It's not going to bankrupt Covance—torturing animals in experiments is big business—but this is a big black eye for them, and it's a vindication of PETA Europe's work to expose the callous disregard for suffering that helps Covance's execs sleep at night. But today, the New Jersey-based animal-testing company paid PETA Europe $290,000 following a British court’s dismissal of a lawsuit brought by the company to stop them from publicizing undercover video footage from a Covance lab here in Virginia. As PETA President Ingrid Newkirk puts it,

“Instead of spending a small fortune to try to cover up its abuses, Covance could have used the money to improve the hideous conditions for animals in its U.S. prisons. This company is a monkey’s Guantanamo Bay.”

How d'ya like them apples, Covance? To mark PETA Europe's big victory for free speech, here's the video that Covance really, really doesn't want people to see. It should come as no surprise that the footage is extremely disturbing, but—as the British courts have just demonstrated—it's vitally important that companies like Covance not be allowed to get away with trying to keep their dirty little secrets from the public.

It's no secret that we've had a bit of a rocky relationship with supermodel Kate Moss in the past—things have been said in the heat of the moment, earnest pleas have been made, and, well, with Kate's long history of wearing fur in public, you would think we'd have a pretty strong case for "irreconcilable differences," if it came to that. But there's hope for the relationship yet, and it's come in the welcome form of Kate's connection with the wonderful British fashion chain, Topshop, which proudly displays its strong fur-free policy in the window of its flagship store in London. Now that Kate is designing fur-free fashions for Topshop, PETA UK has sent her a certificate of appreciation and a bouquet of flowers to thank her. You can check out the story here, and here's what PETA UK's director had to say on the topic:

“Opinion polls consistently show that the vast majority of women in the UK would never wear real fur.� Kate Moss’ new Topshop fur-free range is a killer look� without� killing animals, and for this, it is only right and fair to extend our thanks”.

It's great to see that she's hanging with the right crowd now—fingers crossed that their positive influence will rub off on her and start showing in her personal life. We'd love to be friends again.

If you’re anything like me, you start getting psyched around Noon on Sunday just knowing that The Sopranos is going to be on later that night. Well last night, as Carmela and Tony had another one of their knock-down-drag-out fights (I’m with Carm on this one, the spec house was HER project, so the proceeds should be hers to do with as she pleases), it reminded me of the amazing PSA Edie Falco did for us, pointing out the link between violence to animals and domestic violence.

Even if you’re not a die-hard Sopranos fan, this PSA is powerful stuff. But really, the price of HBO is worth it for the Sopranos alone (I’d sell a kidney to pay the cable bill before I’d miss an episode), not to mention that it’s followed by Entourage. Sunday nights and the Sopranos, its just one of the little things that makes life worth living . . . especially with Edie absolutely killing it as Carmela every week.

Ever hear of the town of Totnes, England? It’s a small town in southwest England known for being a pretty progressive place to live. How progressive, you ask? Well, yes, it has the art shops, coffee houses, used bookstores, street markets, musicians and other tell-tale signs typically associated with places like Boulder, CO, and Eugene, OR, but check this out: the city government is actually considering re-covering its furniture in pleather instead of leather to keep from “offending vegetarians.” Even in a place like Totnes, this is amazing and is hopefully a sign of things to come. Boulder and Eugene, you listening?

Ahhh, tis stories like this that make me miss the motherland . . .

As a former editor, I've spent a whole lot of time poring through a little tome called The Associated Press Stylebook. Along with its rival, The Chicago Manual of Style, the book is a thing of beauty, gleaming with helpful tips about when and when not to put an apostrophe after an "s" and whether it's ever OK to split an infinitive (the answer is sometimes, if you're feeling subversive). But there's one important issue the AP Style gurus haven't properly addressed, which bears directly on our work here: Animals are still commonly referred to as if they were inanimate objects. And since nobody likes being called an "it," we dashed off a little letter to them yesterday, which has already been getting some good coverage. My own letters to the AP asking them to ban the word "utilize" and take a stronger stance on misuse of the subjunctive have thus far been ignored, but I haven't given up hope yet. You can check out our letter below. I love that we included our own style guidelines for them to peruse.

April 26, 2007

Norm Goldstein, Editor
The Associated Press
450 W. 33rd St.
New York, NY 10001

Dear Mr. Goldstein:

On behalf of PETA’s more than 1.6 million members and supporters worldwide, I am writing to request that you revise The Associated Press Stylebook so that its grammatical rules reflect the fact that animals are living beings rather than inanimate objects. In magazine articles, popular literature, and advertising, writers are using “he,” “she,” and “who” to refer to animals—instead of the outdated and inaccurate “it” and “which.” Won’t you consider making this transition as well?

As “the essential global news network,” the Associated Press (AP) should take a progressive step and give animals the respect that they deserve by revising AP style guidelines to reflect the usage of personal pronouns for all animals.

While the world accelerates through the 21st century, progressive ideas are challenging and changing conventional perspectives. Recently, the American legal system recognized that nonhuman animals deserve legal status beyond that of mere “property” and that abusive treatment of animals is more than simple vandalism.

The public now recognizes that whales, who sing across oceans; great apes, who share more than 98 percent of our DNA; sheep, who can recognize as many as 50 faces after not having seen them for two years; and pigs and chickens, who can learn to operate switches in order to control heat and light in factory-farm sheds, are feeling, intelligent individuals—not objects. Our language should reflect this.

I would greatly appreciate hearing your decision on this matter. Enclosed is a copy of “PETA Writing Style and Guidelines,” which explains how to avoid language that portrays animals in a negative light.

Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,

Anna West
Director of Written Communications

I just got back from the “Doo Dah parade” in Norfolk, where local businesses and charities march up and down the street in the silliest outfits they can think of for the benefit of an adoring public. And nothing looks quite so foolish as a fur coat—which is where we come in. I’m not entirely sure what terrible thing I did to incur this punishment from PETA’s upper management, but I hope at least that I have now paid my debt in full. Actually, the truth is that the parade was a blast, and I would be doing the world a real disservice by not sharing the pictures. I’m the one looking fabulous in pink. P.S. You can check out video from last year’s Doo-Dah parade here.

Joan Court is 88 years old, and she's been working on behalf of animals for a very long time. Yesterday in Oxford, she made another powerful statement for animals that has already garnered international media attention. Accompanied by members of PETA UK holding signs reading, "Save Felix - Oxford, Stop Primate Torture", Joan donned a prisoner costume and sat in a small cage as she began a 48-hour fast. Joan’s fast is a protest of the vile brain experiments that are being inflicted on a monkey named Felix by a fellow named Tipu Aziz who, in a more civilized society, would have been tried, sentenced, and exiled to some barren desert a very long time ago. PETA UK is asking members of the public to contact Home Secretary John Reid and urge him to release Felix immediately to an accredited sanctuary and stop the expansion of the Oxford animal laboratory. And the redoubtable Joan Court is making a larger point—since this week is World Week for Animals in Laboratories—about the barbaric nature of animal experimentation. Do you really need an octogenarian in a cage to tell you that torturing intelligent primates is wrong? You can read the full story here, but keep Joan in your thoughts today—she's going to be very hungry.

Finally. This project has been in the works for longer than I care to admit, and it's incredibly exciting for me to see the beautiful, beautiful final product. A lot of people have been working really hard on this, so I did want to particularly thank my friend Drew, who generously donated his time and expertise and was a huge help in the early stages, as well as Shawn from our Web department, who crafted it into the masterpiece it is now—and who had to deal with me making obnoxious demands of him, like, "This is good, Shawn, but can you make a version with Satan in the background?" The generator is all part of the newly revamped Kentucky Fried Cruelty Campaign site, so you should probably check that out too. It’s pretty much the worst thing to happen to Colonel Sanders since people found out he wasn’t really a Colonel.

You can reward yourself for having read all the way through my little self-congratulation fest by clicking the sign below to play around with the generator yourself. It really is something special. And I promise that's the last time you'll see me gratuitously patting myself on the back in this blog.

Like most people, I love to watch the man play football, but if the allegations I heard today are true, I'm not sure I ever want to see Michael Vick suit up for a game again. According to news reports, local and state law enforcement discovered more than 60 pit bulls and other dogs on Vick's property in Surry County Virginia yesterday, who showed signs of serious abuse that is consistent with having been used for fighting. Officials also evidently discovered dogfighting paraphernalia, including a “rape stand” on the premises. These are deadly serious allegations, and it's immensely distressing to see such a high-profile athlete accused of this kind of cruelty. PETA is calling on the Atlanta Falcons to immediately suspend Vick pending the outcome of the investigation, and if animals on his property are found to have been neglected or used for fighting, we're asking that he be released from the team.” You can help out by clicking here to write to the Falcons about this issue, and for more information you can read our letter to Falcons Owner Arthur Blank.

