this video together (I still wake up in the middle of the night humming that profoundly disturbing theme song). If you have a few minutes to spare, you should definitely check out the brand-new Trollsen Twins site,* which also features a dress-up game and an online store, then write to the Olsens here to tell them to just stop it already. But first check out Full House of Horrors. It might just change your life.

*This site didn’t just make itself—a huge thank you is due to Karen Nilsen (who designed the whole thing), Elizabeth O’Mara (who pulled it all together), and Jamie Linder (who, in the course of filming and editing the video, had to see me naked—for which I apologize from the very bottom of my heart).

When we announced our top 10 vegetarian-friendly ballparks, part of the idea was to encourage more people to check out a game or two at those stadiums and sample their vegetarian fare. Same sort of deal with our top 10 colleges—one effect of publicizing their veg-friendly cafeterias was that more people would want to go there. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if this latest top 10 list gets you all amped about the prospect of going to one of these prisons, you may want to set some slightly more ambitious goals for yourself … but for the people who—through bad luck or poor planning—are on their way there, this will come as some very good news.

We get calls all the time from inmates who want to make a positive change in their lives by going vegetarian, and in the course of responding to these individuals, we’ve assembled the following list of the top 10 vegetarian-friendly prisons in the United States as a tidbit for curious citizens, a resource for prisoners’ rights groups, and, well, a menu for future inmates. Whichever category you fall into, I hope you enjoy it.

Click here to read Newsweek’s coverage of the story, and check out the top 10 below:

1. Idaho offers a lentil shepherd’s pie, vegan pizza, vegan Mexican pie, soy patties, soy sausage, veggie loaf, veggie lasagna, veggie meatballs, vegan hot cakes, vegan biscuits, cookies, cakes, pies, and puddings.
2. Massachusetts offers meatless chicken macaroni casserole, vegetable bologna, veggie burger, veggie meatballs, meatless chicken cutlet, meatless chicken nuggets, vegetable chop suey, vegetarian chicken stew.
3. Pennsylvania offers tofu cacciatore, soy BBQ, tofu stir fry, veggie burger, soy Salisbury steak, soy meatballs, tofu scramble, soy croquette, soy sausage patties, soy loaf, soy pasta casserole, soy stuffed cabbage and soy stew.
4. Georgia offers vegan BBQ, meatless deli slices, veggie patty, vegan breakfast patties, vegan chili, baked macaroni crumble, stir fried vegetables and oriental sauce, tofu scramble, vegan cornbread, vegan cookies, vegan cakes, vegan pies, vegan brownies, vegan muffins, vegan peach cobbler.
5. New Hampshire offers chili with texturized vegetable protein, chop suey with texturized vegetable protein, shepherd’s pie with texturized vegetable protein, veggie links, lentil meatballs, grilled tofu sandwich, vegetarian pot pie, veg stir fry, hummus, veg tacos, veg chow mein, veg stew, and several veg soups.
6. Utah offers sweet and sour tofu, tofu taco rice casserole, vegetable and tofu chow mein, veggie burgers, veggie dogs, veggie meatballs, tofu ala king, lots of tofu dishes.
7. Hawaii offers vegetarian shepherd’s pie with texturized vegetable protein, vegetarian stuffed cabbage with texturized vegetable protein, vegetarian stew with texturized vegetable protein, grilled tofu slices, vegetarian teriyaki burger, vegetarian long rice with tofu.
8. Tennessee offers texturized vegetable protein ala king, vegetarian sweet and sour, veggie burger, veg chili, veg stir fry, texturized vegetable protein country gravy.
9. Kansas offers a veggie burger, taco crunch, burrito, meatless pasta, meatless chili, loaded baked potato, vegetable rice soup.
10. North Dakota offers a veggie burger, meatless sloppy joes, veg fajitas, veg noodle stew, veg potato soup.

Hundreds of PETA members and other concerned citizens gathered outside the Michael Vick hearing in Richmond today to ask that the court send a message to any dogfighters that this horrific blood sport will not be tolerated, and that its practitioners will be penalized to the fullest extent of the law. The latest news is that Michael Vick has been sentenced to 23 months in prison, which is almost twice the amount initially recommended by prosecutors. We’re still waiting to hear for certain whether he has received a ban on contact with animals, which is an essential provision in any cruelty case, given the high likelihood of repeat offenses where animal abuse is concerned.

