Oct27
This Just In ...
Posted at 01:01 PM | Permalink
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Comments (3)
Somebody liberated the stereo from my car last week, which meant spending half my Saturday trying to get through to someone at my insurance company. To help forestall any suicidal impulses created by the smooth jazz that State Farm has selected for its hold music, I spent some time coming up with “Onion” style headlines for fake articles I want to write. Let me know which one you like best and I’ll write an article to accompany it and post it tomorrow:
KFC Execs Pleased With New Animal Welfare Committee
Old one just too “ornery and contrarian” claims CEO.
Ugly People in Fur Coats Still Ugly, New Report Finds
Draping yourself in a dead animal does not make you prettier, according to a recent study by the Department of Urban Haberdashery (DUH).
Area Jerk Belittles Vegetarian
“I like animals, too … to eat!” local meathead Alan Brown told a vegetarian acquaintance Friday. Brown admits that he did not “think of the joke [himself].”
That’s all I’ve been able to come up with so far: If you can think of some of your own, let me know, and I’ll post the best ones throughout the week.
TAGGED:
Onion
Comments
I vote for Novak. What a tool!
Posted by: noah | October 30, 2006 11:11 AM
Do an article on "Area Jerk Belittles Vegetarian" Haha thats the best and so true!
Posted by: Chloe Duncan | October 31, 2006 01:05 PM
This information is useful, thanks. See you around!
Posted by: Mister | November 1, 2006 04:31 PM