The Atlanta Falcons should be kicking themselves right now that they traded away backup QB Matt Schaub this offseason, but even a year with Joey Harrington at the helm is better than having your team led by someone with a mark like this on their record.

Air Force Drill Sergeant Michelle Manhart made big headlines a little while back when the Air Force got all in a tizzy after finding out she had posed for a spread in Playboy magazine. As you're probably aware, PETA doesn't have quite the same take on public nudity as the Air Force does, especially when it's being used to get people to pay attention to an important issue. Which is why we were thrilled when Michelle agreed to become the latest star of our "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" series. Check out her great interview and the beautiful ad below—it'll make you proud to be an American (unless, like me, you're not an American, in which case you can just focus on the pretty lady in the picture).

You probably remember the Primarily Primates, Inc. (PPI) case we have been working on for a year or so. If not, PPI is the pseudo-sanctuary in Texas where, late in 2005, staff members called PETA to report that animals were suffering horribly and dying and that the facility's director, Wally Swett, was drunk a lot of the time. PPI staff members reported that Swett did the following things:

• Refused to provide veterinary care to animals who desperately needed it
• Shot animals because "bullets are cheaper" than euthanasia
• Denied primates any psychological enrichment
• Threw out donated enrichment treats
• Ignored staff members when they pleaded for animals to be given proper shelter
• Purchased birds and a baby chimpanzee for tens of thousands of dollars
• Locked chimpanzees in isolation for no reason
• Took baby chimpanzees away from their mothers in order to hand-rear them in his house, neglecting them so badly that some died
• Told staff members to use high-pressure water hoses to control chimpanzees, because the poor design of the facility does not enable anyone to safely enter the enclosures

To make a long story short, on the heels of a lawsuit fueled by PETA, the Texas Attorney General filed its own lawsuit against PPI and the Court appointed a well-known specialist with more than 20 years of primate and rehabilitation experience to bring the place up to some level of decency. She did that, and then some, and things were getting better—animals have received veterinary care, proper feed, clean water, and the comfort of bedding and nesting boxes that was all denied to them previously.

But just today, the Texas Attorney General has entered into a settlement agreement whereby all charges against PPI are to be dismissed, and he will wash his hands of the obligations of caring for all the animals and turn the pseudo-sanctuary back over to a board of directors that includes Friends of Animals president Priscilla Feral, who backed the old regime including its director, Wally Swett, who drunkenly threatened volunteers with a firearm most recently and, in the past, has failed to provide even emergency veterinary care for dying animals.

The court-appointed Receiver (the current administrator of PPI), Lee Theisen-Watt, her attorney, Skip Trimble, and longtime staff member and whistleblowers on site are expressing their outrage. In the settlement, the Attorney General pledges to use his offices to attempt to retrieve the seven surviving former OSU chimpanzees who are now doing well in their rehabilitation at Chimp Haven in Louisiana, a move that will be hard fought. Their return would violate a Texas state and local law prohibiting dangerous animals at a site like PPI, so let’s all hope that doesn’t happen.

Here is PETA President Ingrid Newkirk’s statement on this disaster:

“PETA is pleased to have helped gather and organize the evidence that led to a search and seizure warrant being served at PPI in October, 2006. Although it was too late to save animals who had died of outright neglect, some lingering in pain for long periods of time, as a result of that entry into what had been a closed premises, relief was delivered to hundreds of chimpanzees and other animals who had been neglected. Since then, animals have received veterinary care, proper feed, clean water, and the comfort of bedding and nesting boxes that was all denied to them under Wally Swett and Stephen Tellos, and with the protection of Friends of Animals. The Texas Attorney General has now settled the case, much to the distress of those who have come to know and love the animals they have cared for during this interim period, and to the concern of all those who know what Friends of Animals sanctioned and how it stood by and didn’t take action that could have saved animals from suffering. Nevertheless, we live in hope that lessons have been learned and that the facility will no longer be mismanaged and be the place of despair for animals it once was.”

Please take just a few moments to contact these people to politely state your concern:

Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott:
Phone: 512 475-4665
Fax: 512-322-0578

Governor Rick Perry
www.governor.state.tx.us/contact

Citizen's Opinion Hotline: 800 252 9600
Main Switchboard: 512-463-2000
Fax: 512-463-1849

And just to give you a first-person perspective on this mess, I’ll leave you with a letter written by Chance French who has worked with these amazing animals over the past few months. At the end is a list of animals who will suffer because of the Attorney General’s action:

November 1, 2006 7:30 a.m.

This was the first time Christina and I ever stepped foot on PPI's property. Let me tell you it was one of the hardest days in our lives. The abuse and neglect we were shown for the next eleven hours was horrific. The only thing that kept us going was the thought that we were going to be able to make a difference in all of these amazing, forgiving lives. And the next day we begun! Day after day, hour after hour WE MADE A DIFFERENCE! To give a friend (chimp, for those of you who haven't ever heard me speak of them) a blanket when it's cold or uncomfortable on the concrete at night, a toy to play with when bored, a three course meal of produce three times a day when all they've ever had was monkey chow (a damn' dog biscuit), enrichment filled with treats because they deserve it or just those fifteen minute talks throughout the day with them, those times when they look at you and you see in their eyes the joy and happiness it brings each and every one of them. We all were hopeful it would never end. Well it's happened, the attorney general has dropped the case against PPI because the receivership has brought the sanctuary back to the standards it should be at. The truth is the attorney generals office dropped the ball by misfiling and other problems. So to save face and not look stupid they're running! Let me tell you if I could save this place by dancing naked only in a cowboy hat in front of the Alamo in this great state of Texas.................IN A HEARTBEAT! The sad truth is that it will end up back to what it was. And who suffers?

TINA
CHAMP
DEETER
JEWEL
URI
RAISIN
KOKO
OKO
JOSHUA
WILLIE
CHOBE
HARRY
SIRI
CHEETAH
LB
ARLENE
VANESSA
PENNY
VIOLET
RICHIE
SHANNON
NICOLE
LAURA
NAOMI
SIERRA
JESSIE
EFFIE
CINDY
RUDY
JOSIE
JASON
JONSIE
LEAHA
HANZIE
BANGO
OLIVER
JUSTIN
CLAIRE
DEE
ROSEMARY
HOPE
LISA
BOBO
WANDA
HOLLY
MANDY
ABE
CARMEN
BUFFY
APRIL
HOPE
AMY
THEO
THOMAS
SUDIO
MARION
MALLORY
STELLA
SEAN
SHU SHU
BAXTER
WALTER
BUBBA
BARBI
JULIE

Among hundreds of other wonderful loving animals. I don't know what else to say except they were all stabbed in the back by one elected official.

Chance

Please, for all the animals above, take the time to contact the officials listed above. Thanks guys.

So I walked into my local Taco Bell today, psyched to order my usual lunch, the always delicious and satisfying combo of a bean and rice burrito and a beef and potato burrito (substitute beans for beef and salsa for sour cream). The cashier was excited to see me (yes, all the employees know me and my pal Joel Bartlett, we eat there that much) and point out that, lo and behold, the new specialty item they’re pushing is vegetarian. It’s called a 7-Layer Crunchwrap, and it’s basically like a double bean tostada thing wrapped in a tortilla and grilled. Of course, they’ll gladly make it vegan by nixing the cheese and sour cream, which I guess makes the vegan version a 5-Layer Crunchwrap, huh?

Anyway, just wanted to share my newfound favorite menu item at the ultimate purveyor of Mexican fast food goodness, and holler at my favorite girl at the register. See you tomorrow, Kim.

I just wanted to give you a quick update on the sealers trapped in the ice in Newfoundland.

Well, it turns out that there are still hundreds of hunters trapped, and now they’re starting to run out of food, water and fuel. The Canadian coast guard is working hard to rescue them before it’s too late. Now I don’t wish suffering on anyone, not even callous hunters who cruelly kill baby seals who are too young to even swim or get away, but the good news here is that since so many hunters have been stuck for so long, it looks like they’re going to come up around 60,000 seal pups short of their quota this year, which means that a whole bunch more of these cute little dudes will actually get to grow up . . . and that, of course, is a very good thing!

Is it me or is the karmic irony in this story almost too much to handle? Check out this ABC News piece for the full report.