Vick will be facing state charges following his federal sentencing, and we’re calling on State Prosecutor Gerald Poindexter to consider this case with the same seriousness that has been applied to his federal sentencing—i.e., to make sure this admitted animal torturer is made to answer in full for the crimes he has committed. I’ll post updates with any breaking news as this case develops, but in the meantime, you can write to Mr. Poindexter through this page to remind him that vigorous prosecution is essential in cruelty cases like this one in order to prevent repeat offenses and to deter others from committing similar crimes.

Given the high-profile nature of this case, the statement made today and at the state proceeding will have a far-reaching effect on prosecution of dogfighters for years to come, and we need to ensure that Mr. Poindexter follows in the footsteps of the federal authorities and demonstrates for the countless people following this case that Virginia will not tolerate cruelty to animals.

That’s right, it’s time for another arbitrary assortment of at least tangentially animal-related links that I’m too lazy to write a full post about. Actually, that doesn’t sound very appealing at all. Ladies and gentlemen, a very warm welcome to this week’s Internet Soup—a wild and wacky collection of the latest animal rights news, videos, and photos painstakingly researched by everybody’s favorite PETA blogger* and served up piping hot with a pithy little introduction that’s guaranteed to tantalize and amuse! Here we go:

1. Your long search for animal-friendly body frosting is finally over!
2. I wouldn’t be too surprised to find out that chimps are better at remembering stuff than I am, but do they have better memories than all of us?
3. If you wouldn’t hunt a muppet, please don’t hunt any animals.
4. This crow and kitten are fast friends. The whole thing is just nauseatingly cute.
5. Cameroon gorillas return home.
6. Ingrid Newkirk interviews with the Environmental News Network.
7. PETA’s lettuce ladies are everywhere. Check out this pic from the Barry Bonds trial.

Hopefully that’ll be enough to tide you over through the weekend, and if you’re in the mood for something a little more arcane, you can always check out my fictional blog—a little slice of the 17th century that my closest friends have described as “completely unreadable.”

And finally, we’re going to be doing a bit of maintenance on the ol’ blog this weekend, so the comments may be down for a little while, but everything will be up and running by Monday. Have a good weekend!

*That’s right, Amy and Karen. I said it.

Australian supermodel Imogen Bailey has helped us with numerous campaigns over the years, speaking out on issues as diverse as the fur industry, rodeos, and elephants in captivity. And she’s just launched a whole new website devoted to educating people about animal rights and giving animal-lovers a forum to discuss the issues. So I wanted to give it a quick shout out: You can check out Imogen Bailey’s ImForAnimals here. But before you go, have a look at this stunning ad she made to let people know about the cruelty behind rodeos. You’re a star, Imogen.

This one’s for our campaign to encourage Chicago to maintain its ban on foie gras. With a different slogan, it could probably also be pressed into service as a reminder to tip your waiters. Either way, I’m a big fan of it. It features the wonderful Brooke Johnson, and a plea to Chicago’s alderman to put a stop to the hideous practice of force-feeding ducks and geese so that rich people can pretend there’s something civilized about chewing on their livers. Check it out:

This news pretty much made my day. According to Britain’s The Independent, Madrid’s state radio and television network has left bullfighting off of its “obligatory programming” list for the first time since it started showing the bloody spectacle back in the deezy. The pro-bullfighting lobby was quick to announce that this is no big deal and won’t affect the popularity of the blood sport. The following is a transcript of an imaginary conversation I just had with the pro-bullfighting lobby:

Pro-bullfighting lobby: “Whatever. This won’t affect the popularity of our event.”
Jack: “Yes, pro-bullfighting lobby, it will. When your country’s television station takes your event off the air, it actually is a big deal. Just look what happened to the XFL.”
Pro-bullfighting lobby: “What the hell is the XFL?”
Jack: "Exactly."

You can read the full article here.

Deflocked, y'all. De. Flocked.

Click for a larger version

To check out the archives of past strips, click here.

Eva Mendes—the gorgeous star of Training Day, Hitch, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Ghost Rider, and most recently the brilliant We Own the Night featuring Mark Wahlberg and our old friend Joaquin Phoenix—is also the new face of our winter anti-fur campaign. Once you’ve had a long look at this stunning new anti-fur ad, take a deep breath and check out what Eva had to say when she sat down with us for this PETA Files exclusive interview about what led her to speak out about the cruel treatment of animals in the fur industry:

How did you come to get involved with helping animals? Did you have any animal companions growing up?

I love animals, but I hadn't had a pet since I was a kid. I recently got a dog and he's not only made me a happier girl—he's made me much more sympathetic to animal rights. I look at my beautiful dog and think, "Of course I'd never eat him or skin him for his fur, so why would I be okay with eating a cow or wearing a cheetah?" It's just not right. It's a contradiction.

Do you have any animals? Can you tell us about them?

I recently got the most beautiful dog in the world! He's the sweetest thing ever. He's fully trained and all his commands are in French. Too cute! So I'm learning French and he's learning Spanish!

What drew you to the idea of working with PETA on our "Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" Campaign?

I wasn't familiar with PETA early in my career. I remember having my first premiere in New York City and being so naive that I didn't have a coat with me. My stylist sent me a fur wrap for the evening and I ignorantly wore it.

PETA then wrote me a beautiful letter commenting on my less-than-educated choice. I was so impressed that I vowed to them and myself to never wear real fur on the red carpet or in my life again.

As a fashion icon in Hollywood, do you find that people put pressure on you to wear fur on the red carpet? If so, how do you handle that?

A lot of the high-end designers are unfortunately still big on fur, but I simply let them know that I won't wear it on the red carpet or for photo shoots. People are pretty respectful and don't try to pressure me to wear fur (smart for them … haha).

Can you tell us about the projects you are working on right now and also about your film We Own The Night?

We Own The Night is a crime thriller set in the late 1980s about two brothers on opposite sides of the law. I play the girlfriend of Joaquin Phoenix, a manager for a club involved with the Russian Mafia, whose brother (played by Mark Wahlberg) is a cop targeting the Mafia for drug involvement. It's a great cast, and it was such a thrill to play opposite actors like Joaquin, Mark, and Robert Duvall. I've also just finished filming The Women, which was very cool, and I’m just starting a really amazing project called The Spirit.

What issue involving animals is dearest to your heart? Also, you have a lot of fans out there which gives you a powerful platform to reach people and make a difference: What is your message to them about having compassion and getting active to help animals?

I'd say the closest animal rights issue to me right now is being anti-fur. I feel like in recent years, due to pop culture, fur has made a comeback. Some people still see wearing fur as glamorous and a sign of prosperity. Personally I think wearing a baby chinchilla says, "I'm ignorant," vs. saying "I'm a badass." I don't think you can force people to change their attitudes, but you can help to educate them and to lead by example. … There are way too many amazing faux fur options out there for people to still be wearing real fur. I want people to know that there are options; that killing a poor animal and wearing it isn't cool. But respecting all life forms is cool. Very cool.

You may remember the uproar surrounding our recent investigation into the Oregon National Primate Research Center, which found apparent violations of animal protection laws and monkeys who were living in constant fear, confined to small cages and traumatized by rough handling. Well, the latest news we’re hearing from Oregon is that the U.S. Department of Agriculture, which is charged with responding to animal abuse complaints such as this one, has investigated the ONPRC and come up with nothing. A representative of ONPRC, Michael Conn, responded to these reports with the following little piece of Orwellian spin:

"Our business involves offering hope to people with disease. My colleagues and I will not be deterred by extremist organizations or those who choose to campaign based on false information and harassment."

The “false information” that Mr. Conn is referring to is incontrovertible video evidence from a painstaking four-month investigation that yielded extensive documentation of abuse, mishandling, and bad practice at the institution. What he means by “harassment,” I can only assume, is the fact that PETA dared to bring the ONPRC’s dirty secrets to the attention of the public. And, of course, when Conn talks about “offering hope to people with disease,” he is presumably referring to the fact that his organization takes the public’s money to perform redundant and inconclusive experiments on defenseless animals—including injecting pregnant monkeys with nicotine and killing their babies to investigate just how bad smoking is for you, and psychologically abusing infant primates to study whether trauma is traumatic.