PETA has a new Flickr account! Which is a very good thing, because up until now, we had thousands of photos of demonstrations, events, animal-friendly celebrities, and old PETA ads that were just kinda languishing in the vaults. I’m particularly proud of this project, because I had to upload a gazillion photos only to find out that the page had been marked as “restricted” because of the NSFW quality of some of our “Running of the Nudes” pics—which meant that only tech-savvy 12-year-olds who can figure out how to turn off their safe search would be able to view the account. But the issue was finally resolved yesterday, and the page is up and running, so if you have any animal-rights-specific photos that you think would fit the bill, you can send them to us by clicking here. Make sure to read the terms and conditions page before you submit the photos, or our lawyers will haunt you in your sleep like they do me.

P.S. I’ve noticed a few regular comments from folks who aren’t so interested in animal rights lately—which is really cool since a little debate on the issues is a very healthy thing for all parties involved—but while I genuinely appreciate the comments, I figured I should probably let Steve and Larry Buck know that pictures of you guys eating hamburgers won’t make it up onto the Flickr page. Sorry to disappoint.

Ken the Killer

It's difficult to say exactly why London Mayor Ken Livingstone hates pigeons with such a virulent passion. Perhaps he was bitten by a pigeon as a young child, or harassed by gangs of pigeon bullies as a schoolboy, but whatever the reason for it, his "war on pigeons" is well known in London, and his various attempts to poison and starve them out of his city have earned him the nickname of "Ken 'The Killer' Livingstone." OK, whatever, I made that nickname up, but you get the point. One last little tidbit about Ken Livingstone before I get to the actual point of this post (which is robotic peregrine falcons): In 2001, when Ken the Killer was at a news conference in Washington, an animal activist made international headlines by dousing him with a pitcher of water and shouting

"Your plan to poison pigeons is all wet. Mayor Livingstone starves pigeons to death."

The majestic robofalcon

P.S. There's some more information on humane pigeon control here.

So I’ve been vegetarian for kind of a long time, and back in the day, my choices for nonleather shoes and belts and so forth were pretty much nonexistent. If I found a decent pair of vegan shoes in my size, I’d snap up a couple of pairs at a time. Honestly, it was a little tough. But that was back in the dark ages, and today it couldn’t be easier. I don’t have to look hard at all to find cruelty-free clothes anymore, and as you can see from the picture, the results are positively devastating.

But I digress. The point is that I was really excited to see this Today Show piece about modern cruelty-free fashions. It makes it clear how easy it is nowadays to be cruelty-free and super fashionable at the same time, if that's your thing. Check it out:

Holland, being awesome since 100 B.C.

I've talked about how rad The Netherlands are before—when the Dutch "Party for the Animals" (yes, Holland has a legitimate political party dedicated to animal protection which holds seats in parliament) paid to run spots of “Free Me” on Dutch national television. Well, the latest news from our clog-wearing friends is that Holland has just become the first country where vegetarians are eligible to receive discounted health-insurance because of their diet. According to Ode magazine, which reported on the story, the policy, called VegePolis, "operates on the principle that people who choose not to eat meat live healthier lives." Apparently, members also get a 10 percent discount on vegetarian dinners, and a portion of the insurance revenue goes to animal welfare groups. What a kickass country. Nice job, The Netherlands.

Fears of E. coli contamination have prompted California-based Richwood foods to recall more than 100,000 pounds of beef from grocery stores. The scare comes after three children became seriously ill. You can read about the story here if it hasn't come across your radar yet, but if you’re in the mood for a little bit of "I told you so" posturing from yours truly, stick with me.

In order to line the wallets of its executives, the meat industry crams animals by the tens of thousands into filthy sheds that are contaminated by feces, vomit, and other bodily fluids. Leaving aside the ethics of this practice for a second (which, well, you can probably guess where I stand on that issue), what this means from a health perspective is that most of the flesh from the 10 billion animals a year killed for meat in the U.S. is contaminated with dangerous bacteria like E. coli, campylobacter, and listeria. The fact is that this recall shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone—and it definitely won't be the last. Anyway, it's good that these products are being recalled when kids start getting sick, but if the meat industry wants to be consistent, it might want to pay attention to the significant role it plays in the 700,000 annual deaths from heart disease in this country, just for starters.

In other relevant news, companies like Boca and Morningstar Farms make these really delicious, 100 percent disease-free veggie burgers, which you can find at any grocery store. I'm just saying.

Thanks to a few compassionate Kentucky residents, including the insuppressible Lindsay Rajt, who works on our KFC Campaign out of Louisville, David Novak, the CEO of KFC's parent company, got more than he bargained for out of an evening at a local restaurant on Friday night. Lindsay and company were in the midst of a well-attended KFC protest that was drawing a lot of attention in downtown Louisville when a passerby shouted out that Novak was eating at Seviche restaurant just down the street. Lindsay and a fellow activist got into their vehicle (which, by a stroke of good fortune, happened to be a large black truck with a video screen set to play images of chickens suffering live scalding, debeaking, and other abuses) and circled the restaurant until the entire wait-staff came out to gawk. Despite a slightly unpleasant incident in which the chef thought a good way of handling the situation would be to spit in people's faces, the protest was a big success. At the very least, it probably put David Novak off his dinner.

You may have heard about the latest “solution” to the world’s energy crisis and global warming. This one is perhaps the most absurd idea yet, coming to us courtesy of the well-known environmental stewards of the meat industry.

Last week, oil company ConocoPhillips and the largest meat producer in the world, Tyson Foods, announced that they will soon begin producing diesel fuel from the fat of pigs, chickens and cows. While on the surface this may not sound completely insane, given that the fuel will be made from rendered animal remains currently used in nonvegan soaps, cosmetics and pet food, the reality is that this whole idea has nothing to do with the environment and everything to do with lining the pockets of Tyson and ConocoPhillips execs.

Let’s be real here. The meat industry does not care about the environment. Period. In fact, it is one of the absolute worst corporate environmental offenders on the planet. Take for instance the recent U.N. reports pointing out that animals raised for food generate more greenhouse gases than all cars and trucks combined, and that (according to a recent University of Chicago study), switching to a vegan diet is more effective in countering global warming than switching from a standard American car to a Prius.

No matter what kind of crazy PR spin the meat industry tries to put on it, at the end of the day what it comes down to is that the answer to global warming isn’t to fill up SUVs with the remains of tortured animals. The most effective thing anyone can do to help the environment is to go vegetarian, and until we accept that fact, all the plastic bottle recycling, Prius driving, and tree-planting are barely making a dent in the problem.

I don’t want to come off all gloom and doom here, quite the opposite really. When you consider that we all have the opportunity to “vote the environment” at mealtimes three times a day, it’s actually pretty exciting. If you’re looking for resources to help make the transition to vegetarianism, you can check out our vegetarian starter kit and start saving the planet, one bite at a time. It beats the hell out of pig fat biodiesel.

Not only do the folks over at Smashbox Cosmetics not test their products on animals, but they have these great store displays—and check out the cruelty-free bunny logon on the top of the Smashbox website:

As if that weren't enough to make us really big fans of the company here, they’ve just teamed up with us to make it easy to give your mom a great Mother’s Day gift this year. They’ve made two new eye shadow palettes (I had to ask for help on that one, I was just going to call them “thingies”) in PETA’s honor that will be sold exclusively at Sephora stores. Which was pretty damn nice of them.

Short on cash? You can try your luck in a contest to win free palette thingies here. The grand-prize winner also gets a $100 Smashbox gift certificate.

And just in case you need it, here’s the full list of companies that do and don’t test on animals.

Have you voted for North America’s sexiest vegetarian yet? Here's an interview with one of the finalists in Sacramento.

I had heard of this video about the “Bionic Burger” but I had never seen it until today. Gross.

Nancy from LA sent me this amazing story about a cat who must have heard about the Iams recall and took matters into her own hands, err, paws. Nancy said the cat must have decided, "Screw this, I'm going for fish and chips."

Guess which dinosaur is an ancestor to the chicken.

In case you're looking for another reason to go vegetarian . . . bacon may cause lung damage. For real.

Is your rescued dog lonely? Maybe this could help. I don’t even want to think about the cleanup.

Chicken ghost stories.

Andy Dick is funny. Check out his spoof Gap ad.

And finally, here’s a great piece from ABC on our chinchilla ranch investigation.

As always, if you find something cool on the Internet that you think other PETA Files readers would like, be sure to send it to me. Thanks!

After noticing that a female lobster in the tank at the Men’s Club of Reno was pregnant and carrying eggs, the club’s promotions director and lifelong vegetarian, Aquila Nelson, sprang into action. She convinced the club’s manager to let her free the lobster and called us for instructions on what to do. To make a long story short, the lobster has since been released in protected waters in New Hampshire! Check out what Aquila had to say about the ordeal: "I couldn’t bear the thought of this animal and her babies being thrown into a pot of boiling water. Whether they have claws or paws, no animal deserves to be tortured like that." Aquila, you're awesome.