PETA’s Director of Research, Kathy Guillermo, responded to these reports today with the following letter to the editor. Check it out, and then watch the video of our investigation for yourself to decide whether the primate center deserves anything short of being shut down forever.

Editor:

If the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) really has found no problems at the primate center, either the law needs to change or the inspectors do. The evidence gathered by PETA’s investigator was shattering: Monkeys screamed in terror as employees chased them around gang cages, grabbed them and pinned their arms behind their backs. An infant monkey, taken from her own mother rocked inconsolably on the floor of a cage, clutching her arm—her only source of comfort. Monkeys, cornered in their small cages, couldn’t escape the needle-sharp spray of high pressure hoses. Animals driven mad by confinement and isolation whirled in their cages, unable to find comfort. See video of all this at StopAnimalTests.com.

More likely, this is a shameful whitewash by the primate center, and this inspection is just one part of a larger, ongoing investigation. It would be impossible to examine fully—in just 2 days—every example of abuse PETA’s investigator documented. USDA inspectors normally spend many, many months, reviewing documents, photos and video, and interviewing the whistleblower.

The real tragedy is that the primate center continues to make disingenuous excuses rather than taking meaningful action to alleviate the terrible suffering witnessed by PETA’s investigator.

Sincerely,

Kathy Guillermo
Director of Research

The British Olympic committee is off to a lovely start. They’ve evidently refused to allow an animal rescue group to save feral cats living in a colony on the future site of Olympic Park in London. What this means, in effect, is that these animals will be starved, crushed, and buried before building begins for the British Olympics. Not exactly the most auspicious foundation on which to construct the British Olympic hopes—and, given that an animal rescue group is standing by to take care of the problem in a humane way, it’s just not an acceptable way of carrying on.

Please click here to tell the British Olympic Delivery Authority to stop being such a bunch of heartless bureaucrats and allow the Celia Hammond Animal Trust to save the feral cats at Olympic Park before demolition begins. Thanks.

Regular readers of this blog will know that I am a possibly just ever-so-slightly overzealous fan of the Washington Redskins (or was, until their abysmal fourth-quarter performance against the Bills this weekend). And most people will have heard the tragic news about Redskins safety Sean Taylor, who was killed last week in what appears to have been a botched robbery attempt at his home.

Like most Skins fans, I was pretty shaken when I heard the news, and I’ve been following the story very closely over the past few days to try and make some sense of it. One of the few positive things that came up in the reports about the tragedy was that Taylor had adopted a vegetarian diet in the last few weeks of his life, which, in addition to breaking some old-school stereotypes about professional athletes, struck me as a nice, uplifting fact to latch onto as we remember Taylor this week. As well as being one of the most athletically gifted football players I’ve had the pleasure of watching, Sean Taylor was a fascinating, complex individual, and along with thousands of other football fans, I deeply regret that I will no longer have the opportunity to follow his career.

The vile American Kennel Club held its championship dog show at the Long Beach Convention Center on Saturday, and PETA members were out in force to let attendees know that “breeders kill shelter dogs’ chances.” As you might expect from the breeders, who congregate at these events like flies around a cesspool, their comments to our activists made it clearer than we ever could that they’re willing to blame the suffering of animals in shelters on just about everybody except themselves. Here’s a selection of comments these people made when they saw our signs:

“But this makes me happy!”
“We take care of our own.”
And, my personal favorite: “The only dogs they are putting to sleep in shelters are mixed breeds.”

As PETA Director Daphna Nachminovitch points out, “Not only does the AKC promote breeding as a 'sport,' it also opposes spay/neuter laws that would save hundreds of thousands of animals' lives in California alone. Countless animals across the country are being destroyed, and it's time that the AKC is held accountable for its role in the crisis." Here’s a picture from the event, and you can learn more about our campaign against breeders here.