A little drama unfolding in the UK this week: Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, who is a good friend of Victoria Beckham (a.k.a. Posh Spice) has found himself in a bit of a pickle after asking Victoria to let his lambs graze on the land at her home in Hertfordshire because his own London garden was too small. Victoria was perfectly happy to oblige … until she found out what Ramsay intended to do with the lambs that she had grown to love (fricassee them, to be precise). As her spokeswoman put it:

"She was more than happy to let the sheep roam around her grounds, but as a devout vegetarian, she will be distraught to learn that they're going to be killed."

And now PETA Europe has joined the fray, with the following quote from PETA Europe Director Poorva Joshipura making the rounds of the British press:

"People are rallying to spare the lambs Posh grew to love. With soy 'lamb' kebabs and marinated mock meats, everyone wins, including the animals."

Maybe there's hope for these lambs yet. Thank you Victoria, for bringing their plight to the public's attention! You can read the full story here.

Well, it wasn't exactly with the Flaming Lips—more like at a Flaming Lips show, but it was a pretty swell evening nonetheless. If you're not familiar with the band, you can check them out here, but as rad as their music is, you're missing a big piece of the puzzle until you see them live. By the end of last night’s show, the entire floor was so covered in confetti that all the people in animal costumes were slipping on it. Amazing. Truth be told, I just kind of wanted to rave about the show because I had such a good time, but there is an animal connection here, since Wayne Coyne from the Flaming Lips interviewed with those authority-questioning scene queens over at peta2 last time the band played in Norfolk, and even allowed a bunch of PETA folks in animal costumes to do a little backup dancing during their set. If you want to find out what Wayne had to say about the whole animal costumes business, you can read the full interview here.

I've posted a couple of pictures in the past with some of the lovely ladies of PETA getting nekkid to help animals, so I figured it was high time I published a few pics of the dudes. This photo’s from a Tax Day demonstration conducted by PETA Campaigner Mike Brazell in Philadelphia to let people know that donating fur coats to PETA is tax-deductible. Mike quickly recognized that, while this is an important and useful piece of information, it doesn't exactly grab the attention like some of PETA's campaigns—so he did what any resourceful campaigner is trained to do in a difficult situation and removed his clothing. Nice work, Mike! Here are the results:

These particular photos reminded me of one of my favorite stories about my friend Matt Rice. PETA had sent out a press release about a demonstration that was going to take place in Corpus Christi, which went something like this:

"Nearly naked and covered head to toe in tiger body paint, one of PETA's beautiful "Tiger Ladies" will be in a cage in Corpus Christi this Friday to protest the cruel treatment of animals in the circus"

The press release did the trick, and a ton of media promised to come out and report on the event, which was all well and good until Matt got a call from the "Tiger Lady" at the last minute to say she couldn't make it. Fortunately, nothing fazes Matt Rice. Here's how he handled the crisis:

Rawr! Matt, you're a hero.

If for some reason you're still starving for pics of scantily clad PETA dudes, you can check out our old Broccoli Boys website here. That'll cure you for sure.

Pamela Anderson is truly amazing. Seriously, could the woman do any more for animals? This time, she got wind of KFC’s plans to expand in Russia, and jumped at the chance to write the president of KFC’s partner company there, urging him to use his influence to convince the company to protect the 850,000 chickens it kills from the worst abuses they suffer.

And of course, the Russian press was all over the story.

Here’s a copy of Pam’s letter, and I’ll let you know if we get a response.

I could seriously sit here all day trying to muster up sympathy for these guys and not succeed. Since that's probably not going to happen, I'll just give you the details of the story instead (I will make every effort not to be gleeful about it). Apparently, more than 100 seal-hunting boats became trapped in an ice-pack yesterday and are still waiting for help from Canada's Coast Guard icebreakers. The London Times reported on the story this morning, and you can read more about that here. Maybe a couple of days waiting to get rescued will give them some time to reflect on the large-scale misery they had been planning on inflicting over the next few weeks. Here's a picture of the boats trapped in the ice fields, which, as much as being stuck in inclement weather probably sucks, it doesn't even begin to compare with the horrors these profiteers had in store for their victims.

I wrote about JM Coetzee a little while back, after he gave an amazing speech in Sydney about animal rights and the ethics of industrialized slaughter practices. But the Nobel Prize winner just came through for animals again by writing to the European Parliament on PETA's behalf to ask that they support a ban on bullfighting in Europe. You can read about Coetzee's letter here. The translation's a bit wobbly, but it's a great story. I figure the members of the European Parliament who are unaffected by the Running of the Nudes protest that PETA UK holds every year in Spain will respond to an entreaty from a leading figure in the world of letters. Something for everybody, you know?

Two-pronged attack against the bullfight: A Nobel Prizewinner and a Naked Race

Nine Inch Nails has a brand new album out this week: Year Zero has been getting a lot of love from the critics, and it's awesome to see Trent Reznor back in form. And, of course, we're all big fans of Trent here after he took time out of his schedule to narrate our exposé of the cat and dog fur trade in China. You can watch Trent's narration here, but I should warn you that the footage is tough to deal with.

You’ve probably heard some buzz about this album already, since Nine Inch Nails has been using this brilliant viral marketing campaign to get the word out about Year Zero. They are hiding USB drives containing the new songs in cities nationwide and using several mysterious websites (like AnotherVersionOfTheTruth.com and ThePriceOfTreason.net) to give fans some new material and the back story to the new album.

I’m always happy to support artists like Trent who use their celebrity to make a real difference. And it helps when they write kickass songs as well. I'm going to have Head Like a Hole stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Which, in some ways, why in God's name was a comic-book store selling fur in the first place, but hooray for those early-adopting scene-hoppers over at peta2 for helping to persuade the chain to stop! It's nice to see that they actually do some real work in between hobnobbing with indie-rock icons and droning on about their latest trendy thrift-store "finds".

After peta2 launched their campaign on Monday morning to get the New England music store chain to stop selling animal figurines made from rabbit fur, more than 700 people sent e-mails to Newbury Comics. Within a day, the store's co-owner and founder, Mike Dreese, responded by saying that Newbury Comics has stopped selling products made of fur, and “the last few dozen leftover, unsold pieces [fur figurines] have been removed from our stores this morning.”

Hipsters can accomplish so much when they really put their minds to it. Amazing work, peta2, and everyone who wrote in to the company! Give yourselves a big pat on the back, then go out and buy the new Bright Eyes album as a treat.

Yeah, I know, it's kind of a no-brainer. But the relative cuteness of mermaids versus cavepeople was really hit home to me today when I received images from two different protests conducted by PETA UK yesterday. The first, from a demonstration in Edinburgh to encourage people to cut the fish out of their diets, gets 10 points out of 10 for being just as cute as can be. I frickin’ love those mermaid outfits.

But I don't think this next picture from an anti-Burberry protest (designed to make the point that fur is for cavepeople) would make the cut over at Cute Overload. Still, a pretty striking demonstration, in my opinion.

Anyway, the point of all this is please don't eat fish or wear fur. kthx.

Maybe Britney should stick to her trademark crotch shots, because her new post-rehab look definitely isn’t working for her. Unless of course she’s actually going for the whole "street walker" look, in which case she nailed it. I’m referring to this pic from an article talking about her supposed “comeback”:

I realize the girl has had it rough and the whole teen star aftermath meltdown was inevitable, but now that she’s got a couple of husbands and a stint in rehab behind her, one would think she’d get over her desperate need for attention and ditch the furs. Anyway, if you’d like to send her some inspirational thoughts to help her get over her current fur addiction, you can do that here (click on the star).

And of course, if the furs are fake Britney, I totally take back the whole “street walker” thing. I was just joshing with ya.

Word on the street is that fashion maven Tim Gunn is going to be introducing Dan Mathews at his New York booksigning for Committed: A Rabble-Rouser’s Memoir tonight. If you live in NYC, I highly recommend making the trek to the Chelsea Barnes and Noble at 7 p.m., as any evening with Dan is bound to be, um, interesting to say the least, if this pic from one of his runway takeovers in Milan is anything to go by:

The other dates of Dan’s whirlwind tour are on his MySpace page. Dude has been on MySpace for, like, five months and he already has almost 700 friends, which makes me feel a bit lame, given that my friend list has barely progressed beyond Tom and Princess Cuteyface in three years. Maybe I need to get into the book game.

You know what was sweet? PETA's "Eat The Whales" Campaign. For those of you not familiar with it, the concept behind this campaign was to encourage people who just "can't do without meat" to limit themselves to really, really large animals in order to minimize the number who had to die for their flesh addiction. I always bring that point up when people say "I only eat white meat." As if eating more chickens were somehow better than eating a combination of chickens and cows.