And on a completely different topic, I’d like to take this opportunity to say goodbye to a regular commenter on this blog: Mars has been a frequent contributor to posts on the blog, and I had initially hoped that increased interaction with people who care about animals might encourage him to start thinking about animals as living beings who are capable of suffering, but it’s become increasingly clear that his posts have no other purpose than to antagonize good people who are trying to make the world a better place. Furthermore, his professed “hobby” of trapping animals is both sadistic and reprehensible. So, goodbye Mars, and good riddance. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Canadian Rocker Bryan Adams, a vegan and a friend of PETA who has donated his talent as a photographer to help us create our ads, took it upon himself this week to let John Bitove, the CEO of most KFCs in Canada, know exactly what he thinks about KFC suppliers' treatment of chickens. Adams said, "[Y]ou could set your company apart from KFC operators in the U.S. and elsewhere by eliminating the worst abuses on these birds, as … chickens killed for KFC in Canada are scalded to death in tanks of hot water, suffer broken wings and legs, and worse."

Thanks Bryan, for, um, "Everything You Do" (I'm going to be singing that song all week now).

And if you’d like to write to KFC’s execs yourself, you can find their contact information here.

My own extended family and circle of friends are a ravening bunch of carnivorous barbarians who would gladly eat their own dogs and cats if they ran out of ground beef one day. But my colleagues have informed me that, thankfully, not all families are like this, and what with Christmas round the corner and all, they’ve suggested that I write an entry focusing on some of the fun, funny, and occasionally kind of weird gift ideas for animal lovers that we’re currently featuring in the PETA Catalog. With that in mind, here’s a top 10 for you. Because although there may be fewer animal lovers in the world than we would like, everybody loves a top 10 list. And that includes you. So read and enjoy. And Merry Christmas.

1. The Cat Vomit Warning Sign. If you like cats, vomit, and signs, you’re not going to do much better than this. It’s also a great way of letting guests know to tread carefully if little Mittens is prone to expressing herself via hairballs.

2. My Dog/Cat is a Rescue T-Shirt. Tell the world that you rescued your furry friend from a shelter! Bragging is OK if it’s also a public service.

3. Eat No Animal T-Shirt. Paul McCartney himself wears this very T-shirt in his latest video. And if it’s good enough for Sir Paul, it’s good enough for your family. (Recommended for vegetarians—otherwise it’s just confusing).

4. Let’s Have a Dog Party. The latest book by PETA President Ingrid Newkirk is actually a hell of a lot more practical than it sounds. Full of fun tips that will help you make your canine companion the happiest pup on the block, it’s a perfect gift for those people who never stop talking about their dog. You know who you are, Allie.

5. Dogfighters are Cowardly Scum T-Shirt. Put animal abusers in their place and make a fashion statement at the same time. Just by wearing this T-shirt, you’ll be accomplishing two of the most important things you’ll ever do.

6. Be Scratch Happy, Don’t Declaw BackScratcher. Is your current backscratcher missing a humorous, cat-friendly message? Never fear, we have the answer. This is an ideal present for cat-lovers with itchy backs.

7.This KFCCruelty.com Bobblehead Ink Pen is perfect for composing that angry letter to KFC about their refusal to make even minimal changes to alleviate the suffering of the hundreds of millions of chickens killed for their restaurants each year. To be fair, it’s also good for writing, like, other stuff.

8. 'PETA Saves' Piggy Bank. Ah, so many levels of meaning. PETA “saves,” because PETA saves pigs, but you’re also “saving” money by using the piggy bank! OK, maybe it’s not quite so fun when you explain it. But it really is pretty darn cute.

9. Humane Smart Mousetrap. Catch and release, baby. It’s good for the mice, and it’s good for your soul.

10. And finally, the Gift Sets for the Animal People. In all honesty, this is more of a gift to us than it is to the person in question—but it’s a fun way of giving a donation in someone’s name. Pick the perfect donation package for your animal-loving family member, or, if you have a hunter in the family, why not give them the Peace for Animals Gift just to annoy them?

Oh, and for what it’s worth, everyone in my family’s getting a copy of this PETA book of New Yorker cartoons. That way I can eat my tofurkey in peace on Christmas day while they all laugh pompously and pretend they understand the esoteric jokes.