"Eat The Whales" was launched outside the 2001 International Whaling Convention by PETA activists "distributing 'Eat the Whales' leaflets," as the press release puts it, "displaying a colorful 'Eat the Whales' banner, and serving 'whale meat' to nonvegetarians, pro- and anti-whalers alike," and it made (excuse the pun) a really big splash. I've always thought of "Eat The Whales" as one of the best things of its kind that PETA has done. The campaign immediately grabs your attention, because, well, why in God's name would PETA be encouraging people to eat whales? But it also raises some really important questions about the arbitrary lines we draw when it comes to what kind of killing is acceptable to us. Why do some of the same people who get up in arms at the notion of a whaling ship harpooning a whale have no qualms whatsoever about eating a ham sandwich?

I know this one is controversial, and I know that not all animal activists share my enthusiasm for it—but my attitude towards "Eat The Whales" has always been this: I can guarantee you that whether people took it seriously or not (the “whale meat” PETA handed out was vegan after all), there wasn't a single person who actually ate more whale because of the campaign. But a lot of people who were outraged at the very suggestion that anyone would kill and eat these wonderful creatures were also forced to ask themselves whether, just maybe, they shouldn't be eating any animals at all.

Have you seen the stories about the child who died from salmonella he got from a pet turtle? It's so sad, and is yet another reminder of the dangers of keeping turtles in captivity. According to the FDA, there are more than 74,000 cases like this per year, so clearly more people need to hear about it.

And while it's awful that people get sick and all, let’s not forget that keeping turtles in aquariums or cages is certainly no fun for them either. Far from it. The best solution for everyone involved is to simply leave the turtles alone and let them live where they belong, in the wild.

So the next time you see someone selling little turtles in a souvenir shop or in a bodega in NYC (they are super popular in Chinatown), speak up. And remember that it’s actually illegal to sell turtles with shells less than 4” long, so if you spot that, report the place to the authorities.

I know I've said this before, and I don't want to sound fickle, but this time I really mean it: I am very much in love. Holly Madison stars in a reality TV show about the Playboy mansion called The Girls Next Door, which I intend to begin watching immediately. She is also a big animal lover, and—judging from the interview she recently did with PETA—she may be the sweetest person ever. In other, extremely important Holly Madison news, she is naked in this stunning new anti-fur ad. It's just all so overwhelming.

I know I just talked about Year of the Dog last week, but I wanted to mention it again because it looks like it’s really going to be great. It’s getting rave reviews all over the place.

For those of you in New York and L.A., you can see it tonight, but the rest of us will have to wait a while longer, since it’s rolling out everywhere else over the next few weeks. Oh well, the anticipation is half the fun, right? Anyway, the movie's star and director, Molly Shannon and Mike White, did some great interviews with PETA recently, so hopefully these will tide everyone over until the movie comes out. Check it:

Your weekly installment of things I’ve found even slightly funny or interesting on the internet. Here we go . . .

If you know what “counting the omer” is, then you will love this veggie take on the Jewish tradition.

I know it’s a little creepy, but my friend Marta absolutely worships Zach Braff, and she made me post this. I apologize in advance.

Pigs are smart. And cute. Please go vegetarian.

Who says don’t bite the hand that feeds you?

Check out this amazing story about a very unique Canada goose. You've got to wonder if her mate fell victim to a hunter, since these birds normally mate for life.

Kind of cool anti-seal hunt cartoon.

Never, ever, ever forget that when it comes to dolphins and unicorns, dolphins are cuter. I know its kind of old, but I just rediscovered it this week!

And finally, I know this post is supposed to be all about the internet, but this is so cool that I just had to share. Ad agency DDB Warsaw and AMS Outdoor Advertising have teamed up to run this amazing ad all over Warsaw, Poland. It is one of the finalists our Young Guns ad competition.

Nobody can make you feel stupid quite like the French can. They have it down to an art. This picture, from a protest against the Canadian seal hunt in Paris this week, just says so much. I love the juxtaposition of disgust conveyed by the signs, and outright contempt conveyed by the dude wearing a silly beard to look like a sealer. That's how you do a demonstration. Nice work, the French.

You may remember Smithfield Foods' big January announcement that it is phasing out the use of gestation crates, followed shortly by Maple Leaf Foods' decision to follow suit, and Burger King's recent adoption of a new animal welfare plan that includes, among other things, reducing the amount of pig meat it purchases from suppliers that use crates. Well, we just got word from execs at another major pig meat producer (one of the world’s largest, in fact), Cargill Foods—which we had been encouraging to follow Smithfield’s lead—that it's going to come through in a big way: Cargill has stopped using gestation crates in 50 percent of its pig factory farms!

We’re not breaking out the champagne just yet, as the company hasn't agreed to a total phase-out of gestation crates, but this is a firm step in the right direction, and just another positive sign of big changes to come throughout the industry. Of course, PETA doesn't make a secret of the fact that we don’t want any pigs bred or slaughtered for food, but the pigs who are there right now don't have the luxury of hunkering down for a long campaign to win people's hearts and minds about the injustices of industrialized farming. While we keep pushing companies behind the scenes to stop torturing animals, like, at all, millions of animals right now will experience a significant improvement in the quality of their lives. Which is pretty good for a given work day. I'll let you know once they've gotten rid of gestation crates entirely. We're working on it.

The Onion struck a blow against the cruel confinement of animals in zoos this week by broadcasting a chilling interview with Yun Mei, a panda who has finally had enough. And yes, in case you're wondering, I do get all my news from The Onion. I find tragedy much more palatable when they funny it up. Thanks again, Onion!

It's officially Spring (Allie and Lis, who sit at the desks next to me, are informing me that it has, in fact, officially been Spring for, like, two weeks already — so, I dunno, sorry for the old news. I've been busy, so I only just noticed.) Anyway, for anyone who's rocking a little Spring cleaning this April, it's worth remembering that PETA accepts donations of those hideous fur coats from straight out of the '80s that seem to lurk in closets and attics everywhere, waiting for just the right time to pounce. We mark them up so they can't be resold, use them in street-theater-style demonstrations, and give them away to the homeless, making the point that only those in desperate need have any excuse to wear fur. Ain't that just philanthropic as hell? By way of an illustration, here's an image from a recent demonstration outside a Burberry store conducted by my current favorite PETA affiliate, PETA Germany.

Dan Mathews' book, Committed: A Rabble Rouser's Memoir, is finally out, and it kicked off with a great piece in USA Today this morning. Our Dan has been working a very long time on this book, so it's really gratifying to see it get such a great reception all over the place. This thing is seriously gonna be huge. Plus, all the good reviews mean that the guy is just a pleasure to be around at the office—provided it's after 10 a.m. and you've had a cup of coffee or two to help you deal with all the optimism and general cheeriness emanating from his person. You can read Dan's USA Today interview here, but this was my favorite little bit:

Q: Your press material calls PETA "one of the most enduring, powerful and annoying pressure groups in the world." I suspect you like the world annoying.

A: When you're a pressure group and you want to be popular, you're bound to fail. But we're taking on corporations, and our currency is being annoying.

It ain't easy annoying the hell out of nasty corporations, but someone's gotta do it, and Dan Mathews is a natural. If you want to hear him talk about his experiences in person, he's going on a book tour next week, and you can check his MySpace page for dates and locations. And if you do run into him at one of his booksignings, be sure to make him tell you the story about the priest costume.

Those too-hip-for-their-own-good trendsetters over at peta2 have just released a new ad with indie rock icon Ted Leo, which is almost too cool for me to even be talking about. Nonetheless, I figured I should at least attempt to do it some justice, as it's kind of a masterpiece. Ain’t it purty?

Ted Leo used to play DC all the time when I was in high school there, and I've been following his career for a while now, so I was really excited to see that he was working with peta2. If you haven't heard his music yet, you can listen to his new album here. And even if indie rock isn't really your bag, Ted is a fascinating person with a lot on his mind, so it's well worth checking out his interview...

Chimps share 96 percent of their DNA with humans.

There is a groundbreaking legal case happening in Austria right now, in which a judge is being asked to rule on the "humanness" of a chimp—specifically, over whether he deserves a legal guardian.

The animal in question is called Hiasl (pronounced Hazel). He was born in the Sierra Leone jungle in 1981, captured by animal traders, and illegally shipped to Austria, destined for a vivisection lab. Luckily, customs officials intercepted the crate and Hiasl was placed in an animal sanctuary. Now, 20-something years later, the sanctuary has gone belly up and Hiasl is slated to be sent to a zoo. There are European activists and lawyers trying to keep him out of the zoo, so the trial is on.

Obviously, there has been a whole lot of back-and-forth over this case in Europe, and you can google it if you want the full deal, but suffice to say that primatologists and legal experts have spoken up in support of Hiasl's having legal human status, which is amazing. Even more amazing is that Volker Sommer, a primatologist at London University, says chimps are not just one of the homo genus—he believes they should be considered as the same species as contemporary humans. In the end, however, a judge will decide. . . . This story is so powerful, and the fact that it’s even in court shows both how far the animal rights movement has come, and how far we have to go.

I just heard about it the other day, but my boss, PETA Prez Ingrid Newkirk, has been following the case closely for a while now, and weighing in where she can. There was a story in The New Scientist the other day, and some of the online comments—many from vivisectors—were absolutely appalling. But, as usual, Ingrid’s response to them was just perfect:

"The level of knowledge about this case as expressed on various blogs is bleak and seems to show that what humans have in common with chimpanzees is that they have learned to throw their faeces (we do it via the Internet) when threatened. There is no need to be threatened by a kind person's attempt to protect an ape from having his head opened up and electrodes put in it, and from spending his life banging his body against a steel cage. This reminds me of how insecure men reacted to the idea in the '60s that women might be entitled to the same wage as they were and perhaps shouldn't always be the ones bringing the coffee to everyone's desks. If you see the movie Amazing Grace (or read about the Abolitionist movement), the human slavers and those who benefited from slavery - and the ignorant defenders of the status quo, used variations on the same theme to defend themselves from the "threat" of any rights for African humans. Same song, different year. What we need is less defensiveness and more compassion in the world. As for the chest-beaters, another thing they have in common with chimpanzees, if only they could see beyond themselves and lament that their empathy gene is obviously deficient.”

True dat, Ingrid. I’ll keep everyone posted as the case progresses.

In case you didn’t catch the Wall Street Journal article this morning, I wanted to tell you about a new approach we’re taking in our KFC Campaign.

Most people don’t know this, but KFC’s top executives like to boast about being good Christians. They donate large sums of money to a prominent evangelical Christian church, which one of them ran before joining KFC in 2003. That’s all well and good of course, but actions speak much louder than words, and the reality here is that the way the 850 million chickens killed each year for KFC are abused is a complete mockery of basic Christian values. It is completely unfathomable to me for people who claim such virtue to turn a blind eye to the extreme suffering that they have the power to stop.

My question to them is this: What would Jesus think of the fact that you’re not willing to even lift a finger to help the 850 million chickens killed for your restaurants, even though it is entirely within your power to do so? I’m not trying to be some Biblical scholar here, but honestly, it is just plain evil to continue to cause massive suffering when there are simple changes that can be made, and have been made by other fast food joints.

Well, if they’re not willing to listen to their own animal welfare advisors and the thousands of outraged people all over the world, maybe they’ll listen to the most powerful and influential religious figure in the world, Pope Benedict XVI, the head of the Catholic church. In case you haven’t seen it, here is a famous quote from Pope Benedict, "Animals, too, are God's creatures. ... Degrading them to a commodity seems to me in fact to contradict the relationship of mutuality that comes across in the Bible." Sums it up pretty nicely I think.

Anyway, we’ve made leaflets with the Pope’s picture and quote, along with all the gory details of what KFC does to chickens, and we’ll be distributing them at KFCs worldwide. If you attend church, you can order a batch to share with your congregation.

Let’s hope this at least nudges KFC in the right direction . . .

There's a great interview in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution with Atlanta Hawks Guard Salim Stoudamire about why he went vegan. The interview's been doing the rounds of the basketball blogosphere, and I came across a nice little piece about it today in one of my favorite basketball blogs, True Hoop, which you can read here. In the interview, Salim talks about the health benefits he's experienced since switching to a vegan diet, but I was excited to see that he had a little shout out for the animals he's helping out with his diet too:

"I don't think you should eat something that had a mother. I don't think that's right."

It's always great to see professional athletes talking about veganism, because they're great examples to point to when people have questions about whether a vegan diet is healthy. As Salim says, "My endurance has gone up, and I haven't gotten tired at all during the whole season." Which is a pretty ringing endorsement if you ask me—as is this little move he puts on the Grizzlies' Mike Miller. That's what you get when you try to take a take a vegan to the hole, Grizzlies. Salim, you're a badass.

I’m sure everyone has seen our Sexiest Vegetarian contest by now, and hopefully you’ve voted for your favorite already. The number and quality of entries has been truly inspiring.

If we ever decide to have a Dumbest Vegetarian contest, however, there won’t even need to be any voting because this girl will definitely win. ... Not much to say about it, huh? Wow.

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is really good at ignoring people. He"s ignored millions of outraged Canadians and concerned people around the world; he's ignored countless representatives of the animal protection community; and he even managed to ignore Sir Paul McCartney, when the former Beatle pleaded with him to put a stop to the seal hunt taking place in his country. So no one’s doubting Stephen Harper’s capacity to be ignorant. But, after a letter from PETA President Ingrid Newkirk to Mrs. Laureen Harper, Mr. H may have to add his wife to the list of people he gives the cold shoulder to. Here’s hoping she has a more compassionate response than her husband.

I love me some Disney—hell, it still brings a tear to my eye every time I watch that little redheaded mermaid thing turn into a real live human girl and walk onto the beach—so, as you can imagine, it pains me more than anyone to hear bad things about the company. But Disney’s latest project, Snow Buddies, which used a number of purebred dogs in the production, sends kind of a different message than the "save the animals" stuff you get from most Disney movies. In fact, the whole thing was such a mess that PETA is now calling on Disney to dump distribution plans for the movie after dozens of the puppies fell ill and several died from parvovirus during production.

Apparently, the puppies were imported for use in Snow Buddies from an unlicensed commercial breeder in New York, even after the dogs started getting really sick, and most of them have died or become badly ill at this stage. Our stance is that Disney is being a bit disingenuous by distributing cute little movies about adorable, cuddly puppies when they’ve been working behind the scenes with sketchy-ass breeders who evidently have no idea how to properly care for dogs in the first place. You can learn more about the whole business here.

I’m sure most everyone is already aware of Burger King’s recent animal welfare improvements, but I still wanted to share this little tidbit with you. The BK story was covered all over the media, but the Houston Chronicle took it a step further and published this amazing editorial on corporate responsibility and animal welfare.

It’s not every day that animal issues get the coverage they deserve, much less with phrases like “Though most consumers are vaguely aware of it, cruelty is the rule, not the exception, when it comes to producing the meat most of us buy” and “On factory farms, pigs exist packed into wire or wood pens; tails are hacked off so they won't gnaw each other from stress and boredom. Sows are entrapped in "farrowing crates" so tiny they cannot turn around” so I was pretty psyched to read this.

So anyway, yeah, there you have it. Props up to the Houston Chronicle for taking an uneqivocal stance on this issue.

The hateful little press release from the American Kennel Club that I read today probably shouldn't have surprised me, given that these are the same people who think it's just a swell idea to breed and sell animals when there are 6-8 million homeless cats and dogs admitted into shelters every year. But this latest absurdity is over the top even for the AKC. The topic was what dog lovers should do about legislation in their states to protect their canine friends from being chained up outside all day—exposed to the elements, the boredom and anxiety that tends to accompany being tethered to a frickin’ tree for long periods of time, and God knows what other miseries lie in wait for so-called "backyard dogs." The AKC's message to their members? "Do nothing." According to their press release:

"With substantive animal cruelty statutes already in place, states simply need to enforce existing law in cruel tethering cases.� The already-existing cruelty laws make these proposed tethering bans or restrictions unnecessary."�

Isn't that lovely? We can all relax and let state governments enforce their own woeful anti-cruelty statutes and the problem will just disappear. The AKC even has the audacity to speak out against an anti-tethering bill pending in North Carolina, calling it "an attempt to intervene unnecessarily with tethering as a useful tool for confining dogs."� Having spent a good deal of time in rural North Carolina myself, delivering doghouses and straw to some of the countless dogs in that state who spend their entire lives languishing at the end of a chain, I can affirm with some confidence that the only thing tethering is a "useful tool" for is being cruel and ignorant. Which brings me back to the AKC. If you'd like to let them know how you feel about their twisted logic, you can contact their president, Dennis Sprung, at dbs@akc.org. And for more information about what you can do to help chained dogs, click here. Phew. Sorry for the rant, but seriously, WTF?

First of all, Happy Easter from everyone at PETA!

Now, as a little food for thought for the Easter holidays, here's the transcript of the 2007 Easter Message by the Slovenian President (and my new personal hero) Dr. Janez Drnovsek. President Bush, I really hope you're paying attention:

"The Easter Holidays are near. Let’s spend them in peace and good company. You can also renounce the ham, chocolate-eggs should be sufficient for an Easter atmosphere.

Would it not be more harmonious if we did not associate religious celebrations directly with ham and other non-spiritual symbols? Do really so many animals have to die when we celebrate higher consciousness and try to develop spiritually? The answer is clear: of course not.

Feasts don’t have much to do with spirituality, just the opposite. Even considering that we can try to understand that in some eras, in which food was scarce, religious events were celebrated with banquets, we can now leave such material remnants behind us. True spirituality does not need them, just the opposite, because they show us that religions demanding such identifications got stuck at a relatively low level of consciousness.

That’s why we’ll try to celebrate the occasion differently this time. We use the opportunity for a walk in nature, for a cleansing of the spirit, for the search for internal peace. We are friendly to our family, our neighbours and all those suffering in this world. Also to animals. We spare them this time from our lust for meat and we try to overcome historical behavior patterns.

We will do something good for our spirit and our body."

In 2000, I was still busy trying to figure out how "electronic mail" worked, and PETA, for all its marketing brilliance, was still just kind of feeling its way in terms of having an Internet presence. But we did hit on a campaign that ended up having a real life of its own on the ol' World Wide Web—it was all over blogs and forums, and it's still talked about on religious websites—and, with Easter just around the corner, I thought I'd raise that burning question again:

Was Jesus a Vegetarian?

Here is the website that started the debate, and you can read some more of the controversy here. Have a great Holy Saturday, everyone!

We actually didn't say "I told you so" in this instance, just:

“We are sorry to hear about your injury. We tried to help you and the donkeys. Please tell us that you understand now.”

I thought that was pretty nice of us, under the circumstances. Here's the back story: Whiteford Agricultural Schools’ superintendent Craig Haugen is receiving a bouquet of flowers from PETA after breaking his arm in a donkey basketball game. PETA had contacted Haugen more than a week before the game, pointing out the cruelty and dangers that go along with these ridiculous events and citing incidents where people have seriously hurt themselves during games. But Mr. Haugen ignored the letter and actually went on TV to say that the game would go on and that he saw nothing wrong with it. Anyway, after we heard he broke his arm, there were just so many possibilities … but apparently my boss Ingrid has this whole big thing about "being compassionate," so he got flowers and a note and that was it. So there you have it. Enjoy your flowers, Craig, and at least read our letter this time—it'll do you good.

With hundreds of people standing in line waiting for tickets last week, the Lewis and Clark Old-fashioned Circus just folded up its tents and slinked off into the night. (OK, whatever—it was daytime, and circuses probably can't slink exactly, but I need a bit of creative license here.) The reason for all the drama was that York City Manager Trey Eubanks had decided at an emergency meeting with city leaders that the circus had failed to meet safety guidelines and that three caged tigers used by the circus posed a danger to York citizens. You can read our letter thanking the city here. While it admittedly may have sucked a little for everyone waiting in line to go see the circus, it's awesome to see a city recognizing the dangers—not to mention the brutality—of animal circuses and booting them out of town. Nice work, York!

This week, the folks at Unilever—the parent company for Axe Body Spray—learned the hard way that you can't perform nasty animal experiments for your product and have Pamela Anderson star in your ad campaigns. It's really one of those “one or the other” situations—both is just greedy. And, of course, it's worth mentioning that maiming and killing animals when you trawl out a new product is a singularly unpleasant way of carrying on in the first place.

Anyway, here's the letter that the wonderful Pamela wrote to Unilever asking them to get their heads out of their … um, out of the sand, and move their testing policy into the 21st century. Pamela, I know I've said this before, but I love you.

P.S. Click here for the full list of PETA—and Pam—approved companies that don’t test on animals.

Allie "Gullible's not in the dictionary" Sullivan

I know I've been going on ad nauseam about my little April Fools joke, but did you see Ecorazzi’s? Pretty funny, I think. And obviously a joke, right?

Obvious to most of us, but not all. My friend Allie actually screamed with excitement when she thought Paris Hilton was doing an ad for us. I don’t remember her exact words, but they were something like “Really?! Holy COW! Like, oh my god!” I actually felt bad breaking the news to her that the ad wasn’t going to happen, but I felt worse about the ridicule she received from the entire marketing department for the rest of the day.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel THAT bad, which is why I’m sharing the beautiful story with thousands of people on the Internet. Nice work, Ecorazzi. There's a sucker born every minute, but our Allie is one in a million.

I’ve got some wild stuff for you this week, so let’s get into it.

This couple REALLY loved their dog. Um, wow.

I don’t particularly like Alanis Morissette or the Black Eyed Peas all that much, but somehow putting them together is, well, magical.

I promise I didn't take the clown’s missing bike, but I bet the tip line in the story works for telling Ringling what you think of its animal abuse too.

Did you see the story about blood from an animal lab spraying out of a sewer onto people on the street? So disgusting.

Here’s a pretty decent piece about pork from The New York Times, just in time for Easter.

OK, is it me or is this just beyond crazy? We’re at war and the Army is spending millions putting on a rodeo. WTF, Army?

I love this funny bit about PETA protesting the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Amnesty Internation protesting PETA, the ACLU protesting Amnesty, the Christian Coalition protesting the ACLU, and Fred Phelps protesting everyone and everything. A for effort on this one, Spoof guys.

Zoos will do anything to get their animals to breed so they can make a buck, I swear.

These videos show just how insane and detached from the rest of the world the pork industry really is. Insanity.

And finally . . .

Here’s a short animated video about the seal hunt, done by Canadian Graeme MacKay, editorial cartoonist from The Hamilton Spectator.

It’s not out in theaters until April 13th, but my friend Bruce went to an advanced screening and told me that Year of the Dog is an amazing movie for anyone who loves animals.

It’s got a great cast led by Molly Shannon, Peter Sarsgaard, John C. Reilly and Regina King, so this will be a good one to take your non-animal'ey friends and family to. And a good way to invite them to see it is by sending them one of these e-cards. I’ve been sending them all day! Here's one I made with my friend Princess Cuteyface. Whatever. You try telling her she's not a dog, and see where it gets you.

Meet the ‘Dog of the Year’

OK, I’m a little embarrassed to say it, but yeah, I saw this movie. Maybe it was the fact that I grew up with General Lee Hot Wheels cars, or that good ol' Willie Nelson plays Uncle Jessie in the movie. OK, it was neither of those things. It was because I thought Jessica Simpson looked hot in the previews . . . What can I say?

Anyway, I just found these shots of a naked anti-fur protest scene that was edited from the movie. Damn, I wish that would have made it into the final cut . . . for the animal rights message only, of course.

Now a brief note of caution: the ever so protective and well-meaning legal eagles upstairs want me to warn you that the pictures linked above show a bit of skin, and that if you’re not 18 and you look at them, your eyes will melt and your brain will explode, among other things.

Total winner, this one. With Easter coming up, a lot of people have eggs on the brain, especially in Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, where, according to RXPG News, "Christians across the state consume eggs lavishly after the Sunday Easter mass." Before I go on, I do want to take the opportunity to write that one more time, just in case it never comes up again. Thiruvananthapuram! OK, now that we've got that out of our systems, here's a picture from PETA India's amazing demonstration to draw attention to the fact that chickens used for their eggs are among the most abused animals on the planet. The picture is from a protest that took place this morning. In Thiruvananthapuram.

Sorry for the great big downer, but the seal hunt is officially underway, and I wanted to give you a few updates on what we're doing to draw attention to it and how you can help make it more difficult for Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper to let his country get away with this outrage. So far, about 1,500 seal pups have been slaughtered in the Gulf of St. Lawrence, and things are about to get a lot more gruesome. I'll try and balance keeping you updated on major developments in the hunt with not totally ruining your days as this progresses, but here's some recent news for you in the meantime:

Our good friend Chrissie Hynde had a fantastic op-ed published in The Globe and Mail this morning, where she addresses the tired old "What about the Inuits?" defense of the seal slaughter. You can read that here.

PETA activists joined New York radio personality Flirty Flipper for this little demonstration outside the Consulate General of Canada in NYC on Monday. You may recognize my friend Sarah (on the right) from PETA's State of the Union Undress.

We also sent a letter to Canada's Prime Minister this week to let him know what's what. You can read that here. And finally, if you haven't already, you can express your own feelings about the whole nasty business to Mr. Harper by clicking here.

Sour Grapes?

Like, he's really, really pissed off. It all started a couple of years ago with an April Fools joke PETA did where we pretended that some scientists in Louisiana had discovered genetic evidence of the link between hunting and unusually small penis size. Gene, who's the Outdoors columnist for The Washington Times, was taken in by the prank and, since he's one of those people who gets a big kick out of killing animals himself, he got uppity as hell about the whole thing. Unfortunately for Gene, it was all about to get a lot funnier, since we pitched the story about his angry reaction to Howard Kurtz, the media editor at rival newspaper The Washington Post, who loved it and ran this little piece (scroll down to the bottom) about it in his column, essentially calling ol' Gene out for being a bad sport—and a dupe, to boot.

Fast-forward to two years later, and Gene is still really effing mad at PETA. Some impish soul in our Communications department dug up his e-mail address yesterday to send him a link to our latest April Fools prank on hunters and ask if he'd be interested in running a story about it. Here's Gene's response:

"I wouldn't waste one gram of printer's ink publishing your drivel about the April Fool's joke. You people need to lay on a psychiatrist's couch and pour your beleaguered hearts out; then go and eat a wonderful medium-rare venison steak with sauted onions and mushrooms.
-Gene Mueller, Washington Times"

Aw Gene, honey, you're still a very grumpy little hunter over that small penis joke, aren't you?

I'm not sure how many of you know this, but PETA’s President Ingrid Newkirk is a huge Formula 1 fan. She always jokes that when PETA achieves animal liberation she is moving to France to be a F1 pit hound. Actually, she probably isn’t joking.

Anyway, as reliably as the sun rising in the morning, if there is a F1 race on, Ingrid is watching it, and the first race of the season two weekends ago was no exception. The financial services company ING is the major sponsor of the Renault team. Ingrid is a big Renault fan, and even has a couple of Renault drivers—Giancarlo Fisichella and Heikki Kovalainen—featured on her F1 press pronunciation assistance site, NameThatDriver.com.

If you’re not into F1—and if you live in America I realize that you’re probably not—you may be thinking, “so what?” Well, coincidentally, it turns out that Ingrid has just finished shooting a PETA ad parodying the iconic ING “It’s easier on the bench” ads. I’m sure you’ve seen those.

So here’s the shot from our ad. The original concept was that while ING provides tools to make its customers’ lives easier, PETA provides the tools to make animals’ lives easier. That, and the ING Financial bench is an advertising icon, and the first three letters of our President’s name are “I N G”.

See Why Its Easier—for animals—On the Bench

And here are a just a few ways PETA made animals’ lives easier over the past year:

• PETA successfully negotiated agreements with some of the largest poultry sellers, including Safeway, CKE Restaurants (the parent company of Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr.), and Denny’s, to advocate for CAK with their poultry suppliers.
• Chicago’s City Council voted 48-1 to ban the sale of foie gras after watching PETA’s graphic expos— narrated by Sir Roger Moore, which documents how ducks and geese have pipes shoved down their throats to force-feed them up to 4 pounds of grain per day.
• Over the past year, PETA’s corporate outreach efforts caused some of the largest and best-known clothing brands in the world to go fur-free, including Polo Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Limited Brands (which includes Victoria’s Secret), Ann Taylor and J.Crew.
• Leading retailers Eddie Bauer, Liz Claiborne, and Kenneth Cole gave fresh assurances that they are still boycotting Indian leather after PETA India ramped up our international campaign in response to a lack of significant action by government officials to stop abuses like beating animals who are too sick or injured to walk and butchering animals with dull knives in full view of each other.
• General Electric and 3M agreed to provide PETA with regular updates on their efforts to reduce the stress and loneliness of the animals used in tests, and DuPont has agreed to work with PETA to reduce the number of animal tests it uses.
• PETA discovered that juice companies Ocean Spray and Welch’s had funded cruel experiments on animals that involved inducing stomach ulcers and inflicting brain injuries in mice and cutting dogs’ chests open to induce massive blood clotting (as well as other cruel tests). PETA convinced both companies to join our list of more than 20 juice companies that have pledged not to fund animal experiments—none of which are required by law.
• As a result of PETA’s efforts to combat the use of animals in the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s program to test toxins, seven corporations and chemical industry associations have agreed not to conduct certain tests, sparing more than 10,000 animals.

Pretty cool, huh?

If you saw footage from the Radio and Television Correspondents' Association dinner the other night, you'll know that Karl Rove said some really freaky stuff when he was called up to do improv with the folks from Whose Line Is It Anyway. If you didn't catch that, you can watch it here. The whole thing is totally surreal, but the part that caught my attention was when he responded to the question "What do you do for fun?" with this little gem:

I like to go home, get a drink, and tear the tops off of small animals.

Um, OK, Karl—and I thought I was frightened of you before. Seems like it caught my boss Ingrid Newkirk's attention too, because she dashed off a little note to him about the whole business as soon as it happened, and sent him a more formal letter this morning. Here's what she said in the first letter:

Dear Mr. Rove,

We saw your bizarre routine at last night's Radio and TV Correspondents' Dinner, and our first thought was, "Don't give up your day job." But on second thought, we do wish you'd give up your day job. Ever since you were beaten up by a little girl for your support of Richard Nixon, you've had a penchant for killing small living beings. You have a severe compassion deficit and, sadly, you have the president's ear, and the last thing this country needs is someone whispering something violent into it.

Very truly yours,

Ingrid E. Newkirk

There was a great piece about that letter today on MSNBC. You can read that here.

Now that Karl's had a weekend to mull things over, hopefully he'll be in a better frame of mind to appreciate Ingrid's offer of an olive branch, which she sent him yesterday morning. Here's that letter, which refers to a speech on non-violence that Ingrid gave in Bethlehem last year.

April 2, 2007

Dear Mr. Rove,

It has occurred to me that my own trip to the Middle East (Palestine) last Christmas day might be useful to you. I addressed the International Conference on Non-violent Resistance. My words and experience there are contained in this CD, which is being released later this week. In it I call on everyone who says they wish for peace to consider that how we treat animals is a reflection of our ability to truly open our minds and hearts to how we consider those who are even more recognizably "like us." All great peacemakers have cared about animals, and I ask you to examine your own desire to hurt animals and kill them as a barrier to your ability to embrace peace.

Very truly yours,

Ingrid E. Newkirk
President, PETA

And you can read about that one in this morning's Politico. Anyway, there you go—a little bit of a carrot and stick approach for Mr. Rove. Let's hope he responds to one or the other.

Well, in case anyone caught yesterday's post about the camouflaged deer, you will probably have guessed by now that it was a little bit of April Fools shenanigans at the expense of some poor, unsuspecting hunters. I left the bait on a number of different hunting and fishing message boards in the morning, and by Sunday afternoon they were nibbling like mad. There were a bunch of priceless comments, but this was one of my favorites (posted by someone with the shockingly apt moniker "Speaking for All Hunters"):

I bet that I am smarter than most camouflage painting morons. I mean a deer thrives by smell, those deer are gonna be running scared to death for days from smelling the paint.

To be fair to the hunters, one or two of the smarter ones did catch on early, and a few were even good-humored enough to comment later to admit that they'd been had. Just for the record here, there's no such group as HIDE (Hunting Is Downright Evil), but if anyone wants to start one, you've got my endorsement. Anyway, I hope everyone had as much fun as I did with this one!

P.S. If you just can't get enough of PETA April Fools Day hijinx, check out #79 on this list of the Top April Fools Day Hoaxes of All Time.

Here’s a great story about a group of kids in Longmont, CO, protesting the circus there. The kicker: The circus boss got arrested for making lewd comments to the female protesters. Sounds like a classy guy . . .

The protesters kept their composure and gave a great interview to the paper, including this solid quote: “In this day and age, you’d think we’re past where we need animals to do stupid tricks to entertain us.” As one of the activists pointed out, the arrest of the circus manager was not a little ironic, given that the deputies were called out to the fairgrounds in the first place because of the protest.

Anyway, I got a kick out of that. Just more evidence that the abusive, foul-mouthed circus managers ought to be enough to scare most people away ... even if those freaky-ass clowns don't do the trick.

drinkstuff.com/Creative Commons

As of this week, hunters have something new to worry about in addition to accidentally shooting each other and embarrassing themselves in public: Not being able to find any animals. At least that's the idea behind HIDE (Hunting Is Downright Evil), an anti-hunt group based in Minnesota that has been tranquilizing deer in popular hunting sites, painting them camouflage, and re-releasing them into the wild. According to HIDE President Jamie Drysdale, the group, which has more than 60 members in Minnesota and Wisconsin, are able to camouflage up to 12 deer a week, and hundreds of infuriated hunters have already submitted letters of complaint to their state governments. Here's a picture of a newly camouflaged buck from a hunting preserve in central Minnesota:

Amazing. Anyway, HIDE, here's wishing you the best of luck confounding hunters around the country. I can't wait to see the bear pictures!